Jean

I have three kids. When I met my partner, he was part time Dad to three of his own living overseas. I did my all to include him in our family life and we were working well. A few months ago, his daughter came to live with him. Now days out involve them both going their own way, he makes no effort to maintain a balance between his daughter s happiness and ours, and has told me that her happiness is more important to him. We have no alone time any more, every time we sit for a chat, she joins us, every time we walk together, she pushes in between us. She treats my home with utter disrespect, rubbish thrown on the floor, chewing gum on the kitchen table, my daughter is bullied for her games console constantly and my youngest son called "the demon child". Our future plans as a couple have been trashed. He barely talks to me any more and it s constant arguments and disagreements. I wanted a balance to include everyone involved, he can t see where my issue is and keeps telling me that things change, but I can t see how if he makes no effort. Things were so good for so long, a part of me wants the good times back, but a part of me says it s time to go.

Thoughts?

I have three kids. When I met my partner, he was part time Dad to three of his own living overseas. I did my all to include him in our family life and we were working well. A few months ago, his daughter came to live with him. Now days out involve them both going their own way, he makes no effort to maintain a balance between his daughter s happiness and ours, and has told me that her happiness is more important to him. We have no alone time any more, every time we sit for a chat, she joins us, every time we walk together, she pushes in between us. She treats my home with utter disrespect, rubbish thrown on the floor, chewing gum on the kitchen table, my daughter is bullied for her games console constantly and my youngest son called "the demon child". Our future plans as a couple have been trashed. He barely talks to me any more and it s constant arguments and disagreements. I wanted a balance to include everyone involved, he can t see where my issue is and keeps telling me that things change, but I can t see how if he makes no effort. Things were so good for so long, a part of me wants the good times back, but a part of me says it s time to go.

Thoughts?

I ve been seeing an amazing man for the past 6mths. My three kids adore him. He s also got three kids who live with their mum, lovely kids, I m only getting to know them but get on well with them. His oldest daughter is coming to live with him soon, but he hasn t realised yet that when she does, our relationship will end, purely because both sets of kids need care and we don t live together, and it s tearing me up. If I say something, it will influence things, I cant make him choose between me and his daughter. I d happily have both of them live with me, but I m not sure we re at that point in our relationship yet, and his daughter doesn t know me well enough yet. Anyone else in a similar predicament? How did you juggle it? I don t want to lose him, but I suppose I m struggling as to how to make it work for everyone.

I ve been seeing an amazing man for the past 6mths. My three kids adore him. He s also got three kids who live with their mum, lovely kids, I m only getting to know them but get on well with them. His oldest daughter is coming to live with him soon, but he hasn t realised yet that when she does, our relationship will end, purely because both sets of kids need care and we don t live together, and it s tearing me up. If I say something, it will influence things, I cant make him choose between me and his daughter. I d happily have both of them live with me, but I m not sure we re at that point in our relationship yet, and his daughter doesn t know me well enough yet. Anyone else in a similar predicament? How did you juggle it? I don t want to lose him, but I suppose I m struggling as to how to make it work for everyone.

I ve been seeing an amazing man for the past 6mths. My three kids adore him. He s also got three kids who live with their mum, lovely kids, I m only getting to know them but get on well with them. His oldest daughter is coming to live with him soon, but he hasn t realised yet that when she does, our relationship will end, purely because both sets of kids need care and we don t live together, and it s tearing me up. If I say something, it will influence things, I cant make him choose between me and his daughter. I d happily have both of them live with me, but I m not sure we re at that point in our relationship yet, and his daughter doesn t know me well enough yet. Anyone else in a similar predicament? How did you juggle it? I don t want to lose him, but I suppose I m struggling as to how to make it work for everyone.

I ve been seeing an amazing man for the past 6mths. My three kids adore him. He s also got three kids who live with their mum, lovely kids, I m only getting to know them but get on well with them. His oldest daughter is coming to live with him soon, but he hasn t realised yet that when she does, our relationship will end, purely because both sets of kids need care and we don t live together, and it s tearing me up. If I say something, it will influence things, I cant make him choose between me and his daughter. I d happily have both of them live with me, but I m not sure we re at that point in our relationship yet, and his daughter doesn t know me well enough yet. Anyone else in a similar predicament? How did you juggle it? I don t want to lose him, but I suppose I m struggling as to how to make it work for everyone.

I ve been seeing an amazing man for the past 6mths. My three kids adore him. He s also got three kids who live with their mum, lovely kids, I m only getting to know them but get on well with them. His oldest daughter is coming to live with him soon, but he hasn t realised yet that when she does, our relationship will end, purely because both sets of kids need care and we don t live together, and it s tearing me up. If I say something, it will influence things, I cant make him choose between me and his daughter. I d happily have both of them live with me, but I m not sure we re at that point in our relationship yet, and his daughter doesn t know me well enough yet. Anyone else in a similar predicament? How did you juggle it? I don t want to lose him, but I suppose I m struggling as to how to make it work for everyone.

I ve been seeing an amazing man for the past 6mths. My three kids adore him. He s also got three kids who live with their mum, lovely kids, I m only getting to know them but get on well with them. His oldest daughter is coming to live with him soon, but he hasn t realised yet that when she does, our relationship will end, purely because both sets of kids need care and we don t live together, and it s tearing me up. If I say something, it will influence things, I cant make him choose between me and his daughter. I d happily have both of them live with me, but I m not sure we re at that point in our relationship yet, and his daughter doesn t know me well enough yet. Anyone else in a similar predicament? How did you juggle it? I don t want to lose him, but I suppose I m struggling as to how to make it work for everyone.

Ok, been ingle for quite a while, thought I'd try online dating. Got chatting to a guy, we had loads in common, we got on really well, we were texting back and forth, arranged to meet for coffee, great! He canceled at the last minute, apologised profusely and told me he'd make it up to me. OK. .. so three weeks later and theres no sign of a reschedule. So I'm thinking either he's really shy or a time waster... opinions?!?

Sounds dumb, but a few weeks ago, I met someone online. He texted me every single day for a whole month, and often chatted on Skype, and he was so sweet. Just a real person which is a rarity these days online, so polite and respectful, no frills, an attentive single Dad (I'm a single Mum) and we got on so well. So we arranged to meet, but two days before, he stopped talking to me. He told me later that he has some personal issues that he didn't want to talk about, but he was very interested in me, but that he couldn't be in a relationship right now. I don't understand how it all went pear shaped so quickly, but I figure, OK, move on. But he's stuck in my head and it's making it hard to let go. How on Earth can I be so stuck on someone I never even met, seriously! It's driving me insane. How do I forget and move on?

I posted this question earlier, but no response, so I'm posting again...

I've known this guy for about 18 years. We've both been through our fair share of partners, I've been married and now I've split from my husband. But he's had a crush on me for all that time and now that my husband's out of the picture, he wants us to give it a go. But I don't know, I think it's all going to get messy. I'm friends with his sister, not great friends, but friends none the less. But he doesn't get on with her, and I don't want to be dragged into an argument if one comes up. He lies about stupid things trying to impress me (his sister tells me the truth). I get on with him really well, we have a laugh together, but it's not often we bump into each other, so there's usually plenty to talk about. But I don't know if we have enough in common to carry on a relationship. I'm the quiet, sit by the TV and talk type, he's a bit of a lad and likes going out and doing stupid things for the laugh.

One one hand, he's stuck with this for 18 years. He doesn't care that I'm not skinny or perfect any more, he doesn't run at the thought of taking my kids on, and I'm lonely and I'd like to feel that intimacy with someone again. It's been more than a year since I left a loveless marriage where my confidence took a knocking, and I know he'll treat me well.

On the other hand, there's drama to deal with and the fact that he's hoping that this relationship will be forever and I feel that a relationship between us would be much more casual because, with young kids, I don't really have time for a relationship.

So I guess I'm looking for a little advice. Should I give it a shot, have a little fun, build my confidence back up but risk losing two casual friends? Or should I keep him at arms length, maintain my friendships and wait for the right person to come along? I'm completely torn...

OK, this guy I've know for years likes me. He's liked me forever. Last year, my marriage of 7 1/2 years fell apart, and now this guy is back on the scene and he's asked me out. But I'm not completely sure we're right for each other. I mean, we get on really well, some similar interests, etc, etc, we did kiss once, a long time ago, but I'm friends with his sister who he doesn't get along with, and he tells me a lot of things I know are not true, not major things, but silly little things to try to impress. At the same time, I've gotten to a point where I'm ready to date again, I've come to terms with the end of my marriage and I'm beginning to feel the lack of company and intimacy, and he's had feelings for me that have lasted for 18 years. With kids in tow, dating's not easy. So I'm confused. Any thoughts? Should I give him a chance or politely let him down?

OK, I'm separated now 9 months and I'm a stay at home mother to my three kids. I want to get back into the dating scene again, but I have no idea how to go about it any more. When I met my ex, I was 19, slim, kid free, and no financial obligations. Now I'm in my 30's and I have three kids which didn't do much for my waist line, and my self esteem has fallen through the floor. I have no friends because I've just moved back to my home town after being away for 12 years, and the few casual friends I have are all either married with kids, or in happy relationships, I have no single friends to hang out with. I'm feeling really alone and left out. Can anyone offer any friendly advice?

My husband upped and left me and my three children last August, a week before a move from the UK to Ireland. My parents paid for the move because he left me with 3p after gambling everything we had, the move was supposed to be paid from savings we had, but he'd gambled those too. At that point, everything we owned was packed into boxes and ready to go, I couldn't go through every box to take everything out. Now he wants his stuff back, but doesn't want to repay the costs incurred by my parents. I'm moving again, but the house I'm moving to doesn't have a means to storing what he's left behind, so I want him to either pay up or just dump the stuff that's there. Very little of it is worth anything, mostly books, photos, letters from college friends 15 years old, old tickets for concerts, crap like that, so I won't get anything by trying to sell it off.

What I want to know is where do I stand legally? Can I get rid of this stuff if he refuses to pay up? Can I dump it all in a storage facility and send him the bill? Or can he come and claim it without making any payment?

I'm recently separated after 13 years with my husband. I was only 19 when we first met, totally inexperienced with men, but it was far easier to meet new people in college and the night club scene. Now I'm a stay at home mum to three young children, and the whole dating scene seems terrifying. With few social outlets, it seems near impossible. So a couple of questions:

For the men out there, how do you feel about dating a woman with kids from a previous relationship?

Single mums: How do you handle introducing a new partner to your children?

Quick question. Is your address confidential in the UK?

BQ: Is the fact that you are a patient in a hospital considered confidential information in the UK?

I'm looking for proof of whereabouts for my husband who is currently in hospital. The hospital will readily provide that information to whoever calls for him on the phone, but won't put it in writing. Are they breaking the law?

OK, long story....

Basically, my husband spent 4 years lying to me about money. My savings are gone, but he repeatedly told me that they were there, and I borrowed against them. My parents loaned him more than £10,000 with the promise that they'd get the money back.

Last November, I discovered that he had a gambling problem. He had been taking pay day loans and had been gambling thousands of pounds away with little regard for the wellbeing of his three children. My daughter was 2.5yrs, and was still in a cot, he refused to let me buy a bed for her. When he left, I didn't have a penny to buy them Christmas presents or food. My mother had to come from Ireland with 2000eur to bail me out and take me and the kids back with her for Christmas. My husband came groveling back with promises that he would make things better and had gone for treatment.

About 2 weeks ago, while we were on holiday in Wales, we had a fight over money again when I found out that he had pawned his work laptop (a brand new iMac worth £2,500) for £450. We were planning a move back to Ireland too, and he swore blind to me that the removals had been paid for, but when I questioned him about the receipt for the removals, he got really defensive. I told him that I didn't want to stay in a marriage where all I got was lies and crap, so he got up, told me he was sleeping on the sofa, and left the room. At 5am the next morning, my mother, who had come with us on holiday, came to wake me up in a panic. My husband had stolen her car, the only mode of transport my wheelchair bound sister had, and with it, an expensive mobility scooter, and a specially fitted accessibility seat. Later that day, he was taken in by police on Section 136 of the Mental Health Act and taken to a mental health facility in Wales.

Now my husband has left me and my children destitute and refuses to cooperate with me with regards to getting any form of financial aid by refusing to allow the mental health facility to issue a letter stating that he's a patient there. All I need is proof of his whereabouts.

Right, this is my issue. He wants to fight me for custody of the kids. I want sole custody and supervised visitation because he has demonstrated irrational and unreasonable behaviour. I know that I will get sole custody, he walked out on me twice in less than a year. But I don't want him left alone with the kids, I don't trust him, and he could well take them away just to spite me.

So my question is this. My parents want to press charges for the theft of their car. But they also want their money back. Would it be best to enter negotiations directly with him and threaten legal action for the money and the car theft but offer to drop all charges if he agrees to pay everything he owes them? Or would it be best to call the police and state that they want to press charges, then take civil action to recover the money? For me, him having a criminal record for car theft will be far more helpful to my custody case, but I don't want to leave my parents out of pocket in case they lose the civil case.

...Abortion is considered wrong, life begins at conception and everyone has the right to life. Are there any circumstances where the Church would consider abortion acceptable?

Just to clarify, I'm not considering abortion, I was told by a Catholic priest that aborting my terminally ill baby was OK because the end result was the same.

I'm married 7 years and have three kids - 4, 2 and 6mths.

In 2006, we lost our first baby at 27 weeks, and 10 weeks later, my mother in law died suddenly, it was our year of hell. My husband feel into a pit of depression and it steadily got worse and worse. I tried to get him to see a doctor or a counselor, but he wouldn't, he just wasn't ready.

During my last pregnancy, he got more and more withdrawn. He showed no affection towards me and began to shout at the kids, mostly mostly at my oldest son, who, in turn, began to throw temper tantrums because he was getting wound up.

When my youngest was only 2mths old, the proverbial **** hit the fan, I discovered that my husband had been gambling everything we had and had been taking loans from payday loan services to cover his losses. When I confronted him, he flipped out, refused to come home from work, was suicidal, and then sent another girl an email telling her that he'd made a mistake marrying me and that he loved her instead. I was heartbroken and took the kids and left and stayed with my parents for a month. He'd gambled away all the money I thought we had for Christmas, my parents had to give me money to pay for gifts for them.

So he went for treatment, got antidepressants, was referred to a counselor, promised me that things would change, there'd be no more lies and secrets, and that he'd start looking for a job back home (we're living abroad, all my family are overseas, made being left at home alone with three kids and absolutely no support or money for a week while he took time to sort his head out 'fun')

So, after everything, I agreed to travel back with him. At first, I hated him because of everything he'd done, but things got better. Then Mothers Day came and, after putting me through hell, he neither bought anything or did anything to show his appreciation. Now it's my birthday this weekend, and he's told me that he's gotten me nothing because that's the money situation we're in and there's nothing he can do about it. When I told him that I needed to get a job, and for me to get a job, he would have to let his boss know that he can't travel, he refused, telling me that traveling is part of his job, and child care is too expensive anyway so it's not worth my time. Seems like my 6 years of 3rd level education is worth nothing. When I get frustrated or angry, he shoots me down and yells 'Oh yeah, I'm a horrible person, it's all my fault'.

Part of me wants this marriage to work for the kids sake, part of me wants to run away as far and as fast as I can. But if I run, I worry that he might become suicidal again and the kids might lose their father. I hate this situation, I hate having to be the one to sacrifice everything to pay off his debts, I hate coming second to his damn iphone, I hate lying in bed wondering if what he said to that other girl about me being the biggest mistake of his life was true or a depressed man's desperate attempt to find some affection when everything hit rock bottom. But I'd hate myself more if he killed himself because I walked away.

I don't know where to go with this, I'm totally lost...

Any advice?

My HTC Salsa fell in a bath of water and I didn't notice for several minutes, so it was pretty water logged when I fishes it out! Anyway, after a week in a baggy of rice and silica gel packs, it was completely dried put and, miraculously, it worked! The battery was a bit flaky and I needed to charge at least twice a day, but I can live with that. But a week later, the battery died and now won't charge. Is the issue more likely with the battery or the handset? I don't want to buy a new battery only to find the handset is beyond repair, and I can't afford a new handset...

I miss my phone...