Janis H

THis is a 35 year old house. the hvac system sucks. We have a reasonable heat pump, but we constantly struggle to keep the upstairs in temperature to the main floor. The basement is HOT in winter, cold in summer, and that's where the blower and all is, in the basement. Upon further inspection, it seems to have been installed by blind monkeys. NOTHING has been sealed in the original ductwork. There is rigid round ductwork that attached to square metal ductwork without any kind of collar or seal or tape or anything. You can actually SEE gaps in the seams. Also, they put a vent in the CRAWL SPACE that was spewing conditioned air on gravel and mouse poop... not living space at all and I am baffled by that one. patched that up right fast, I'll tell you what.

but I'm having trouble with the seams. These are old ducts, and dirty dusty as all get out. Even when I tried to clean around it to use some tape (that metal tape) to seal it, I can't get the tape to stick. What else can I use? There are large gaps, I'm not sure mastic is going to cut it, I'm talking 1/4" gaps in some spots. I'm not sure magnetic tape would work either, since it's a seam.

what can I use to seal these gaping holes so I can cool upstairs?

We have a multi stage heat pump in a house built in 1970. It's cooling off and the basement is very warm and the upstairs is very cool. There is a huge temperature difference between the two. The main floor, where the thermostat is, is very comfortable and maintains temperature very well. We have old as heck single pane windows, but I put up plastic this fall and made sure they were well sealed. Master bedroom is over unheated garage, but the other bedrooms are cold, too. How can I even things out between the basement and the uptairs? I've heard to run the fan constantly and see if that makes a difference, will that work? Thanks!

We've had a happy healthy tank going for months - we moved and had some serious issues, but we had finally gotten everything back to normal again. It's a 26 gal tank, with 4 cherry barbs, a gold gourami, 2 platy, and the pleco. it was a common and we were going to trade it for a smaller bristlenose since he had gotten to be too big for the tank. Last week the tank crashed and I couldn't figure out why - it clouded over and my levels went wacky. I realized today that I hadn't seen the pleco since the crash and lo and behold I found bones. I am slightly upset because the tank had been fine, and I am assuming the large dead fish in it crashed it. at least I have an explanation, but what could have happened to the pleco? he was large (almost 7"), healthy, in a tank of non aggressive much smaller fish. No disease, good healthy environment. (FYI he died inside a pirate ship, which is his fav hangout, so that's why I didn't see the remains) Could he have starved to death? he wouldn't eat algae discs of any sort, and there wasn't much algae in the tank. He sometimes would eat lettuce or spinach, but that was rare. I have serious fish mommy guilt, and my kids are going to be upset, they loved that guy.

Is there anything i should do besides monitor levels and change water slightly more frequently? Everyone else seems just fine at this point.

We moved the tank about 6 weeks ago, lost a few fish in the transition, then waited 3 weeks and added new fish to the tank to fill out the schools we lost. New fish brought in stress and disease and we're back to square one. Right now there is a pleco and an upside down catfish left alive, and my kids really like both of them and would like to add to them. We have had it as a tropical tank with barbs, mollies, gourami, etc in the mix. Would it be possible to keep the two fish we have (pleco and upside down cat) and transition to a goldfish tank? My son (who's tank it is) really likes the black moor.

it's a 20 gal tank, and I'm willing to do some work with it.

What do I need to do to get past the disease (fin rot and ick, as well as some gill disorder) and would we be able to transition the tank or should we maintain the tropical community? We really want something with some bang color since we all enjoy it in the living room.

(I would love to go with african cichlids, but the tank is really way too small for that)

If he's stuck, I clearly need to call someone soon. We have been hearing noise for a week or so, so I am thinking he's getting out okay (I think it's a brick lined chimney) and I am hoping that we can just replace the cap and keep him out, but it's scratching more than usual now that he's seen that we are on the other side of the flue ( we just figured out it's in there this morning).

thanks!

I'm moving my family (me and three kids) in with my boyfriend this summer. We're moving over slowly, with the final move of furniture in July (I have to be out of my house before end of July). His kids live out of state and will be coming for 6 weeks at the end of June. They will be in day camp most of the time they're here (bf works full time of course) but there is a week before and a week after where they aren't in camp. I assumed I was going to watch the boys (I'm a stay at home mom, so it's totally feasible to just add to my brood) and made plans accordingly. Now my boyfriend says he needs to find something to do with his boys those extra weeks. I said that I assumed I was going to help out, and he said he couldn't ask me to do that, it was "his burden".

I'm really hurt about this, and he doesn't understand why. He makes time for me and my kids when I need help, but when I try to reciprocate he totally doesn't let me help him. I can't figure it out... and it really really hurts my feelings. I am going to be living with them and he doesn't think I'm going to be there to help out?!? He doesn't have to ASK me to help out - I just figured I would be there, things would be taken care of... and he doesn't think i should do it. Does he not trust me with his kids (they're older than mine, 11 and 8, when mine are 9,6,4) or does he not think I can handle all five? The kids all get along great, and we're going to be LIVING there so it's not like he can hide us being there... I just don't understand. ANd he can't explain it so that I feel better about it..

what on earth am I going to do??

I've been separated for almost 3 years (!) and divorced for almost a year. I have a very good relationship with my ex-husband, we are friendly and the marriage ended without a lot of fighting or awful words. I have moved on with my boyfriend (we've been together almost two years now) and have hopes for a bright future with him. I have three wonderful kids with my ex. It is important to me that they have a good relationship with their dad, and I do everything I can to work with him to make that happen.

Here's the issue. My ex travels for work a lot. ALL THE TIME. His girlfriend lives in another state (she's someone he had a relationship with while we were still married, so they've been at this for a while). But when he travels it's like he's bored or lonely or whatever and he starts texting me. Nothing sexual (ew) or really inappropriate, but a little too friendly for my taste. Like funny pictures, or what he's eating for dinner, or mundane everyday things. Things I don't care about at all. He texts me like 10-12 times a day... and sometimes it's about the kids (appropriate) but usually it's not. It's the mundane, and it's stuff I don't care about. It's like he thinks we're friends and I want to hear about his every day. I do send him texts, but it's stuff about the kids. It's not mundane stuff.

I had issues with him when we were separated in that he felt the need to hug me all the time. Everytime we saw each other he hugged me, every time he left he hugged me. I was so creeped out and I had to be firm and say no hugs. Dude left me and three kids and thought it was okay to hug me all the time?? WTF? I think part of him regrets the divorce because I was able to move on and find an amazing man to be in my life and in our kids' lives.

My boyfriend says I should just ignore him and he's eventually stop, but I know my ex well enough that he doesn't get subtle like that. I don't want to cause myself trouble by alienating him, but I want it to stop. What can I do/say to get that point across? It's just getting worse... and it's frustrating. he's always going to be in my life as the father of my kids, but should I have to put up with him just because he pays me child support?

It's been slowly getting worse, now it's getting to the point where over a day the water will barely be hot enough to run the kids' showers in the evening. Overnight is worse, it's often not quite hot enough for a shower first thing in the morning. If I run hot water for a bit (do dishes, wash laundry, etc) then it "wakes up" and is fine... for a few hours. Then same thing starts up. We were gone for the weekend and it was barely warm enough for a shower when we got home last night.

One day, without anything happening, flash stopped working. I uninstalled and reinstalled per firefox, it worked. Then a few days later it stopped working again. It happens every few days. No warning, nothing changing, just it doesn't recognize the plugin.

Same thing with Adobe PDF reader. I've done complete uninstall, registry cleaner of several types, reinstall. nothing fixes this.

HELP!!

I am divorced. My ex can claim residency elsewhere due to military service. he claims the three kids per the divorce decree on federal taxes. He will not be filing in Virginia. Can I claim all three kids in the state of virginia, since they are technically my dependants? Or is it tied to the federal guidelines and I cannot claim them anywhere? He does not file in virginia, I do.

We have a brick patio that has sunk, in parts up to 6 inches down, against the house. It's draining against the house now. Great, right? Explains some of the basement moisture problems we've had in the past when we have a lot of rain. The house is almost 40 years old. the patio is unknown age, but I would assume it's pretty old.

anyway.

We have removed the bricks on half the patio. They were a wet mortar over concrete slab, so there's a layer of mortar over a slab, and the slab seems (otherwise) stable. The mortar is coming up easily, leaving the slab. which is not a pretty finished slab, it's pretty rough. We are on a tight budget right now, and functionality and cost effectiveness are definitely important. We are also handy and willing to do work, but what on earth is the best way to address the problem?

1) slabjacking? Which would leave us with a level patio (which is an improvement) with a rough surface, but it's fixed the MAIN problem which is the sinking slab.

2) removing the slab and filling with sand/gravel/dirt to get the correct slope and then putting whatever we want back down whenever

3)can we just add concrete on top of the slab (which is in okay shape other than the fact that it tilts towards the house) to level it, and move on?

help!

Thanks!

Ok. This is my boyfriend's house. We're trying to get it "finished" because my kids and I are moving in with him this summer... and we're fighting a mold problem in the basement. there are many many issues that we're addressing to fix this, but one contributing factor I have been avoiding is the brick patio. The house is about 30 years old. The brick patio isn't original, but it's pretty close. It has sunk so that it is now sloping TOWARDS the house (DISASTER!) rather drastically. There hasn't been flooding, but it has to be contributing towards the humidity in the basement. Even if it isn't, it's got to be bad for the foundation (like really really bad, right?)

So. We're on a budget, we're handy as hell, and we want to fix this. We take great pride in our ability to do a lot of the work ourselves.

the bricks are mortered in. I am assuming it's on a concrete pad, but I haven't really gotten down and dirty to figure that out.

what are the options here? Can we do a concrete lift/ slab leveling (NOT DIY) if it's brick on a slab? Should we go at it and knock the bricks out, level the substrate, and re-lay the bricks? Can we save the bricks at all, or is it basically a demolition project and redo?

HELP!

Our basement is finished. It is older. I am sure that sometime in the last 30 years there has been water damage, thus the mold/mildew smell. We run a dehumidifier which makes a huge difference, but I have a couple of questions:

1. the dehumidifier ices up sometimes. There's no rhyme or reason that we can figure out... it will go for months and then wham, it's completely frozen up. We let it thaw, but in the two days it's off (sometimes we forget to turn it back on right away) the musty smell comes back and it takes days for it to go away. ( which is totally expected since you're having to dry out the mold spores that blossom in the sudden humidity). But why does it randomly ice up? The temperature hasn't changed, the humidity hasn't changed... is the unit starting to slowly fail? Is the refrigerant low? It is in the laundry room part of the basement so it can drain into the floor, is that making it worse?

2. in the winter the basement is BY FAR the warmest part of the house. Is that making things worse with everything - the mold and the humidity and the dehumidifier? It is the coolest part of the house in the summer (COLD), but it still smells musty in the summer.

My boyfriend has a man who lives in a room in his house. The man signed a lease when he moved in that he would work for 40 hours a month in exchange for renting room and utilities. He has maybe worked 40 hours in a year, not in a month. The man has started hoarding things in my boyfriend's garage, his storage unit, basement, backyard, other rooms in the house, everyplace. I am moving in this summer with my family into the house and the man has to leave before then (ASAP in my book). What should my boyfriend need to do other than give the man 30 days notice? Or if the man doesn't leave in time, are we going to have to evict him or can we do a 5 day quit notice?

We are in Virginia. I can't figure out how this relationship works out legally... bartering for rent. I don't know what my boyfriend was thinking. This man totally creeps me out anyway...

He knocked into a corner at his Dad's house and busted his head a few weeks ago. Personally, I would have taken him for stitches, but by the time I saw it (days later) it was too late for that. We had a bandaid on it and it was looking pretty good, but he developed an allergy to either the bandaid or the adhesive (I personally have a latex sensitivity, so it could be either) so we had to go bandaid free. Once the bandaid came off it developed a thick black scab. Now the scab looks a little oozy underneath (around the edges really I guess).

It is a nasty situation in that he kept scratching/picking at it with the allergic rash so it was slightly infected once the bandaid came off. I kept it as clean as I could and kept neosporin on it, but then at his Dad's house that didn't really happen and the thick scab formed.

Should I

a) leave the scab alone and let it heal

b) soak the scab off and get some more neosporin on the wound

c) I don't know what else... help!

Thanks for your advice!

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y284/jyhicks/pete...

we're blending two families, will have 7 people sitting in this room mainly used for TV. I have a large sectional we are trying to use, but it will block the fireplace, which is rarely if ever used. It has a large fireplace on one end, and is open to the kitchen on the other. It is long and narrow (19ft x 11ft) and we need as much seating as possible.

Is the linked arrangement just totally not going to work because it's blocking the fireplace?

This is for a 42 year old from a 36 year old... long term committed relationship. Neither of us really celebrates Valentine's Day, but I would like to surprise him with a small, clever, meaningful gift.

I'm 35, a divorced mom of 3, dating a man for almost 6 months. He recently disclosed that he has herpes and was having an outbreak. Yes, almost 6 months into an exclusive, serious, adult relationship is when he decided to tell me. Yes, this is a problem on it's own, but I am more concerned with the implications of the disease rather than the relationship concerns at this point. Am I a complete and utter fool to knowingly put myself in direct risk of a permanent, incurable, stigmatic disease like genital herpes? I am in love with this man, and he is in love with me and I cannot imagine leaving him, but I also can't imagine getting genital herpes! People that have the disease almost always say they wish they could have been given the choice, and here I am getting the choice and it seems like it's not such a bad choice right now... but I am looking at it through loving eyes, and not thinking totally rationally.

He got it from his ex-wife (she had it when they met) so it's not like he's sleeping around. i don't know if that makes a difference to anyone, but to me it did. She divorced him, he would have stayed married to her. We see our relationship now as something moving in the direction of long term, but we've only been together for 6 months and it's my first real healthy relationship since my split up 18 months ago.

we have been having unprotected sex and he is taking suppressive therapy for the herpes.

I'm 35, a divorced mom of 3, dating a man for almost 6 months. He recently disclosed that he has herpes and was having an outbreak. Yes, almost 6 months into an exclusive, serious, adult relationship is when he decided to tell me. Yes, this is a problem on it's own, but I am more concerned with the implications of the disease rather than the relationship concerns at this point. Am I a complete and utter fool to knowingly put myself in direct risk of a permanent, incurable, stigmatic disease like genital herpes? I am in love with this man, and he is in love with me and I cannot imagine leaving him, but I also can't imagine getting genital herpes! People that have the disease almost always say they wish they could have been given the choice, and here I am getting the choice and it seems like it's not such a bad choice right now... but I am looking at it through loving eyes, and not thinking totally rationally.

He got it from his ex-wife (she had it when they met) so it's not like he's sleeping around. i don't know if that makes a difference to anyone, but to me it did. She divorced him, he would have stayed married to her. We see our relationship now as something moving in the direction of long term, but we've only been together for 6 months and it's my first real healthy relationship since my split up 18 months ago.

We've been dating for almost three months, off and on at first,then more frequently and exclusively to the point where we are now. We're both divorced with kids he's 42 I'm 34. We spend as much time together as we can between work and family commitments, usually at least once a week. We talk about every other day. He's taking me away for the upcoming Thanksgiving weekend, his idea, his treat. We've started making plans for New Year's Eve because we found out we both are without our kids. He's sweet and considerate and romantic... we are good together both in and out of bed. There's never a dull moment and we have a lot in common to talk about.

BUT! He says we're not really in a relationship. We're exclusive, we are planning trips together, we spend free time together, we're sleeping together... how are we NOT in a relationship?

honestly I don't know why this bothers me so much because I am very happy with where we are, I just feel like it devalues me and my time and energy when he says we're not in a relationship...