silly me

My boyfriend of 3 years has invited me to a wedding as his date, he'll be a groomsman. His best mate is getting married in March, I'm friends with the bride & groom. The thing is: I dont get along with the bridesmaids, the bridesmaid walking down the isle with my bf basically tried to break us up before. I stay away from bf's friends coz of this girl.

Now I never actually received an invitation, so not sure if its a great idea going. I dont want to put a damper on the day but if bf is groomsman it means I'll be going to the church & sitting at the reception alone with random strangers. BF also told me the bridal party will be staying at the hotel for 2 nights, again I'm not part of the bridal party, so do I have to be alone for all of it? Ok I know I'll need to get a dress etc for this if I go, but usually if my bf's mates are around, I'm basically ignored so should I even bother going? I feel left out all the time with bf's friends, and now to endure a day of it or 2 just seems so pointless. Every time bf speaks about the wedding and what he'll be doing, its like he's saying he wants me there but be prepared to be alone 99% of the time. Oh the bridesmaid is an ex - feel very uncomfortable about the whole thing.

Hey

Ok lil worried, as I think I might be pregnant. Me & my boyfriend havent used protection and accidents happen (he's cathlic - so doesnt belive in contraception - I'm also not on any pills etc). I've been getting headaches in the mornings, constant nausia, my bladder just wont stop, some cramps here and there, sore breasts. I'm extreamly emotional, very unlike me to be in bad moods every few minutes. I'm eating loads, cerial which I never used to have. Bit concerned. Its been 3 weeks since my last period, can I be mixing up pregancy with pms?

Any advice would be good. I@ve also been under lots of stress recently & think it can be a reaction. Dont really get food cravings, lower back hurts every now and then, tummy so squeemish.

To avoid any issues I've stopped drinking, not sure if it makes a difference. Never been pregnant before so no idea what the symptoms are and there seems to be such controversial opinions. Any one gone through this before???

Ok I'll start at the beginning and that way it'll make sense:

I started at a new firm and made friends with the girls there, one in particular. Lets call her H, anyways me & H got along really well and she told me about this dude at work she's bessotted with, they always end up together when drunk but he never asked her out. Anyways she would often talk about him and waited for him to ask her out but he never did.

Fast forward a few months I went to the work christmas party, and getting to know everyone I ended up chatting to this one dude, I immediately took a shining to him, he's a really nice guy and we just clicked. H came up to me after a few hours and told me that I look very cozy talking to him - did I know thats the guy she's been talking about. The one she's in love with? I was totally shocked and seeing as though she really wanted to be with him I did the civil thing and backed off. He figured out what was going on and had a row with her as he told her that he wasnt interested. After that night things changed between me & H. She became really nasty and started ignoring me. I was quite hurt that she'd think I'd risk our friendship over a guy. The next thing I got a facebook invite from the dude & we started talking. He told me that although she went back to his place nothing happened (she also confirmed this) and he told her that he just wants to be friends. He asked me out and I said no. Still wanting to save my friendship with her. She saw he added me as a friend and that was it, she just turned evil. Anyways our friendship never was the same since the xmas party. She takes her moods out on me & has gotten a few of the girls to back her up. I'm officially the outsider.

Fast forward a few months and out of anger I said yes to the dude asking me out again. Despite warnings I decided to see what he was like for myself. We got along great, we really suit each other and are deeply in love. We're very close but word has gotten out and everyone at work knows. From this I've noticed that there have been changes. My friends have changed and I'm starting to feel left out from everything. I have 3 friends that I usually chat to but H and the girls she hangs out with (one that works close with me) really make a point of not talking to me.

I know H knows but she hasnt said anything and I'm terrified of actually telling her myself. I miss being friends with her but she's been like this with me for months. I gave her ample time to ask him out but she didnt. We have 2 work events to go to and they're going to be there, my boyfriend & myself will be there to as we're in the same company. I'm really worried that I'll be shunned completely. What can I do? Should I say something to her, I dont want to risk destroying my relationship over this.

I need advice, at the moment I’m really torn.

I met a wonderful guy, we dated, he moved in with me and we got engaged. Things were going so well and then it changed. He cut himself off from friends and family and got into a depressed mode. I encouraged him to go out (in the city where he’s from as we lived in the country side) he went out and after that he started drinking heavily. Within 2 weeks he decided he needed to move back to his parents & wanted to work on himself as he’s not happy & we broke up. I was shocked and very upset, he wants space & no contact, he deleted me from fb, closed his bebo account etc.

His sisters were in contact with me but after being deleted & told them I cant be friends right now that I need to move on and get on with my own life. It hurts too much and deleted all of them . He left some odds and ends at my place & I’ve done the packing for him, I asked him repeatedly to take his stuff but he wasn’t interested. Now that I’ve started the no contact rule, he cant see what I’m up to, nor his family & friends.

He told me if I wasn’t ready to see him when he contacted me that it was ok and to let him know when i’m ready. He’s moving into a new place this week, alone for the first time. I got a text yesterday from him “hey how are ya? Can we meet sometime next week & I’ll get my stuff” I haven’t replied as I know I’m not ready. I’ve just started the no contact rule again, and I really don’t want his stuff but none of my mates will take it to him, they say its something I need to do when I’m ready. Has he contacted me coz he wants to see me or is he over it & wants to get on with his life? I’m torn coz I still love him, we’ve been apart for a month not seeing each other. Is there a chance he misses me & now that his family cant spy on me that he’s concerned? He’s always lived with his family till he met me, and now he’s starting life alone by moving – they kicked him out. Does this mean anything? I’ve kept myself busy doing different things & have too much going on to meet up and I don’t really want to cart his stuff around to suit him. I’ve left it and not replied to his message. Why did he leave stuff if he never intended in coming back? Is this an excuse to see me & figure out what he wants? He said he cant be in a relationship right now, he said he still loves me and hopes we’ll get back together but his actions are the opposite. I’m torn! Please help.

Ok so we dated for a 7 months, I fell in love with him and we got engaged. Things were going so well. We were really happy, then something happened with him, he began drinking again, crying in the room, on the train and I knew he was depressed. He never spoke about it - I tried to help but was constantly rejected. Eventually he broke it off and moved out, saying its him & not me. He cant be in a relationship. I was gutted. I knew living with my parents made things difficult but got him the dog he always wanted.

Its been a month and he's been living with his parents on the sofa, he's drinking heavely and really in a horrible situation as they've told him to leave - its as bad as his mum is looking for places for him & the dog. He's put his other pets up for sale and it doesn't sound good. He's freaking out and on facebook yesterday I told him that things will be ok, that its tough in the beginning but why is he so suprised? There isn't place for him at his folks. His brother is avoiding him (wont let him stay with them) and well I'm really starting to feel bad coz I closed that door for coming back. Then I realised that yes there are feelings there and I'd be willing to take him back, I sent his mum a txt saying I'm worried about him & that none of us think badly of him. We'd be willing to give him another chance.

I've met so many guys but none compare to him. I wish there were something I can do. He complained that the house is too far from the city (45 min commute) but accommodation is hard to find with a dog & he cant really afford much else. I rang him but surprise, no answer, sent a txt saying it'll be nice to chat when he wants to. ERRRR I'm frustrated, I want to help & want my relationship back, I want him back but think I've done the wrong thing with txtn his mum. What should I be doing? I've gotten stronger (and dont cry anymore) I'm back to being happy and meeting different men. Though I do believe in 2nd chances - eventhough I said the door was closed. What to do?

Hi all

Ok so there is this guy I've seen on the train for the past 2 years, during this time we've basically stared at each other. I've gotten out of my last relationship and am back to single. So anyways the train dude still stares. I really like him, ever since I saw him I've wanted to talk to him.

So I made a bold move and went to talk to him. I finally got his name & we had a really good general chat. We didnt exchange numbers, as I had to make a mad dash for the door when I almost missed my stop. He's such a nice guy, but painfully shy. He has the nicest smile, raised eyebrows and flashed a smile, we were giggling like mad. I've never really put myself out there before but he seems worth it. I couldn't wait to catch the train today - hoping to speak to him again.

Ok so I was at the station with my suitcase (as going on a trip) saw him, said hi (in a bit of a whisper) and nothing. Not a sound - he just stared. I got a small grin but nothing more. I really want to talk to him again & get to know him but not sure how to go about it. His body language showed he was interested yesterday but today its back to staring. Sighhhh how do I get talking to him again. I wont see him till Tuesday. I've got a crush on him & want to know him. How do I do this? Guys any advice would be nice.

I'm separated, I never believed in divorce but he's pushing towards it. We have a house that we co-own but I dont want to sell till the divorce.

I've been trying to sort this out with my husband but his family & solicitor keep getting in the way. He has excuses like "working late" too busy coz people are on holiday and he's filling in for them as well.

When married he had all the time in the world - now nothing. I sometimes wish I was the other woman! I hate my life, everytime i want to make things right, I get turned down, then he turns it on me that I'm not trying. 8 months of separation and still fighting. OMG what can I do to make this right - time, space, suicide?

Ok so my husband and myself are separated, with court and everything it got really ugly. Nothing was resolved in the court so it has to be a juditial separation, as cant divorce for 4 yrs. so anyways I'm trying to create peace. Also hoping for a friendship. The relationship ended due to infidility. Feelings have changed ect.

Anyways so now I'm looking to be friends but he wants to wait till the legal things are over. He is answering my emails but wont talk to me. Any advice on how to try create a friendship, no games I'm serious, I'd like to have a friendship.

My marriage is broken, horribly! I dont want him in my life, we're separated and been living apart for 7 months. I asked him to separate, he left but together we own a house. I've been forced to stay in the house, as according to the law in Ireland I took over the house, which is not the case. He dumped it on me. I tried taking it to court for maintenance (contribute to mortgage repayments as his name is also on the house) but it was thrown out of court.

So now I have a whole mortgage that I have to pay, I cannot leave the house as the bank will put me in a bad light therefore making my credit rating bad. As he refuses to pay 50% even if I'm not in the house. I cant afford to go back to court, no money, cant afford to keep the house (nor do I want it). He wants to take me to court for a juditial separation (even though the only outcome is to sell the house) but wont just sell the house without taking it to court. So in the mean time dumb dumb me is stuck paying for a place I hate. Any advice, revenge plots ect?

I'm not sure what to do, I cant stop crying, feel like the separation was the worst mistake I've ever made.

Got married in 2005 all was fine, we had our ups and downs then we were pressured by his family to buying a house, I was ok with it as it meant moving forward but things changed. We saw less of each other, after a long commute we'd argue a lot, sex was non existant and I felt more isolated.

Coz I'm from another country he insisted to get my parents over to stay with us, it worked wonders we became a lot closer, things were going well after a year of worry (my side) then I was told by a stranger he cheated on me. I confronted him - it was true.

Naturally I freaked out, tried living together but argued and fought daily, constantly in tears, then I suggested a trial separation for 6 months to find ourselves. We were still in contact, but never really saw each other. Every time we talk we fight. I met someone - yes I know, and things are ok.

My ex then started dumping all debts & mortgage on me, I had no other option but to get my boyfriend to move in to help me out. I sought legal help and am now taking him to court for maintenance. I'm not coping financially and even now I still love him deeply. I cant lose my ex, it'll be the first time seeing each other - in court. What can I say or do when court is over to make things right, even to try being friends? I love him sooooo much and it kills me to be apart. I hate my life now and everything in it. He was the one I married, how to get my marriage back? I tried asking him back but he's still angry. I haven't heard from him since 5 December.

Hi all

Ok so married 3 years, separated for 6 months. The separation was due to family pressure ect, my husband did cheat but in the process I was extreamly suicidal and depressed. When my family found out about the affair they made it impossible to forgive him. (actually they would bring it up every day - we live together). eventually I got to the stage where it was in my face for so long that I couldnt carry on and my parents spoke me into a separation (actually my dad).

My dad is the reasons of a lot of my behaviour and it feels like he's still trying to rule my life. my "ex" was asked to leave and in the beggining he used to contact my family about me - checking up and telling them he loved me lots, even sent me poetry and cds ect. I was still very angry and didnt respond - instead every time we spoke on the phone or emailed I would lash out and argue, say horrible things and then one night I put him on speaker phone whilst the family was with me. Stupid - yes.

I have been dating, and yes I’m happy with my new man but I cant get over my ex. I never really wanted it to end. I still love my ex deeply, but after the very big fight with him on speaker phone well things only got worse. My ex refused to speak to me, his family had serious goes at me and blame me for everything.

Things have calmed down but I’ve now got to take him to court as he landed the mortgage and all expenses on me (this would be through his family) so I was advised by my solicitor to take him to court for maintenance.

Every time I want to meet him for coffee and try settle outside of court he refuses. He wants to wait till the new year (as we agreed in the start for a trial separation till the new year) but feel I’ve lost him forever.

All I do is cry, I like my new life but am not in love with it. My ex was the love of my life, my best friend and the one I vowed to love for the rest of my life. I only want to make things right. I cant go through with the divorce, I don’t think I can handle it and suicide seems to be on my mind a lot.

Can this be fixed? Can I ever be with him again – bear in mind I cant get divorced till we’ve been separated for 4 years.

Ok so I'm going through a rough time and have been separated almost 6 months. even though we're going to court we'll still be married for 4 yrs, the relationship is pretty much destroyed. Though we agreed after legals to attempt at being friends, I'm still looking for closure, though coz I'm taking it to court coz of the finances thing I was wondering if it'll ever get better between us, where we can be at a stage to talk and become friends. Bearing in mind that it was supposed to be a trial separation and now its a separation. (his idea) can two people who used to love each other - ever become that again or is infidility going to keep us apart? I really want to make things better (he cheated) I've forgiven him due to my depression ect.

I feel I deserve another chance, any suggestions how to get him back on my side again - the good memories have come back and he only remembers the bad. how can I change this????

HI all

well 2008 has been the worst year of my life, I've been depressed coz:

1) been living in a country - still no friends

2) caught husband cheating and we're now separated

3) financial difficulties coz of ex

4) feel like everything I worked for was for nothing and I'm feeling unwanted.

I've been in and out of depression, I keep looking at the past and cant get past it. I've moved on in other areas of my life but feel worthless, things are bad between me & ex & I really want to change my life, the rut that I'm in. Problem is I dont drink, husband kept me from going out due to cheating issues and now I'm misearable. I cant seem to move past this. how can I get on with my life? or start afresh

My question is for the men, would you rekindle an old flame or try to work things out with an ex wife whether or not things ended on really bad terms ie family hates you ect?

What does it mean "I need time to concentrate on myself" and will speak to you during the new year after the legals?

I honestly dont understand, also he met a "female friend" and wont talk to me at all. Is there hope or is it OVER? Please let me know friendship is even out of the question.

HI All

Ok so here's the thing, was married for 3yrs, together for 4, he cheated, we separated 6 months now. I jumped into a relationship pretty early (time I found out about husband) and am still with the boyfriend.

Husband has met someone else, we dont talk, bought a house together that husband refuses to pay for, so am taking him to court for maintenance - cant get divorced for 4 yrs - country I'm in is not big on divorce.

Anyways so we're due to be in court january, I left my family & friends to be with husband and am having a really hard time letting go. boyfriend has moved in, have lots of pets to keep me busy but I cant stop thinking of my ex.

I've taken down the photos, taken off the wedding & engagement rings, cut communication (first with his family - did a stupid thing and told his mom I want out of the family). I still see him from time to time (we work acoss the river from each other & go to the same station.) I saw him last night, alone (I was with boyfriend) and no hello, no wave just walked straight past as if I never existed.

Ex has told me that after the legal stuff we can try being friends depending on the outcome of legal stuff. Thing is I still love him, a bit more than I made out to my family & boyfriend. I feel trapped and numb without him.

Ex cheated, we tried moving past it together but I wasnt ready - he did ask me to marry him a month later, then we fell apart. I miss him & his family, in my heart I feel like I made a mistake. What can I do or what should i do? anyone in the same situation?

Ok so my saga continues:

Saw ex with girl, I was totally ignored, as if I was nobody to him. After being married for 4 yrs, even though we're not exactly on good terms why are men so difficult?

I've gotten on with parts of my life, and I'm happy but I still want a friendship. He was the reason I left my friends and family and moved overseas, then he cheated and so forth. He now lives with his mam, we hardly see each other, he has messed me around but inside I just want peace.

How can you be friends with your ex and not bring up the bad stuff?

Will his hostility be worse after court?

Is there ever a chance things can change?

Broken and sad

My ex husband - We're separated for over 6 months now, messed me around for a while (cheated on me, moved out and cancelled all payments ie mortgage, electricity ect) So I took this up with my solicitor and we're taking him to court. He already has the summons

Thing is I miss him, he used to want to have a relationship with me, and emailed me lots in the begining but since he's been seeing a councilor he's blaming me for his infidelity.

I moved countries to be with him, we created a life together and all he thinks of now is the bad stuff. We had 2 years of a good marriage and then he changed when we bought a house. He would stay in the city weekends, till I caught him cheating on me.

I miss our friendship and cant imagine not having him in my life, he was a great guy and a good friend. I really want a friendship, especially coming up to christmas (the court date is in January).

He wants space and time away from me, every conversation is an arguement and he believes that it'll be a clean slate after the legals are over.

Both of us are dating other people, but I really miss his family and him. Just dont know where things changed. Keep finding old photos ect.

Will we ever be friends or is it just going to stay ugly forever? Has anyone been in a similar situation? If so what happened?

Hi

Long story but cutting it really short. My husband cheated, has moved out ect. Months down the line I've noticed my work collegue has been acting wierd around me, she's really jumpy and nice to me - usually the ***** from hell. I spoke to my ex about a week ago and he told me he was seeing someone, he didnt tell me her name but hesitated when I asked if I knew her.

So anyways on Friday she recieved flowers at work, getting loads of phonecalls but mentioned when I went by that "she knows about the flowers, we'll have to be more carefull, **** I have to go" as I walked past. Feeling very edgy as it affects my work coz I feel that she's lying to me. How can I know for sure without her telling me? Also she started dating a couple of weeks ago round about the same time he did. What would you do?

Husband cheated - for 2 years of a 4 year marriage. He wants me to take the debt, house but still keep house in his name. We've been separated for 2 months - he chose to leave me.

Not paying mortgage, or any bills for that fact. Dont have kids, families feuding (pretty bad) and I've decided to date. Actually been dating for just on a month now. Need someone to move in to help with bills and new bf asked to move in. Husband wants me back but only in feb. There are some feelings there but he cheated on me. New bf is the best guy I've met in a long time. Want to get on with my life. Waiting on husband to get separation papers as in Ireland need to be separated for 4 years till we get a divorce.

Family hates husband, loves bf. parents live in house with me. husband family hates me. if you were in my situation what would you do. Selling the house is not an option due to the downturn in economy

Ok so in February this year I found out he was having an affair, we tried to make it work but couldnt stop fighting. To cut the story short, he opted to move out. So far he's paid the mortgage (half of it) and now has told me that after september he wont be paying towards it. He also says that because the house is in both our names that he still has all the say in the house even if he's not paying the mortgage. He's getting a separation - as I dont have the time nor cash for it. We cant get a divorce till we've been separated for 4 years.

I've just started dating and my new man wants to move in. He's even said he'd pay half the mortgage. We're looking at refinancing but now there's a hold on the separation. So I cant even try to remortgage. If my boyfriend moves in I was told that my husband can ask for rent be it any sum he wants, even though my husband is not paying for the mortgage? Is this even right? I've been given all the debt, all the baggage the anger and frustration and I'm getting in more trouble whatever I do? Am going to see another solicitor today but would like to keep my options open. I also have an incriminating email regarding his work with passwords he sent to me. Should I play my last card and give it to his boss? Help please!!!