catintrepid

I'm a 53 year old woman, my male friend in 57. We had been out of touch for 24 years, found each other online in early July, on Facebook. We liked each other a lot 30 years ago when we worked together and I was a friend of his family, but he was married then, and we were not "involved".

He divorced several years ago. I was married in 1982 and divorced in 2004. His kids and mine are grown. We now live 250 miles apart in the same state.

At first he was VERY enthusiastic about being back in touch, more than I had expected. Six days into the online reunion (emails), he told me he'd been secretly in love with me back 30 yrs ago. I wasn't surprised, and was glad, because I felt the same. He said he'd come see me sometime.

He called me when we'd been back in touch 18 days, and we had a nice, peaceful, friendly talk, not romantic at all really, although I'd like that. I was the one to say by email before the call that I thought we should take our renewed friendship slow and be sure we knew what we were looking for, and whether we were better as friends or dating.

When he got off the phone, he emailed and only said "I love you [my name] and always have." <bg>

We texted quite often in the first couple of weeks, but then since about the time he said this, the emails and texts have really dropped off. I calmly asked him about this. He wrote that he is "not avoiding" me, and our friendship "means a lot" to him, but that he hates his job, at which he is working very long hours, and he's been focused on that. He's thinking of making a job change but basically within the same very lucrative field. He feels that he's at a crossroads in his life, and that a lot has gone on that makes him irritable.

We've been planning that I would stop by when I'm on vacation and we'd go to lunch, Labor Day week.

Today, on Facebook, he changed his "status" from "single" to "it's complicated", which IS one of the drop-down choices, not one he made up. Hm... does he have a girlfriend? I asked more than once early on, so I wouldn't be stepping in where I wasn't wanted.

I DO believe he's very busy with work, but I am very confused about why he jumped into the expressions of "love", before I was even ready, and now is in contact less and now this new post online...

I guess what I want to know is, why would a man say he loved a woman so early on? He DEFINITELY does not think I'm an easy mark sexually, in fact, he knows well that I am not.

He hasn't contacted me at all in five days. I haven't emailed in five days, or texted in two. I'm trying to give him some space.

I hadn't seen him as a player. Does it sound like, possibly, he's got some drug or alcohol thing going on? (like, which made him feel able to say he loved me, and then he sort of forgot to follow up on that by staying in touch regularly???)

Interested in any insight you can offer.

My marriage broke up, and one huge problems was that my ex husband was really maladjusted about sex. He also said, "I think some things should never be talked about."

What I'm wondering is -- if a person was sexually abused on a small number of occasions (let's say one, two or three times total, ever), would it warp them that much, that they would never be emotionally right in their adult years? It was impossible for him even to be a close friend out of bed, to give and take emotionally.

And does it matter if the perpetrator was a relative or a non-relative? If it was a male or female? If it was someone close in age, or much older? I'm not trying to diminish how awful abuse is. I was emotionally abused myself. I have no real evidence that abuse is my ex's problem, but I am trying to just understand better what the break-up and his refusal to work on things were about.

My marriage broke up, and one huge problems was that my ex husband was really maladjusted about sex. He also said, "I think some things should never be talked about."

What I'm wondering is -- if a person was sexually abused on a small number of occasions (let's say one, two or three times total, ever), would it warp them that much, that they would never be emotionally right in their adult years? It was impossible for him even to be a close friend out of bed, to give and take emotionally.

And does it matter if the perpetrator was a relative or a non-relative? If it was a male or female? If it was someone close in age, or much older? I'm not trying to diminish how awful abuse is. I was emotionally abused myself. I have no real evidence that abuse is my ex's problem, but I am trying to just understand better what the break-up and his refusal to work on things were about.

Okay, we all know people of both genders who are our age can be tired, stressed, have variations in their level of sexual desire. But is it normal for a man to say his marriage is great but almost never want to have sex, like once every couple of months, and when the wife initiates or asks about increasing the frequency, he takes the stand that sex just isn't important to him any more? Am I mistaken to think many men like, want, and try to have sex well past 40? Don't guys these ages, er, have occasional glitches, but can usually perform, and if not, they would try again soon, and/or get help? Don't a lot of guys in their 40s, 50s, sixties still want sex "often", say, usu. a couple times a week or more? My guy basically just quit our sex life altogether. He is 51, I am 46. No sex for almost two years. :-(

Okay, we all know people of both genders who are our age can be tired, stressed, have variations in their level of sexual desire. But is it normal for a man to say his marriage is great but almost never want to have sex, like once every couple of months, and when the wife initiates or asks about increasing the frequency, he takes the stand that sex just isn't important to him any more? Am I mistaken to think many men like, want, and try to have sex well past 40? Don't guys these ages, er, have occasional glitches, but can usually perform, and if not, they would try again soon, and/or get help? Don't a lot of guys in their 40s, 50s, sixties still want sex "often", say, usu. a couple times a week or more? My guy basically just quit our sex life altogether. He is 51, I am 46. No sex for almost two years. :-(

Okay, we all know people of both genders who are our age can be tired, stressed, have variations in their level of sexual desire. But is it normal for a man to say his marriage is great but almost never want to have sex, like once every couple of months, and when the wife initiates or asks about increasing the frequency, he takes the stand that sex just isn't important to him any more? Am I mistaken to think many men like, want, and try to have sex well past 40? Don't guys these ages, er, have occasional glitches, but can usually perform, and if not, they would try again soon, and/or get help? Don't a lot of guys in their 40s, 50s, sixties still want sex "often", say, usu. a couple times a week or more? My guy basically just quit our sex life altogether. He is 51, I am 46. No sex for almost two years. :-(

can you get supplemental insurance from AFLAC?

I'm a U.S. citizen. I'm wondering if any Canadians here can tell about your celebration of Thanksgiving. What are the customs? Is it a BIG holiday, or a smaller one? Thanks.

I'm interested in antique jewelry. I've seen a few antique lockets with this symbol on them http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/ebayisapi.dll?vie... . Do you know what it means?

I don't think it's a monogram, because I've seen the very same sign on a few of them.

In the olden days, people used mourning lockets, say, with a lock of hair in them, to remember the dead. Could this be something about alpha and Omega (a Biblical symbol for Christ, the beginning and the end, like the start and end of the Greek alphabet)?

I'm interested in antique jewelry. I've seen a few antique lockets with this symbol on them http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/ebayisapi.dll?vie... . Do you know what it means?

I don't think it's a monogram, because I've seen the very same sign on a few of them.

In the olden days, people used mourning lockets, say, with a lock of hair in them, to remember the dead. Could this be something about alpha and Omega (a Biblical symbol for Christ, the beginning and the end, like the start and end of the Greek alphabet)?

I'm interested in antique jewelry. I've seen a few antique lockets with this symbol on them http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item... . Do you know what it means?

I don't think it's a monogram, because I've seen the very same sign on a few of them.

In the olden days, people used mourning lockets, say, with a lock of hair in them, to remember the dead. Could this be something about alpha and Omega (a Biblical symbol for Christ, the beginning and the end, like the start and end of the Greek alphabet)?

I'm interested in antique jewelry. I've seen a few antique lockets with this symbol on them http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item... . Do you know what it means?

I don't think it's a monogram, because I've seen the very same sign on a few of them.

In the olden days, people used mourning lockets, say, with a lock of hair in them, to remember the dead. Could this be something about alpha and Omega (a Biblical symbol for Christ, the beginning and the end, like the start and end of the Greek alphabet)?

I'm interested in antique jewelry. I've seen a few antique lockets with this symbol on them http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item... . Do you know what it means?

I don't think it's a monogram, because I've seen the very same sign on a few of them.

In the olden days, people used mourning lockets, say, with a lock of hair in them, to remember the dead. Could this be something about alpha and Omega (a Biblical symbol for Christ, the beginning and the end, like the start and end of the Greek alphabet)?

I used to have this a few times a month as a teen. Now as a middle aged adult, it happens very rarely. I'll have these little spells, usually at night, when all of a sudden, I can see everything around me, but it looks like everything is noticeably smaller than usual, but all in proportion to one another, still. I've never taken street drugs and am in good health. This might last a few minutes to a half hour, then go away.

Anyone else ever hear of this, experience it, or know what it is? Is it a type of "ocular migraine"? Thanks.

Please go look at the website http://www.mrketplace.com/ . It is about the business of men's fashion, particularly but not only in the US (and a dear friend is the editor ;-) )

Please go look at the website http://www.mrketplace.com/ . It is about the business of men's fashion, particularly but not only in the US (and a dear friend is the editor ;-) )

Okay, I'm a nurse working in a juvenile detention facility for youths age 10 to 16. As you might imagine, we're very careful about conficating items by which the kids might hurt themselves or others.

A fellow nurse wants to ban gallon-size ziplock kitchen bags. She states they are a suffocation risk, for possible suicide. I, too, want to prevent suicides -- I definitely don't want to put anyone at risk! -- but I think having the bags on hand in the infirmary would be very useful so we can make icepacks for use such as on sprained ankles. The kids would not be able to obtain the bag without the nurse's getting it, and they are continuously under observation by staff members, 24/7, except while asleep in single cells. The kids are allowed to take a very limited number and kinds of things into their cells for this reason, and we could take ice packs away at bedtime if necessary.

I DO understand despair and suicidal thinking -- I had a rough adolescence and bad marriage, myself.

that people terribly, terribly misspell words in their questions?? Man, I think we all ought to get five extra points every time we ask or answer a question and what we've written is properly spelled/typed and reasonably easy to understand. Who's with me?

Want to find this college classmate/friend and get back in touch. He was a writer and I think an advertising major. University of Bridgeport, CT, USA, ca class of 1979? He was from PA, Warminster or around there, white, blonde hair, brown eyes, medium height and build, and I think he has an early June birthday and would be aged 48-50. Lived in Chicago in early 1980s. I'm Ms. FK, RN, from Warner Hall -- leave message for me here on Yahoo Answers.

I'm not teasing you, I just care, know what you're going through, and wonder if you've finally asked him the all-important question?