Lone Wolf

I've often heard people say that when it comes to finding a life partner /soul mate or whatever you call it, there's no need to go out actively seeking it because "it tends to happen when you're NOT looking." I think there might be a lot of truth to that. I know that was certainly the case with two previous relationships of mine (of significant length). The first time, I met her while I was just about to go into my last year of high school. It was during the summer and I was taking a three week environmental science course. I liked the students I was working with, but I was so involved in the work (as were we all) that hooking up just wasn't on my mind. And yet it happened. We were together just over a year. My more recent partner I met online, though not on a dating website, but a child-free community website. She lived a few hours drive away from me, so it was a long distance thing. But we managed to stay together for three years. But in both of those instances, I was single but not actively looking for anyone. And yet it happened. That's not to say that I don't think it's possible to find if you ARE looking, since plenty of people have done that too. But do you think there's a lot of truth to the claim that it tends to happen when you're not looking? Has this been anyone else's experience as well?

This one's for both feminists anti-feminists, though I suspect the answers of both to be quite different.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/10/07101...

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"Contrary to popular opinion, feminism and romance are not incompatible and feminism may actually improve the quality of heterosexual relationships, according to Laurie Rudman and Julie Phelan, from Rutgers University in the US."

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So are you surprised?

This a test designed to measure someone's feminist beliefs, or lack thereof. I took it and I thought it was pretty decent. I scored 77% - the "basic feminist" category.

What do the rest of you think of it? It's a quick test and won't take long if you decide to take it:

http://www.okcupid.com/quizzy/take?id=123632189506...

A local birth control clinic (a Canadian affiliate of Planned Parenthood) is currently looking for contraception counselling clinic support volunteers for the new year. I have never volunteered for an organization like this before, but I would definitely be interested but I'm not really sure what to expect. What do they look for in volunteers? What do they typically do? What sort of training do they give? Anyone here who has volunteered or worked for PP or any similar bc clilnic or knows someone who has, any help or information you could offer would be appreciated.

little while ago there was a question here about whether men should have any say as to whether or not she has an abortion or keeps the baby. I wrote out an answer, but subsequently deleted it because the original question generated answers which left me with a few questions of my own.

For the record, my answer to the orignal question was the same as many of yours:

No, he should have no say as to whether or not the woman has an abortion. Certainly he can have an opinion and express his wishes, but ultimately the final decision is hers to make.

BUT...suppose the scenario is one where the woman wants the baby and he doesn't. Should he be made to pay child support for the next eighteen years? Some people would say no he shouldn't be made to. This is the position I've always had myself

because I thought it made perfect sense and it just seemed logical to me that if he didn't want the child, then he shouldn't have to pay. But then there are those who argue that if

that were the case, any man could just say he didn't want the child just so he could get out of paying. And I have to concede there's some merit to that argument as well. However it's not so much the fact that men are obligated to pay child support that bothers me, it's the fact that they can be thrown in jail for

*not* paying that doesn't sit well with me. Now let me just say if a man is perfectly capable of paying child support but chooses not to, then I have no problems with him suffering any consequences for it.

But what about men who are honestly unable to pay ie; mostly men from poor/lower income brackets or who for one reason or another get into financial difficulties and genuinely can't pay child support (even only temporarily)? This is where I'll

admit I'm ignorant about child support laws and I'm sure it shows to those of you more knowledgagble. Hopefully some

of you can help me out

So my question is...do child support laws make any distinction between men who can't pay and men who just choose not to? Does the term "deadbeat dads" encompass both? Because that doesn't strike me as fair and it's the major reason why I'm against forced child support.

But I may well change my stance on this issue depending on the answers I get.

I'm sure most people here have known, or at least of heard of women who say they prefer the company of guys over other women --ie; they say things like "I find other women to be catty and backstabbing, so that's why I prefer the company of guys...I can just be myself" etc.

Well I hate to admit it, but I have similar views about other guys.

I don't know what it is, but I've always prefered the company of women...I just talk more easily and naturally with them. The ones I know really seem to listen and understand me. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that a lot of my work and volunteering means I'm around more of them and more often. I'm not saying there are no guys like this, but I don't know any really. (and there are also plenty of women I don't like) And to be honest, I'm pretty wary of other guys and don't trust them, and I don't bond with them in the "typical" ways...sports, cars, etc. This worries me because someone once said that anyone who says they prefer the company of the opposite sex has issues and has never learned to develop healthy friendships with people of the same sex, and I have to admit there might be some truth to what she said.

The only good thing I can say about this is that I have no ulterior motives toward those women I get along with

It seems to me that there are few if any message boards where gender issues can be discussed in a constructive way. The ones that I have seen usually don't last as they eventually become overrun by MRA's, misogynists, and all other manner of trolls and troublemakers. This problem is so pervasive that I'm going to start an online forum of my own, one that deals primarily with global issues, social justice and environmental issues, but I also plan on having a section dealing exclusively with issues offeminism/gender as well as those of GLBT. (I am going to make it so it can't be found through search engines and am going to rely on word of mouth to let people know about it)

Has this been anyone else's experience as well?