~ Miss Naomi ~

I have a 1998 Chevy Lumina, my car would not start. Luckily, this all happened in my driveway and not on the highway! I called AAA last night and he tested my battery and alternator, both were in poor condition (the alternator tested in the yellow, about a 12). Before this happened, I left the car running for 10 minutes to warm up (I live in MN), but 3 hours before, my car was running normal. I explained to a family member about what happened and he said, quote, “that doesn’t make any sense”. I moved to a metropolitan area where I do not know anybody personally who can even help me to repair my car. Also, too, I’m worried I was taken advantage of by the local auto technician. Could there be another underlying issue that the technician didn’t even want to take the time to diagnose, such as maybe tightening the alternator belt or just charging the battery altogether? Before this happened, none of my indicator lights came on, such as the battery light or service engine light. Thanks for the help!

So, I'm not from Oklahoma but I'm watching this severe weather outbreak online (5/19/2010) and what is with the bike/clown-like horn when watching Gary England.. are those alerts for his weather team? Just wondering. I find it quite unique. Thanks!

Unfortunately, last night for 2 hours I battled with the (phony) Antivirus Soft program. Luckily, I logged on with the Safe Mode Networking, and tweaked my internet options tab. My question is, what's a good anti-viral program to download? I had AVG, and thinking about downloading it again. In addition, is Malwarebytes a legit software program? Thanks for the help! :)

I am eligible for an upgrade from Verizon Wireless, with $50 off a new phone and a $100 mail-in rebate, and the phone I am eyeing at is the Blackberry Tour. I was just wondering what the pro(s) & con(s) are, if any, of ordering a new phone online and in-store. I feel with in-store, it'll cost you a bit more, due to sales tax (I live in Minnesota), and other fees. This is my first time being able to use my upgrade, and I am buying it for myself as a 25th birthday present - doesn't hurt to spoil yourself, right? At any rate, any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks!

(I am opting more for ordering online).

Yes, it sounds silly! However, maybe there is a reliable and detailed answer/theory for it. Just to give you a brief description: I am 25 years old, and honestly I have not had a ''vibrant'' sex life - EVER. I lost my virginity at 17, and at the time, after the breakup I did not have sex for 5 years. I am in FWB type of relationship now (I had sex 5 days ago), and I feel like ending that - yet it was a mutual decision between the two of us. There have been times where I have not masturbated for up to 4 months at a time. I have heard the ''best'' sex happens in your 20s, as I don't know if that's a legit statement. I guess my question is, could I have a problem to where I feel very uncomfortable with sex/intimacy? I don't feel sexy, beautiful, or desirable. I am to the point where I have settled and not being surprised to where I become celibate again, let alone longer than 5 years. I have learned to accept that fact, but it's kind of weird at the same time. I have also accepted the fact, though not surprising, that I won't be a mother, be a girlfriend/wife, etc. Any help would be appreciated.

Yes, it sounds like a dumb question! However, maybe there is a reliable and detailed answer for it. Just to give you a brief description: I am 25 years old, and honestly I have not had a ''vibrant'' sex life - EVER. I lost my virginity at 17, and at the time, after the breakup I did not have sex for 5 years. I am in FWB type of relationship now (I had sex 5 days ago), and I feel like ending that - yet it was a mutual decision between the two of us. There have been times where I have not masturbated for up to 4 months at a time. I have heard the ''best'' sex happens in your 20s, as I don't know if that's a legit statement. I guess my question is, could I have a problem to where I feel very uncomfortable with sex/intimacy? I don't feel sexy or beautiful. I am to the point where I have settled and not being surprised to where I become celibate again, let alone longer than 5 years. I have learned to accept that fact, but it's kind of weird at the same time. Any help would be appreciated.

I'm a 24 year old black woman, and when it comes to hair... I am completely clueless, when it comes to using the (right?) shampoo, conditioners, relaxers, and the like. It's to the point where my co-workers tease about my inexperience, and that is just mean. I haven't used a relaxer since June of this year (I had assistance -- afraid of doing it myself), and I am contemplating if I should relax my hair again or go natural? Also, what is the ideal shampoo/conditoner to use? What do you women feel is best all-around for black women hair? I feel in my opinion with using extensions and relaxers in the past, it has damaged my hair, even maintaining it the best I can. Thus, not to have extensions again.

Thanks.

I found a small studio apartment that I fell in love with, $475/mo. I have been doing my finances and I have $1800 monthly income. I work two jobs: one full-time (40 hrs/wk) and one part-time (20 hrs/wk). With this studio apartment, the only utility I would pay for is electricity. I plan on getting cable/internet too and average price is $100/month. The other bill I pay for is my cellphone which is $60/month. I know times are tough, and most are struggling. I feel as if I can afford it. Anyone else agree?

Can certain people have long effects of rejection, such as a mental health issue? I think mine goes all the way back to when I was adopted…. I kept thinking, why did my biological mother put me up? Was I a mistake? 24 years later, I still feel as if I am rejected by the mom I have now, and from friends and even dating as well. With friends, I have hard time expressing myself, hence I bottle up my emotions, and trying to explain to friends, it seems they don’t care, like it’s a bothersome to help a friend out. All they say, “aww, I’m sorry… that sucks”. (I miss having in-depth conversations/analysis with friends in order to solve problems and make solutions). With dating, I’ve always been the single one, I even took risks and told men whom I was interested in, only to turn me down and say such as, “let’s remain friends”, or ‘’I am not that into you”. .. making me feel as if I have to re-evaluate and overanalyze on my individuality. Am I weird for feeling this way? Overall, I get anxious in certain situations and I get irritable and upset. Are there solutions to curb this feeling? I want to be carefree again.

A friend of mine is trying to sale her iPod Touch and she said, ''for any price, I want it gone". Being the honest person that I am, I will tell her I would pay for half of what she paid. Is that fair? I am just trying to do business fairly.

.. in a negative way? This sounds like a weird question, but it got me thinking. I am a happy & carefree person who enjoys laughing. I have had compliments from co-workers on my personality, and how my laughter makes them smile. However, my boss assumes my happiness affects my work performance. I do not understand, I am punctual, and get my projects complete in a timely manner. Again, my question... is this really an issue at work? Do I need to tone down my personality and save it for outside of work?

If you have had this similar experience, feel free to explain.

Does having a sarcastic sense of humor, mean you have an attitude? It's not my intention to hurt my friends.

as being.... "too white", "too black", "too asian", etc.? And why is this going on in our messed up society?

I am a lovely and intelligent black woman. Most of my life (I was raised in northern MN), especially in middle/high school, I was told I am "too white"... "I am not black", I talk white. You listen to rock: you are white. You shop there... you dress white. Why? Just because I received good grades, let alone, enjoy learning new things and having an eclectic personality.... it makes me too white? I was wondering if anyone has experienced this similar incident. Though, I am 24... I still get silly comments from other people. I don't consider these particular comments racist, but more like ignorant and asinine. It doesn't bother me... however, I am proud of who I am and I would not trade it for anything.

I am almost 24, and I do understand society at times (and probably never will). For example, why are some people perhaps get ‘’wound up” about becoming engaged, married, and having children? In addition, why is it such a big deal to ‘’shop’’ for engagement rings, cars, house, etc… is it a feeling of being independent, perhaps MORE independent and successful than others? I don’t get it.

I have been a victim of identity theft (forgery) thanks in part to my mother. She used checks (estimated between $3000 and $5000 worth) from a closed checking account I had three years ago, and she used the checks for miscallaneous things across North Dakota & Minnesota. I confronted her about this and she acts nonchalant about it. Now, I have random bill collectors abuse my phone daily... and now I have to do the restitution process on something I did not even do. Of course, she refuses to take responsibility. In addition, I recieved a summons from a local county in MN that I have to appear in court on Monday, February 9 (I live 3 hours away) - as a result, I have to miss work (I'm afraid I'm going to get fired). My question is how to prove to the judge I was not responsible for this crime? I understand issuing/writing a worthless check is a gross misdemeanor, now I am so worried it will be on my records permanently which would result me in not being hired at future employers or perhaps hindering me going back to school. I feel so betrayed and hurt, you dont even know. My mom does not care about me and it's like she is enjoying this pain she has gave me. This pain is way too much. Identity theft is such a huge problem in our society, and we always think it would not happen to us. Maybe I thought I was invincible, but then again... I would never think my mom would steal or harm her own child this way.

This is a dumb question, however I am new to having a landlord. But, my question is when you give the landlord a check, do you expect him or her to put into the bank right away, or months later? Because I wrote out a check for the month (Oct.), and noticed weeks later, it finally went through my account, resulting in me getting a huge overdraft. I know I need to have money to eat and get gas for transportation (esp. for my two jobs) so I can't keep ''waiting'' around for the check to go through my account. Plus, recently I tried to give her rent for Nov. but she never answers the door when I drop it off.

So... do I need to find a new landlord or what? Also, when I moved in September, she was going to create a lease. I have not seen one yet.

Why oh why....

He says he doesn't date... he is accustomed to being alone and set in his ways. So why everytime we talk, he asks, "are you seeing somebody... any new guy in your life?". I'm not obviously.

If he doesn't want to date me... then why wonder about it? He knows that I like him a lot, but he will not take a risk and give me a chance.

Jeez, am I that bad of a person or what?!

I was just wondering if there is a specific 'amount' you need in order for Wells Fargo to put your cash (i.e. paycheck) into your account the same day? My check will be over $750. If so, how long does it take to be placed in your account?

And also... why does it take so long for direct deposit to go in effect at a new employer you were just hired at?

Okay, I am pretty sure I will get various amounts of index fingers pointing at me while they have a *LOL* moment. My question is... what is the right oil to purchase for a 1998 Chevy Lumina and a place such as Wal-Mart would sell good (affordable) oil? Yes, I am doing the oil change MYSELF on account I have heard (not so good) different stories about popular chains using the wrong oil - resulting in possible engine damage - and overpricing customers. Plus, it will be CHEAPER on my part.

My Verizon has recently been completed. What is the process of renewel: do I have to go to the store, do it online, call their 1-800 number? As of June 22, my last billing cycle on the contract was complete too. So my guess is I have to pay my plan (which was about $45/month).. along with the renewel, plus a new phone... which will total about $200. That's a lot of money!

Please help on account this is my first time renewing a contract, especially with Verizon...