Matt

My GF has BPD & its so difficult. Like yesterday & today. I try helping her but she gates mad saying she doesnt need my help, but then gets mad if I dont help. I love her so much, she is an awesome girl with so many wonderful qualities, but I just dont know how to cope. All my hope rests on a new psych she is seeing who specialises in BPD.

Does anyone have any advice? Please...I'm desperate!

A few years ago I used to have extremely graphic nightmares, usually involving me flying and/or falling. I would wake literally in a pool of sweat, with the sheets soaked & feeling like I'd just run a marathon.

I thought I'd stopped having them years ago until a few months ago when my new GF told me about me moving & kicking in my sleep. Twice, I remembered having dreams that involved protecting her. Once, while I was dreaming I was flicking giant rats off her that bit me as I did it, apparently I was waving my arms around. Luckily, I didnt hurt her.

The other day, I dreamt I was chasing dog like monsters away from her. A few got behind me & were biting me on the legs so I kicked them. Unfortunately, this time she woke me saying I'd just kicked her :(

I felt sooo bad! We have been having some probs & this just makes it worse. I would do anything for her & to think I kicked her is terrible.

Are these night terrors & what can I do?

comment if you're a guy who just got super curious :P

My GF was abused as a child and currently lives with her abusive father. When we started going out, everything was awesome. But then we hit a hurdle, had some problems, mostly my fault. We sorted things out but ever since she has been abusive to me, swearing and screaming at me for the slightest thing, just like her father does to her.

I try to be as patient as possible but tonight I couldnt take it anymore. It seems we have split up.

I love her, she is a great girl but suffers from a few issues, some of which she is taking out on me. She blames me for her bad decisions, blames me for all sorts of things.

I know some of you will say end it, but I dont want to. I want the amazing girl I fell in love with back, not this abusive girl.

Please, I need some good advice...

My elderly Siamese cat, Topaz, has had kidney disease for 4yrs. We have kept her going with a healthy diet and she is playful, so not suffering at all. But she has been peeing on my bed a lot lately, incl the last 2 nights in a row. I think she has incontinence. I'll take her to the vet if it helps but I'm not sure there's anything a vet can do for this.

Has anyone had any experience with cat incontinence? Any ideas?

Every time I turn on the TV, America is at war. Either with another nation (like the illegal action in Iraq) or with themselves. Their gun laws are insane. As a Christian I'm offended when some redneck says its his "God given right" to carry an AK47! Jesus said "love thy enemy" not murder them in their sleep using drones! The USA murder and violent crime rate is insane. Every few months there is a shooting in a school. A SCHOOL!

Do you think America will always be like this or do you see a brighter future?

I've known this girl for 3 yrs & about 2mths ago we started going out. I really like this girl. I respect her so much for all she has been through yet is still such a great girl. We are great for each other. Despite her issues, I've never seen her so happy since we've been going out...until last week.

Trouble is I suffer from severe depression & as part of that sometimes get very irritable, often without realising it.

Last week we had a huge fight over something really stupid (my fault) & she dumped me on the side of the freeway. It took me 3hrs to get home & I was pretty mad. Over the next 2 days I said some pretty mean things to her. She is very sensitive & has some big issues to deal with, so this is the worst thing I could have done.

I feel so bad for the way I've acted & I desperately want her back.

I've told her how sorry I am, how determined I am to not be so irritable.

What else can I do to get her back? To show her that even though I have my own issues I am still worth it?

I have been going out with this girl for bit over a month but we've known each other for almost 3yrs. She has some severe issues, mostly to do with the way she has been treated in the past by guys. I understand this & try to help her as much as I can. When she gets upset I will talk quietly & calmly to her to find out the problem, yet she will often scream & swear at me, but if I defend myself I am a "monster". I'm not even allowed to swear at something else (not at her) or she gets offended, yet she swears at me & hurls abuse. I do everything for her but she is so ungrateful. Last Friday after spending 2hrs in a doctors waiting room for her so she wouldnt be bored by herself, we had a huge fight on the way home. She dumped me on Eastlink. I walked for an hour before I was picked up by the police & put in the back of a paddy van! It took me 3hrs to get home.

I always cook for her, altho lately she has done a fair bit of the cleaning, its usually me that does it. She has only contributed to shopping lately when I was broke so had no money for food.

I have devoted entire days to helping her with her issues but a simple thankyou is rare. We all make mistakes but I have never heard her say she is sorry, even tho I apologise for my mistakes every time. She will constantly blame me for things she does.

She has been abused in the past, yet she is now being verbally abusive & manipulative with me.

I really love this girl, she has many great qualities, but I just cant handle her abuse & double standards.

What can I do so we are happy together? Or is it a lost cause? :(