PeaceSeeker2K8

I have a friend that lives in the Miami area. I used to live in Florida too and left a year ago. We actually met each other in Florida before I moved away. Recently, I visited the Miami area and let her know I was there. When I asked her if she wanted to meet up for lunch or dinner, she said that she didn't think it would work out because she 'already has plans the rest of the week.' I was in town for a week. Of course, because I flew over a thousand miles and hoped to see her while I was there, my feelings were quite hurt by this. I didn't believe she had plans for every single day in the week either. I can't believe she thought I'd be stupid enough to believe that. Also, if she had flew over a thousand miles and came to my city, I would've been thrilled to see her and might have changed some of those plans knowing that I can do those things anytime, but friends from out of state aren't always there. My question is: why would someone do that? It's odd because she texted me again a day later trying to converse with me but said she still couldn't meet up. She never apologized either. I don't get it and would like to hear from someone who has done this to their friends and why. I need that perspective. Thanks!

I've been a dedicated and baptized Jehovah's Witness for 12 years now, but I've pretty much been in the truth my entire life. However, throughout my life, I have not only been an outsider to the world, I have also been an outsider within my own faith meaning I truly have never fit in among other Jehovah's Witnesses. Out of all 12 years that I've been in the truth, I've only had 2 lasting friendships, which have now ended due to changing circumstances. Nevertheless, the point is that I've tried to get closer to a lot more people in Jehovah's organization than just 2, but I fail repeatedly. Witnesses seem to put such a guard up to where only certain people in the congregation can get close to them and usually you have to play some "special" part (in their minds) in the congregation to even have a fighting chance at being their friends. For example, at my old Kingdom Hall there's this sister that I've been trying to befriend for quite sometime now. She appeared to be very spiritually minded and mature manifesting herself as a pillar in the congregation. She was studying with at least one of the many new ones that were coming to the Hall. Well, even though she and her husband did do a few things with my husband and I at first, after a while when I would try to continue the progress of the relationship, she would do things like not return my phone calls, ignore my emails, and totally blow me off most of the time unapologetically. I wondered why and it seemed like the answer came out in a conversation we wound up having later...she kept saying things like, 'I like this person because they go out in service a lot' and saying things to me like 'you can get to know your new congregation better by going out in service more with them.' So after a while, I felt like she was saying that I don't go out in service enough to be her friend! Sounds ridiculous right? It made me feel like she was being pretty short sighted and narrow minded because 1) she does not know my situation. Unlike her, I work 40 hours a week, so I go out in the ministry when I can...usually on the weekends. 2) just because someone spends more time in the ministry doesn't automatically catapult their spirtuality above mine. Sad to say there are many who pioneer who set very bad examples and are haughty rather than humble. And...a CO recently reminded us that a so called 'regular' publisher can put in 10 hours a month in service and it still be looked at the same to Jehovah as a pioneer who averages 70 hours a month in service. It's all about if that time that we spent in the ministry was whole souled service. But yet, here she is making me feel like I'm beneath her because I can't go out as much as her. Well, I certainly would if my husband was the primary bread winner like hers and pampered me to death like hers does! Yeah...then I'd have plenty of time to go out in service as much as she does. Even with all that being said, here's the most interesting part: I did take a good look at my schedule to see if I could spend more time in the ministry and I found that I could go out at least one extra day a month. I contacted her via email and asked if she would be interested in us working together in the ministry that one extra day a month (since she made those comments before). She said she had to get back with me on that due to some 'changes in her schedule.' (Yeah what changes...she doesn't even work anymore!). After that, I never heard anything. I hinted at it again so as to remind her a few times after that...still nothing. And that's only one example. This is exactly the kind of stuff that I"m talking about. I've been dealing with situations like these my entire life from Witnesses. The people who are supposed to be more than happy to welcome you in. The ones who will rebuke you for having "worldly" friends but at the same time refusing to be your friend themselves! Well who am I supposed to hang out with if my own people won't accept me? It's really starting to bother me to the point where I am seriously fighting discouragement. For most of my life, I've dismissed this treatment reasoning that even if others in the congregation don't befriend me, I am still loved and valued by Jehovah himself and I am here for him not people. But the stretching of that reasoning is about ready to snap, because I am still human and I have needs too...needs that are not being met by my fellow believers because I'm not an elder, or a pioneer, or a ministerial servant, or a pretty girl, or a super skinny girl, or whatever else people in the organization use as their basis for befriending people. I recall reading in the new YPA book that sometimes we tend to build a chasm between us and others that can't be crossed. The book suggested ways to cross the chasm...but I know that's not true with me. I really have put forth an effort to get to know and befriend others, but I just feel they have some sort of prejudice against me. Addition