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My partner has developed a habit of driving with no hands on the wheel. He will sit in a moving car with his arms folded across his chest. I've told him that it makes me nervous when he doesn't at least keep one hand on the wheel. My father died in a car accident, so I know how dangerous driving can be. Still he has ignored my wishes. Two weeks ago, we were going out to dinner and he was driving. No hands on the wheel. I told him to pull over and I wound up walking home 4 miles. Things haven't been the same between us since that episode. I do not understand why driving with no hands is such a thing he has to do. I'm at the point where I cannot trust him to drive us anywhere. He may not care about staying alive, but I do.

Am I making a mountain of a molehill? I know cars are safer these days but still one must steer the car, not sit like you're in your living room.

Am I wrong or right? What's to be done?

I have this woman at work who, makes a point daily of walking from her cubicle two rows away, to my area where I'm seated. She either slaps me on the arm or finds an excuse to straighten my shirt collars. I know she's being friendly and she's knowledgeable on the job. The thing is I do not like being touched by strangers. As a man, I know I must keep my hands to myself on the job; why can't others?

How do I tell this woman I do not welcome her pawing me without causing a scene at work or hurting her feelings? I tend to be blunt. I have been biting my tongue for a week but silence can be taken for acceptance.

Any ideas?

I have a friend, a 51 yr old gay man who I suspect is addicted to sex. He has set up a sex dungeon, complete with sling and mirrors on the walls and ceiling, in his garage. I have seen at least three different dildoes of all sizes, tubes of personal lubricant and poppers; in short he's made himself a sex kit in a gym carry-all. My friend X continually trolls the Internet on gay sex sites for anonymous sex hookups. One of these sites is a bareback site. To my question if he's concerned about catching anything, his response was he's already had everything.

Just this week alone he's had anonymous sex with six men (and it's only Wednesday!) He boasted today that he had a hookup during his lunch break. He doesn't take care of himself. He doesn't eat well. He doesn't do anything conventional because his online trolling takes up all his waking free time.

I know all this first hand because, for the past two months, I've rented a room in his house. My friend has turned his home into a free gay bathhouse. I can't think of many mornings when I've woken not to find some strange car in the driveway and some strange naked man unconscious in the dungeon or pulling on his clothes to leave.

I'm forced to stay in this environment for the time being because I had lost my job and my apartment building is to be torn down. My friend is kind enough to allow me to rent a room. Yet I can't help but wonder at the risk he's taking with his personal safety and, now, mine. Gay men are horrible gossips. My friend told me he overheard someone he didn't know describing my friend's house to a T. My friend's antics have gotten his house the reputation as party central for gay sex and meth.

Since I have to live here for the next few months until I get back on my feet, I've tried to turn a blind eye to all the goings and comings (in every sense of the word). Yet today, I have reached the limit of my tolerance. My friend is a sex addict. He won't stop until he's dead, I fear.

Should I try to say anything to him about his sexual mania? Truth is I wouldn't know where to begin. Or should I just keep my mouth shut and pray for the day when I can escape this dysfunctional environment?

I am forced to rent a room in a friend's house. My friend and I are both gay. The house is 1,060 sq ft. This friend has what seems like a co-dependent relationship with his ex. They have been living apart for nearly 2 years now.

The problem is this ex swoops into town on a whim and brings FOUR dogs with him -- two adult boxers, one Shepherd mix, and a Chihuahua. This is in addition to my friends Boston Terrier; a total of FIVE DOGS and three adults in a 1,060 sq ft house. The stink from that many dogs is overpowering!

As I write, my friend is codependent on his ex. He complains about the ex, admits the ex uses him. The ex never leaves my friend's house without things going missing. The ex is on public assistance (because he doesn't seem to have any regular job). He comes to the house and eats, rearranges the kitchen, and helps himself to whatever he finds in the fridge. On a previous visit, I had to stop this freeloader from taking four cans of Coke when he eventually packed up to leave. It never seems to occur to the ex that he DOES NOT LIVE HERE.

My friend who owns the house, seems to lose all willpower in this freeloader's presence. These two seem to contrive reasons to remain in each other's lives. This past weekend, the ex arrived with four dogs in tow. I've been confined to my bedroom because I think the house is too small and I'm not used to living around so many dogs, not to mention the germs.

When I rented the room, I was under the impression the small house would hold only me, my friend, and his one dog. This ex has been here for two LONG nights now. My dilemma is it's my friend's house and I know he can have here who he wants yet this ex is wearing out his welcome -- with me, at least.

Should I ask my friend when the freeloading ex and his menagerie will be leaving, or should I suck it up as it's not my house?

I am forced to rent a room in a friend's house. My friend and I are both gay. The house is 1,060 sq ft. This friend has what seems like a co-dependent relationship with his ex. They have been living apart for nearly 2 years now.

The problem is this ex swoops into town on a whim and brings FOUR dogs with him -- two adult boxers, one Shepherd mix, and a Chihuahua. This is in addition to my friends Boston Terrier; a total of FIVE DOGS and three adults in a 1,060 sq ft house. The stink from that many dogs is overpowering!

As I write, my friend is codependent on his ex. He complains about the ex, admits the ex uses him. The ex is on public assistance (because he doesn't seem to have any regular job). He comes to the house and eats, rearranges the kitchen, and helps himself to whatever he finds in the fridge. On a previous visit, I had to stop this freeloader from taking four cans of Coke when he eventually packed up to leave. It never seems to occur to the ex that he DOES NOT LIVE HERE.

My friend who owns the house, seems to lose all willpower in this freeloader's presence. These two seem to contrive reasons to remain in each other's lives. This past weekend, the ex arrived with four dogs in tow. I've been confined to my bedroom because I think the house is too small and I'm not used to living around so many dogs, not to mention the germs.

When I rented the room, I was under the impression the small house would hold only me, my friend, and his one dog. This ex has been here for two LONG nights now. My dilemma is it's my friend's house and I know he can have here who he wants yet this ex is wearing out his welcome -- with me, at least.

Should I ask my friend when the freeloading ex and his menagerie will be leaving, or should I suck it up as it's not my house?

I've recently dipped my toes back into the cyber dating pond. Many profiles state that while they are looking for "something serious," "an LTR," or "someone to date," these same profiles still state they are willing to play around or to have fun until Mr. Right comes along. If you're busy screwing around, Mr. Right may not approach or may not be noticed among the other naked bodies.

It seems like these gay men are trying to cover all bases so they won't appear whorish (but they will act like whores). It just seems to waste everyone's time.

Can anybody tell me why gay men give such mixed messages?

I met my ex on a dating site about a year ago. We live in different states, so it would have been a long-distance relationship to begin but we had talked about my relocating so we could be together. We are the same age, 53 yrs old, we have similar interests in the arts and tastes in books and music. We find each other physically attractive so sex would be no problem.

The problem is temperament. I tend to be objective when a problem arises. I try to look at it without adding a lot of emotional baggage, which only makes a situation appear worse than it might actually be. My ex is the opposite. He magnifies any argument into a lifelong pattern that will never change. He thinks he can predict the future as to whether or not we will be happy or not.

The biggest insult is that he now declares he's "scared" of me. Bear in mind, we've done nothing more than have a few disagreements and misunderstandings. Nobody has thrown a punch or threatened anyone. I think my intelligence makes him nervous because he can't deceive me the way he might have done with past lovers. He finds me attractive, but he also suspects I will cheat on him, though I've given no reason to think this.

I don't fall in love easily, so when I do, I must take notice of my feelings and be brave enough to try as much as I can to build a foundation for love that lasts. However, do you believe there would ever be a change where this fraidy cat would get over his fears (because his being scared is all about him and has little to do with me) and allow us to continue to get to know each other?

I'm concerned that even if we reconcile or just start talking again, he will be on a hair trigger to bolt and run again.

I met my ex on a dating site about a year ago. We live in different states, so it would have been a long-distance relationship to begin but we had talked about my relocating so we could be together. We are the same age, we have similar interests in the arts and tastes in books and music. We find each other physically attractive so sex would be no problem.

The problem is temperament. I tend to be objective when a problem arises. I try to look at it without adding a lot of emotional baggage, which only makes a situation appear worse than it might actually be. My ex is the opposite. He magnifies any argument into a lifelong pattern that will never change. He thinks he can predict the future as to whether or not we will be happy or not.

The biggest insult is that he now declares he's "scared" of me. Bear in mind, we've done nothing more than have a few disagreements and misunderstandings. Nobody has thrown a punch or threatened anyone. I think my intelligence makes him nervous because he can't deceive me the way he might have done with past lovers. He finds me attractive, but he also suspects I will cheat on him, though I've given no reason to think this.

I don't fall in love easily, so when I do, I must take notice of my feelings and be brave enough to try as much as I can. However, do you believe there would ever be a change where this fraidy cat would get over his fears (because his being scared is all about him and has little to do with me) and allow us to continue to get to know each other?

I have a friend who is constantly on the go, always multi-tasking. She never phones me on her mobile phone without a clear indication from background noise or breaking into our conversation to ask for more cheese on her burger or offering her credit card to make a shopping purchase that she's only partly listening to what we're talking about. It gets old to think I never have this woman's attention. I always feel like I'm competing with whatever else she has going on in her life. Recently, I had a crisis and called her to talk it over (she's often turned to me and I have given her my full attention). Yet no sooner was I laying out my issues when she broke into my conversation because she was in line at Taco Bell. I snapped. I told her I would talk to her when she wasn't trying to eat.

Was I wrong in getting fed up with taking a back seat to her busyness? I know most people have mobile phones and do persist in answering them when they probably shouldn't.

I Googled a man I've just begun to know. So far, he's told me he used to be a priest and has lived throughout the world. Well, he didn't tell me that when he was a priest, he was charged with sex with minors and with young boys with low IQs. There was no official trial; the Catholic Church paid a settlement, the priest was reassigned back to the United States, and the matter was hushed up. Turns out this priest didn't voluntarily leave the priesthood. As part of the settlement, he was defrocked. The articles on the Internet also imply the ex-priest has had issues with sex and alcohol abuse. My question is should I confront him about these skeletons in his past? Should I act as if I know nothing? I mean, without a trial, he hasn't had to register as a sex offender, so in his eyes it's as if nothing happened. I don't know if I can continue to date a man with such a predatory background. Should I drop him without a word, or should I confront him?

I have recently met a man who professed to like me, which is flattering. On our second date and after a few phone conversations, I've discovered he was drunk when we met. I know little of drunks, so I was amazed that he didn't show any of the usual signs of drunkenness -- slurred speech, unsteady on his feet, and so on. He has admitted he drinks too much, has drank up to 30 MARTINIS (could he be exaggerating?). Tequila, he says, makes want to fight, to pick fights. He describes himself as an "asshole" sometimes. He also admitted he DIDN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING HE'D SAID WHEN WE'D MET! I've always read and heard that memory loss, personality changes, and such are the signs of alcoholism. Can anybody tell me if they agree with these signs? I can't ignore these damaging things because this man is voluntarily telling me some of the worst things about himself. And let's not forget if he was drunk when we met, he also was drunk driving to get from one place to another. Is this guy bad news all around?