smeghead

for me Jailbreak by Thin Lizzy always makes me smile with these couple of lines

"Tonight there's going to be a jailbreak

Somewhere in this town"

now someone correct me here if I'm missing something but surely if there's going to be a jailbreak the first place I'd think of would be the jail......"somewhere in this town"??? yea the jail durrr

was bragging to me that he was making out with his g/f and her twin

i asked how he could tell them apart he replied

easy her brother has a moustache!!

i'm blasting out sink or swim by the gaslight anthem :-)

any ideas who i can go as?

in a Jamaican accent without it sounding like beer can?

the doc says "you're going to have to stop masturbating"

"why" says the guy

"because i'm trying to examine you!"

i got home work yesterday and found my neighbour had built a 20 foot fence between our gardens.............i can't get over it

when she answers it there's stood her son, johnny with mrs jones she says" mrs smith i just caught your johnny playing doctors and nurses with my daughter mary"

"oh come on all 10yr olds start to get curious about s, e, x"

" sex? no he's just taken out Mary's appendix

can you think of any similar bands i coulld try? hanx

use their emoticons on here?

play yahoo games and if yes what's your favourite and how good are you and would you like to challenge anyone on here to a game of your choice?

i'm just wondering because i put one in last night and it was dead this morning... ;-D

if i asked you to dance?

Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side 'When

I married your mother, the first thing I did when we got home was

take off my trousers,' he said. 'I gave them to your mother and told

her to put them on. When she did, they were enormous on her and she

said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too

large. 'I told her, 'of course they're too big. I wear the trousers in

this family and I always will.' Ever since that day, we have never had

a single problem.'

Jack took his father's advice and as soon as he got

Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing; took off his

trousers, gave them to Jill and told her to put them on. Jill said

that the trousers were too big and she couldn't possibly wear them.

'Exactly,' replied Jack. 'I wear the trousers in this relationship and

I always will. I don't want you to forget that.' Jill paused and

removed her knickers and gave them to Jack. 'Try these on,' she said,

so he tried them on but they were too small. 'I can't possibly get

into your knickers,' said Jack. 'Exactly,' replied Jill. 'And if you

don't change your f *** ing attitude, you never will.'

anyone?

i think it's off 'within a mile of home'

nonsense man i've had 20 yrs experience i'm a professional i wouldn't laugh....so what's the problem

'well doc one of my testicles is bigger than the other one'

the doc coughs to hide alaugh...ok let's see it then

so the guy drops his trousers and reaches into his undies and starts to bring out this testicle practically the size of a football, well the doctor can't help himself and lets out a huge laugh

RIGHT said the guy I'M NOT SHOWING YOU THE BIG ONE FOR LAUGHING