L33TLobster

If I were to burn a bible, how would Christians react? What about a whole pile of em?

Area 51 - Formerly an abandoned porno warehouse converted into the first international Scientology Headquarters, with the addition of several chairs and lamps. Today, it's a heavily guarded anonymous plot of land where lab coats and religious text lay side by side. As you read this, the scientologists are working hand in hand with the government, as to bypass the freedom of information act, through the cover of religious exemption.

It all started in 1947, with the Roswell incident. A couple of yokels discovered the wreckage, and upon discovering the alien, they decided to keep it to themselves, and towed the wrecked craft to their warehouse. They decided to store the alien until they could properly decide what to do, so they preserved it in honey.

Unfortunately, they discovered others had heard of the crash. Deciding it would be best to throw the government off the trail, they gave false reports of what they had seen. Unfortunately, they hadn't recovered all of the alien UFO material, and the government was soon knocking on their door. They managed to persuade them that everything they had told them was true, and they kept out of the media frenzy that shortly ensued.

In 1953 however, they discovered the book Dianetics. Upon reading it, they determined that L. Ron Hubbard would be the most enlightened on the subject. They quickly contacted him, and he arrived at their warehouse the very next morning. Unfortunately for the yokels, Hubbard was so overcome by their discovery that he demanded the alien body be taken directly to California for study. The yokels agreed, and soon a fight broke loose. Hubbard had brought a gun, and was the victor in mere seconds.

Unfortunately for Hubbard, the feds would soon be back, only to discover an older man had replaced the two younger ones who were still registered at that address. Feigning disorientation, L. Ron managed to convince the officials that he had only just moved, and could not answer any questions at the time. However, the Church of Scientology had secretly convened in the warehouse, and in a hastily made decision that would soon become the downfall of their secrecy, they decided to keep the alien there to prevent any damage that could be caused by transportation. It was only a matter of time...

The government and the scientologists are withholding information about alien life from us in Area 51. How do we get the information from them?