?

Last night I got up and was trying to catch santa delivering presents.

When I snuck by my parents room, I saw santa having sex with my mother.

Why would santa do this?

Should I tell my dad?

WHy is my poo green? It happened after I ate blue jello.

Can I sue the jello people? I don't like having green poo.

There are some sales on cell phones now, but im just wondering, will they be even cheaper after christmas?

I farted really hard tonight and for some reason a skittle popped out of my belly button.

I remember eating skittles earlier, but one couldn't have fallen in my belly button.

Does this mean the skittle went down in to my stomach and when i farted really hard it got shot out my belly button?

Please help, will more skittles come out of my belly button if I fart again?

Everyone is together for thanksgiving and we are just about to eat.

I was in the kitchen with my grandpa and all the food was on the tables and counter. Anyway, he put his penis in the mash potatoes and wiggled it all around.

My parents are sending him to a nursing home soon, so he is upset with them.

Anyway, he left the kitchen and then my dad came in. I know this will sound unbelievable, but he then put his penis in the mashed potatoes (I dont think he knew my grandpa did this). My dad has been fighting with my grandpa and my mom and i guess this was his way of messing with them.

My dad left and i was alone. So i decided to stick my penis in the mashed potatoes also to punish them all for being bad.

Anyway, should I tell my mom that everyone stuck their penis in the mashed potatoes?

The other day I had a massive fart that needed to get out, but I held it in because i was making out with a really hot chic.

Anyway, shortly afterwards I got a headache.

If you hold in a fart is it possible that you could explode your brain, or pop your eyes out, or other such things like that?

I just masturbated and I'm not lying, when I orgasmed, my penis yogurt shot so high in the air that it hit the ceiling. That's like 6-7 feet in the air!!!!

Have you ever shot your junk that high before? I never have.

how big do you think your biggest poo was?

1lb? 2lbs?

did it require multiple flushes?

Are occupy wall street terrorists? Is that why the police beat them and spray them with pepper spray?

Am I allowed to go beat up occupy wall street people? If the police can beat them up so can I right?

How can you immigrate to another country?

Is it easy to do?

I'm thinking about leaving the west because I think this place is going to turn in to a dictatorship soon. Just wondering what I'd have to do in order to live in another country>?

I went to a hypnotist to help me stop smoking. It's working well. However, since I went to the hypnotist I find that I can't touch my penis with my hands.

I don't know what he did to me, but when I go to touch my penis, either to go to the washroom or to masturbate, I'm unable to do so. My hands get close, but something stops them from touching.

I can live with this when it comes to peeing because I have good aim, but this is really affecting my ability to masturbate.

Also, I'm worried that the hypnotist hypnotized me for other things other than just smoking. Such as not being able to touch my penis. I've also been having strange homosexual dreams (but I'm not gay).

What should I do? how can I undo whatever the hypnotist did?

This question is for people over 30.

Do you ever feel like your life was a waste? like you failed to live up to your potential.

if so, how do you cope with that?

Is anyone else getting sick of the whole republican versus democrat debate?

Isn't the real issue corruption and ineffective leadership on BOTH sides of the isle?

You've got democrat senators sending pictures of their penis to women on the internet and you've got republican senators sucking off guys in airport washrooms. I mean, how can anyone really stand behind either party with a straight face?

Isn't it maybe time for those who are both left AND right to come together and fight together on the issues that they share in common... like ending corruption, lobbying and rewarding incompetence on both sides of the isle?

Are you for war or against war?

Personally, unless another country has troops on our soil or are firing missles at us, I'm against war.

Black is such an intimidating color.

WHy don't police have white uniforms. Then people wouldn't be so afraid of them when they are getting beat with a white baton.

I'm looking for a hot woman who likes sex.

What I bring to the table:

- i have a 9 inch penis

- My parents don't charge me rent

- I will cuddle with you and watch girly shows if that makes you happy

I can only choose one woman, so make a good impression and I might choose you.

Like, how long does it take you to wake up and get out the door?

I have 2 cups of tea, eat breakfast and shower. From the time I wake up it takes me about 2 hours before I'm actually going with my day.

I don't think it broke hte skin, so I should be ok right?

I don't want to turn in to a zombie.

Ive been dating this girl and I recently found out that she's a porn star.

I don't watch a lot of porn, so I wouldn't have known.

what should I do?

My dream was to one day become a tyrrant and have a concubines and riches and people to do my biding.

It's not going to happen, i'm just another face in the crowd.

Is my life wasted without my dream coming true?