Alicia

Recently divorced, he moved out June 1. I asked for child support starting September because I know he doesn't make much over the summer. He didn't pay anything in September, didn't pay anything October 1. He payed half of what he would owe for one month when I saw him today. He asked if he could just pay a little each week until he is payed up. I told him I can't tell him that it isn't okay for him not to do what his court order says to do. So then he says he won't see our daughter for over a month because he will be too busy working to get my money. (Because he can work as little or much as he want, more work equals more money, it is all up to him.) So now I feel like the bad guy because I won't tell him that it's okay for him not to pay on time? I mean, I told him that he is going to pay what he is going to pay, but seriously, I low balled everything when filled out the paperwork for child support. The amount he has to pay is a joke and he had from June 1 to September 1 to save up about $300 and he didn't do it. I did notice all the new clothes he's been wearing lately.

So my question is: How do you deal with child support payments and still keep things civil?

My parents and husband have never shown interest in spending alone time with my daughter. They always invite us together. When she was little, I didn't have much interest in her being away from me. It was very important to me that she could nurse when she wanted. Now she is four and a half. My husband has never spent more than a couple hours alone with her and on rare occasion. My mom has only spent alone time with her a couple of times. She says she wants to be the fun exciting grandma who takes her to do fun things, but she doesn't want to do the work. She has offered to help if I get sick, but the couple times I've asked, she said she was busy or tired. My dad is genuinely busy, but has offered to help, but half the time has gotten caught up in his own schedule and accidently makes appointments for other things. All this time, no one has offered to help. I've asked a few times and people are busy. What bothers me most is that I want them to WANT to help. I don't understand why no one in my family is interested in spending time with my daughter. She is started to ask me questions about it. SO AT WHAT AGE IS YOUR CHILD WHEN YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS START BABYSITTING FOR YOU AND DO THEY OFFER OR DO YOU HAVE TO ASK?

Someone gave us an old box of hooked on phonics learn to read. The copyright date is 1998. There isn't anything on the box to indicate a grade level. Hooked on phonics sells a whole bunch of different grade level learning to read packages and I don't know which one to buy next. I would also like to know what grade level my child is reading based on having completed the boxes one through five. Box one was letter recognition and letter sounds, mostly three letter words with short vowels. Box two had two consonant blends at the beginning of words. Box three had two consonant blends and the end of words. Box four had long vowel sounds and other vowel blends like "ar" and "ir" and "ow" and "ly" (slowly) and such. Box five has three consonant blends like "spl" and other more complicated combinations like "igh" (night).

A situation has come up in our lives where I am having to defend my decision not to want my child to have screen time. The situation is that at our church there is a plan to put a television in the nursery to be on all the time. Our nursery is primarily used by 0-3 year olds during the whole service, but children aged up through second grade join part way through for a Bible lesson. It has been decided that Veggi Tales will serve as the Bible lesson. There are a variety of reasons for which I find this inappropriate. The solution I have found is to not have my child in that room anymore, but during all this my own personal beliefs about screen time have been called into question. So I'm writing out all my reasons for not wanting my child to have screen time, but I'm also feeling very emotional about all this so I'm asking for a list of all the reasons you know as a way to help me organize. Any and all reasons are welcome, professional sources are great, too. Thanks.

I've noticed several responses from atheists saying that they don't believe in fairy tales as an answer about not believing in God. I'm curious about this analogy. I'm a Christian, but I don't take the Bible literally just in the same way that I might read Aesop's fables. There is a lot of truth in Aesop's fables, but when I read them it never occurs to me that the animals in his story are real and that they really talk to one another. It would be ridiculous to argue that they are, but nonetheless, they are still enjoyable to read and they contain a lot of truths. So my question for atheist who use the fairy tale analogy, why do you see it that way? Do you feel like you have to take the Bible literally or not at all? I'm just curious.

I was wondering if anyone knows of a good book or resource that combines a scientific approach to child development with the spiritual development of a child? Basically, I want to know the different ages and stages of what a child will be able to understand about God and the Bible. Something like how the development of a child's mind affects how they view spirituality. I'm not sure if such a thing exists, but I'm very curious as my daughter has shown a strong interest in church and I want to supplement her spiritual education at home. I want to make sure what we are doing is developmentally appropriate.

By mistake I have added a couple of tabs across the top of my facebook profile that I would like to get rid of, but I'm not sure how to do this. They are "Events" and "Notes." I don't need these and because they are on there, there isn't enough room across the top to display the other tab that I do want to show. Help please? I am fairly new to facebook.

Okay, without making it too much worse, I need a short one line phrase to help keep me positive when I start having negative, angry, bitter resentful feelings towards my husband. I think sometimes my feelings are a little over the top and most of the time they are reasonable, but I would like to not feel them and since I can't count on my husband to change, I was hoping to change my attitude, but I can't think of a mantra. Any suggestions?

The one I use about house cleaning is "I do this with joy" or "I'd be happy to do that." I need something like this.

This is sort of a poll, if you will, for moms who co-sleep long tern with their babies, toddlers, etc. We've always co-slept with our daughter. It used to be out of necessity. We had a small house and didn't have room for a crib let alone her own room. She is two-and-a-half and we just moved into a three bedroom house. We are still co-sleeping as long as she wants, but now she has her "own" room. I say it this way because she picked the color, but she never uses the room and almost nothing of hers is in there. Some of her church dresses are in there in the closet, but she has her own dresser of clothes in the master bed room. At first I thought I should put all her clothes in there so that it would feel like her room and someday it would naturally help ease the transition of moving in there, but I hate walking all the way down the hall every day to dress her. Since the seasons are changing I'm probably going to move her winter stuff in there and keep her summer stuff in my room, but I was wondering what you other moms do. This is just me being curious, I don't need any answers with opinions about co-sleeping. We did a lot of research before my daughter was born and I would have co-slept in the last house even if we had a room that could be just hers. Thanks for reading.

The new commercial for prop 8 (would change California's constitution to eliminate gay marriage) depicts a little girl coming home from school having learned that boys can marry boys and girls can marry girls and she is holding a book about to kings who get married. The commercial made me realize that I have no books for my daughter that depict different kinds of families and I want to teach her tolerance for all kinds of families. Does anyone know any good children's books that show different kinds of families? I would also be interested in any books about a particular family that happens to have two parents of the same sex. Thanks for your recommendations.

Okay, I don't mean to sound like I am whining or anything, but I have been feeling really sad the last couple of days and my husband hasn't been supportive at all. We have a beautiful two-year-old and we weren't particularly planning to have any more kids. Then a couple of weeks ago I had the most overwhelming feelings that I want a baby. Yeah, I know it is probably hormones, but the feelings haven't gone away and I'm starting to feel like I might be ready for a baby. Then my period was late so I really got my hopes up. Then last night I started spotting and this morning it looks like I am getting my period and I am so depressed. I know it was silly to get my hopes up, but I really thought I was pregnant. My husband doesn't want to even talk about trying for another one for at least six months or a year. I keep telling him it takes nine months to grow one. When we had my daughter we weren't completely prepared, but as soon as we saw the two lines on the pregnancy stick we got it together and saved enough money to pay all our bills. This time he wants to save first, but I don't think we will be as motivated without a nine month deadline coming down on us. Every time we talk about it I just wish he would acknowledge my feelings, but instead he just makes me feel stupid for wanting a baby because we don't have much in savings right now. Not that I would do it, but I really feel like going off birth control and not telling him.

My brother is always raving about Lost, but since ABC doesn't come in very well here and I don't have cable or satellite I haven't been able to watch it. Then I started seeing previews on "My Network TV" that they were going to play all the old ones. I saw the first one, and then I haven't been able to see when they are running them. I keep checking the TV listings and it's just no there. What's the deal?

My two year old has been using the toilet since January, but recently she has gotten very particular about toilet cleanliness. It started a few months ago when we were on vacation and stopped at a gas station and it turned out all they had was a port-a-potty. She didn't like that it had someone else's poop in it. Then over the course of three months it has gone from wanting the toilet clean to wanting the entire bathroom spotless. If she finds even anything wrong, she won't want to sit on the toilet. At first we cleaned toilets or found ones that where clean enough when we were out, but now almost nothing satisfies her. When we have no options, I put her on the toilets and she cries so much she almost throws up. I don't know what to do.

We habitually check and spray for wasps, but we missed one on our gate that we never use and my almost two year old closed it and got two wasp stings on her hand. Her hand is swollen and one eye is also swollen (both are her left side). She has been stung once before by a bee. I know they don't have a reaction the first time they are stung, you have to watch the second and third time to see if they are going to have an allergic reaction. I am worried about the swollen eye. She said she didn't get stung there and I can't see a hole like I can on her hands. I don't know how worried I should be. We have benedryl, but our pediatrician said not to use it unless it was really really necessary (whatever that means). She is a little fussy, but it is about to be bed time and I'm not sure I want to put her to sleep for a little while. Any advice please?

My husband things that we have sex an abnormally low number of times per month, but we also have a very needy almost two year old. I think that even though we don't do it as much as he would like, we are probably pretty normal for parents.

Does anyone know of a natural supplement that increases sex drive that is also safe to take while nursing?

My husband of five years is thinking about leaving due to a history of bad sex. Without going into all the details, I never have had much of a sex drive, but I feel like I have made lots improvements. Currently part of the struggle is that I spend so much time caring for our daughter, who is almost two and I don't want to change the way I parent her. We nurse and co-sleep and she likes to sleep touching my skin so sometimes I can't get out of bed to be with my husband. When I do get out of bed she stirs and wakes up after a half an hour or and hour. If she stirs and can feel my skin, she stays asleep. We don't believe in leaving her, so we're kind of at a loss. My husband thinks I use her as an excuse because it's not like things were great before. I've heard a woman's sex drive can be low while nursing, but he thinks things will never change and that he should leave. I don't want him to leave, but I don't know what to do.

My daughter is just starting to want to wear underwear, which is great. My husband and I always argue about how many of things we should buy. He says I always think I need more than we do and he doesn't want to spend the money. How many pairs of underwear is reasonable for a toddler to have? I do laundry almost every day, but I don't want to have to do it every day to always have underwear. Some days she has no accidents and some days she has two or three.

I am looking for small underwear for my almost 2-year-old (this is totally her idea, not mine). We live in a small town so the best I can find are size 4T. She loves them and she wears them all over the place, but they are huge on them. I've tried looking online. I can see from the package they came in that they make underwear in smaller sizes, but I can't seem to find them anywhere. Does anyone know of a website? I've heard that there are elimination communication websites that sell small underwear.

My daughter loves dolls and keeps asking me for a stroller to put them in. We live down a long gravel driveway and I'm worried that a cheap plastic one will get wrecked. Does anyone know of a good sturdy stroller? I don't mind paying a little extra for something that is going to last.