sk8ermom

So, My husband and I have been divorced for 2 years now. Everything had been going really well. He has a new GF that moved in with him a few months ago and is now interfering. My ex and I had a deal that when we got our (separate) tax money, he would buy twin mattresses for the 2 boys and I would buy the beds. Its loft beds so there are no box springs needed. What they are sleeping on now is just crap. Both of us wanted our kids to be comfortable and this arrangement wasn't an issue for either of us. Now the GF is throwing a fit over the $300 cost of the 2 mattresses. She says that is what his child support should pay for and he should never have to buy things for his kids, save some Christmas presents and such.

My ex and I are new at divorce. I have no divorced friends that I can ask these questions to. I admit, I don't have a clue if ex's ever pay for extra things like this for their kids. What is the "norm" on issues like this. Since he does pay child support, I was going to take the bulk of the expenses on the beds. I just needed some extra help because I don't have the money to get it all. Is this unreasonable? I don't want to start a fight between him and his GF but I do really need the help and though it was fair. He is stuck in the middle.

Where can I go to find a list of people to write that have the power to change the law? Is there a certain group of senators or lawmakers that are already on this subject? I am an adoptive mom and I can't stand to look at a birth certificate that says I gave birth to an Indian child in a place I have never even been.

Degree of difficulty: I do NOT want to sort through a mountain of anti-adoption crap to get the information I need. I want a mature group of informed activists for adoption reform. NOT, "OMG! You are an adoptress, you must DDIIEEEE!!"

So I am home study approved to adopt a girl of any race 0-4 with severe disabilities including terminal illness and total care. And a boy of any race 9-11 with any physical and medical including non-ambulatory and HIV/AIDS but with only mild mental and learning issues (moderate on case by case basis) So I'm doing the adoption waiting thing.

I am signed with Adopt America Network, my state, and sending profiles to other states. I inquire on the kids on the online photolistings but they are all taken or have way to many families. I hear of some families that have gotten children fairly quickly or have,like, 10 kids and still getting more. Do those people just know someone on the inside? Am I missing something? What else should I be doing to help bring a child/children home. I don't qualify for foster care and can't afford domestic or international. Now I hear there is something like 50 inquiries for every child placed. What has worked for you to stick out? Any contact you care to share? Thanks for any help!

We hear a lot from the adoption hate groups/angry adoptees on here (My heart goes out to you) but one thing I have been thinking about lately is surrogacy. I can understand gestational surrogates that use the intended mothers egg and fathers sperm but what about a donated egg? How do you think it would feel to be born from a strangers belly using a strangers egg that was givin up for money with no attachment whatsoever?

How about if you were born from a traditional surrogate who concieved you JUST to give you away. Would that lead to feelings of abandonment?

If you were born from the intended parents seed, would you still feel abandond by your birthmother?

Wow, this is what I think about at 4AM?? LOL

Salty dogs and DKM's are...well, the same thing. Those are good and I've caught the shows but there has to be more out there that I can't find. The more Irish the better! Something about an Irish band in Boston doesn't sit right with me. LOL