Sticky Wickets

When you stop seeing someone cause they decide to date someone else...why is it so damn hard to be friends? Why can't they just talk to you...what is the big deal...by the way i'm mid 30's not a teenager. Friends are friends ...........i mean if you see them for over a year....ah heck...guess it doesn't count anymore...no one cares about each other.

When you stop seeing someone cause they decide to date someone else...why is it so damn hard to be friends? Why can't they just talk to you...what is the big deal...by the way i'm mid 30's not a teenager. Friends are friends ...........i mean if you see them for over a year....ah heck...guess it doesn't count anymore...no one cares about each other.

i'm a bit baffled...i know i guy we're just friends nothing more, nothing less. Totally into his girl...but i can't shake the feeling that something is gonna happen. I wake up in the night periodically and "just know" of course I can't tell him this ...have to let things happen as they will. I don't talk to him much cause he's so wrapped up but it's okay it's how it goes. But this is not the first person i've encountered this dilema with. It's been going on for like 10 yrs. One was after my died... and thoughts of her woke me up..come to find out no one ordered her grave marker. Once that happened, she didn't bother me. Another was a guy friend i hadn't seen in like 13 yrs or so...he woke me up in the night.a few years back..come to find out he'd divorced his second wife. Best one was an old roommate .....he was sickly and for 2 weeks he woke me up in the night...........he ended up passing away. When i say wake me up...i don't mean call me...but that im woken up out of sound sleep w/thoughts....i try not to read into it...but history indicates something is gonna happen..........are there websites that i can read to make myself more aware of how this works? how to read it? what it means? thanks! I know there are folks out there who get it.

thanks to a poster of a previous question on here...and having read alittle about being a sensitive and knowning that everyone does not subscribe to the theory of empaths and sensitives.... realizing that descriptions of sensitives fit me to a "T"....i wonder is it really anxiety that i have? it's odd cause as soon as i realized i had this gift..........and a better understanding of me...........everything that made me anxious wasn't so prevalent. it's as if things are so much clearer....i don't feel like a "misfit" or "broken"that my issues aren't psychological....more spiritual in nature.....i'm embracing this...can you point me in the direction of websites or chat sites that will help fine tune this?

btw...i've been like this for years...just didn't know what it was.

you can feel thier hand in yours or your heart feels like your loved...i'm fairly new to this and never knew I had this gift. I there a chat room or website that can help me better understand?

could it that thought i think first thing in the morning where i question on whether to call an old friend...i first thing i think is call them...........is it the thought that i'm going to run itno someone i haven't seen in awile? Is it a moment of clarity in a situation tht seems bad when you get the feeling that it will allwork out?

my mom died in 2006....shortly after her death i kept waking up w/thoughts of her..........come to find out a marker was never put on her grave.........i took care of that...and shortly after she stopped waking me.

I get strong feelings i'm gonna run into folks i haven't seen for awhile....and i do...

I have a friend that i causally dated who opted for a relationship another person.......we're still friends...but i can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen there...like it was the wrong choice...are these angels? what about gut reactions, feelings in your heart....those god? angels? they say god speaks to us but we need to listen and sometimes it's not the obivious things.

Sometimes i don't pay attention to this stuff and sometimes ido.............i'm thinking more that i should...anyone else have these experiences?

could it that thought i think first thing in the morning where i question on whether to call an old friend...i first thing i think is call them...........is it the thought that i'm going to run itno someone i haven't seen in awile? Is it a moment of clarity in a situation tht seems bad when you get the feeling that it will allwork out?

my mom died in 2006....shortly after her death i kept waking up w/thoughts of her..........come to find out a marker was never put on her grave.........i took care of that...and shortly after she stopped waking me.

I get strong feelings i'm gonna run into folks i haven't seen for awhile....and i do...

I have a friend that i causally dated who opted for a relationship another person.......we're still friends...but i can't shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen there...like it was the wrong choice...are these angels? what about gut reactions, feelings in your heart....those god? angels? they say god speaks to us but we need to listen and sometimes it's not the obivious things.

Sometimes i don't pay attention to this stuff and sometimes ido.............i'm thinking more that i should...anyone else have these experiences?

Of a 42 yr old dating a 23 yr old....actually they live together at her place....he's divorced (was married 15 yrs)...3 kids...his oldest is a few years younger than the gf. He's retired navy and makes big bucks (could be a factor?) Before you say anything about her being hott she's over 250 (he likes his women big) and not what I would have chosen....granted....whatever works for them and they have been off and on for 2 yrs so they started dating when she was 21....but i'm just curious as to the opinions out there............

i ran into an old bf w/his girlfriend today for the first time since i got dumped a few months ago. needless to say i froze, panicked and couldn't even say hi (i have an anxiety disorder)....it's not the first time i've run into him..............and i still get nervous when it's just him.....how should i have dealt with this and addressed this...........so i know what to do next time.

Ihave a guy friend was seeing for about a year...decided to try again with his ex to see where it would go. While i'm okay with that.i actually saw him a few weeks ago.............went well, we were pleasant could have talked for hours..i'm unsure of how to proceed. I heard he was going through some stuff, and see how he was but i got a bit nervous so i sent him an email....telling him i was thankfrul for all he did forme...and i was in his corner if he needed to call (he told me I could call him any time - but i haven't yet). I got no response (didn't expect one)....how do i interpret this....and proceed from here...........it's been a few weeks since we last talked and i'm not going to blow up his phone or drive hm crazy. I just want him to know that i'm here should he need me.....ideas?

Ihave a guy friend was seeing for about a year...decided to try again with his ex to see where it would go. While i'm okay with that.i actually saw him a few weeks ago.............went well, we were pleasant could have talked for hours..i'm unsure of how to proceed. I heard he was going through some stuff, and see how he was but i got a bit nervous so i sent him an email....telling him i was thankfrul for all he did forme...and i was in his corner if he needed to call (he told me I could call him any time - but i haven't yet). I got no response (didn't expect one)....how do i interpret this....and proceed from here...........it's been a few weeks since we last talked and i'm not going to blow up his phone or drive hm crazy. I just want him to know that i'm here should he need me.....ideas?

Due to childhood trauma, I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. It usually manifiests itself with men and i also have abandonment issues. I am in counseling but i have had events that have added to my issues. I was seeing someone casually for about a y ear.....unfortunatley my behavior was less than desireable in that i started pushing him away thinking he'd hurt me, instead of fully enjoyng the time with him........long story short...he decided to go back to the ex gf (there is a 20 yr age difference there as well - she is in her early 20's - him 40's). I got the standard "you're a great person" and if you need my help with anything call me...yes, we're friends. I even ran into him a week later, and it went well, as if we'd been friends for years. Here's the hard part....i shot him an email about a week ago that i got no repsonse to. While i'm okay with that and the entire situation,,,,i don't know how to be a friend to this guy...i heard he was going through some stuff....but i'm to scared to call an ask if he's okay for fear of rejection although my intentions are honest .......let me add that this guy was instrumental in my getting my new job so he's not a total dirtbag. I really don't like being like this.....it affects my relationships...........as a whole. I figured if i could get it right with him maybe.......the rest would follow. In addition after reflection, i've realized i'm a bit selifsh and self- centered other issues for the next counseling session. This is NOT the first time it's happened,but at least i'm aware - again thanks to this guy....Can someone provide me with some guidance on how to deal with all this? Thanks..........

i was seeing a guy casually for about a year. He was instrumental in me getting my new, much better job which in turn provided other opportunties for me to improve on myself. A few weeks ago he told me he was now off the market and was going back to his g/f (she's 23 he's 43 no bearing i know). I told him i'd miss him is response was "why? i'm not dead, i'm still around"....i asked well, what now...........he told me i could call, and if i needed any help with anything he would try to help me. Well............what does all that mean? Is it a line to make himself feel better? I like him, he's awesome and i have no objections being his friend. i don't the physical and all that........haven't called yet..letting dust settle, but i have run into him at work.........and it's honestly been pleasant.........great conversation and stuff. I did send him an email a few days ago...to which i got no response (didn't expect one though).....so how do i proceed from here.............he lives close to me so i'm thinking at some point i will run into....do i call? I just figured friendship is a 2 way street.....

I was seeing a guy casually for about a year. He was instrumental in me getting my new, much better job which in turn provided other opportunties for me to improve on myself. A few weeks ago he told me he was now off the market and was going back to his g/f (she's 23 he's 43 no bearing i know). I told him i'd miss him is response was "why? i'm not dead, i'm still around"....i asked well, what now...........he told me i could call, and if i needed any help with anything he would try to help me. Well............what does all that mean? Is it a line to make himself feel better? I like him, he's awesome and i have no objections being his friend. i don't the physical and all that........haven't called yet..letting dust settle, but i have run into him at work.........and it's honestly been pleasant.........great conversation and stuff. I did send him an email a few days ago...to which i got no response (didn't expect one though).....so how do i proceed from here.............he lives close to me so i'm thinking at some point i will run into....do i call? I just figured friendship is a 2 way street.....

I was seeing a guy casually for about a year. He was instrumental in me getting my new, much better job which in turn provided other opportunties for me to improve on myself. A few weeks ago he told me he was now off the market and was going back to his g/f (she's 23 he's 43 no bearing i know). I told him i'd miss him is response was "why? i'm not dead, i'm still around"....i asked well, what now...........he told me i could call, and if i needed any help with anything he would try to help me. Well............what does all that mean? Is it a line to make himself feel better? I like him, he's awesome and i have no objections being his friend. i don't the physical and all that........haven't called yet..letting dust settle, but i have run into him at work.........and it's honestly been pleasant.........great conversation and stuff. I did send him an email a few days ago...to which i got no response (didn't expect one though).....so how do i proceed from here.............he lives close to me so i'm thinking at some point i will run into....do i call? what?

Was seeing a guy off and on for about a year. Nice guy...helped me get my present job...great to talk to....but he decided to go back to his girlfriend to see where it would go. I told him I'd miss him...and he said....why? I'm still going to be around, I'm not dead and that I could call him and he'd help me in anyway he could. He wanted to be sure I'd be comfortable if I ran into the two of them and that he could introduce me as his "friend", that there would be no dirty looks....(i'd probably run in the other direction lol). I have discovered that I have a lot of issues with men stemming with childhood trauma....and now have an anxiety disorder as a result. I push people away before they can hurt me and have never really been friends with a guy I used to date. I want to change that.......and I want to start with him. I know most would say don't bother....but how do you make the transition.......do you treat them like they are one of your g/f? What is calling too much......do you wait for them (I told him phone works both ways) how do you do this?

How would you handle this friend?

He's a guy i've known for awhile. We dont' date....but hang out occasionally. He used to text me and say hi all the time when we were online. He also stopped by on the anniversary of my mom's death a few months ago..and helped me get a job where he works. He even popped by my office a few weeks ago. Now......he's a divorced dad of 3 works 2 jobs and yeah is busy...that part i understand.. he's also a big flirt and player (why we don't date)...but here's myissue....he doesnt take the intiative anymore to say hi like he used to. WE talk sure but in the middle of a conversation he drops it. I have told him he's rude and have even called him a jerk. I think this behavior sucks.............how would you handle thi guy...i wanna slap him in the back of the head!

I'm in a new job and havent' gotten paid yet and don't have enought for the full car payment. I'be tried to call but always get an automated system or the "i'm sorry we're experiencing an unusal high call volume" i decided just to send what i had and will send more in a couple weeks. figured something is better than nothing!

i've known a guy for bout 7 months or so (we met online...then we met in person)....we used to talk everyday, get together once in a week or so...but we're notin a committed relationship. I said this one was going to be different, wasn't going to bother him alot...not alot of texting to him, he was making all the effort (and he was), etc etc.well in the past month he's changed...he barely says hi when we are online at the same time...and i've noticed he's pre occupied with other things...i'm thinking he's moved on to another person(s) online. Funny thing is he just helped me get a job.....and i feel bad....not hurt...just bad....i leave him alone ..... not sure what I should do.......so i try to keep the friendship going? Any advice would be nice!

Met a guy last year around thanksgiving...had a date...really nice..he called to tell me he'd like to see me again.............few weeks pass, don't hear from him, no problem. We make plans, but he calls to cancel the day we're supposed to get together. Few more weeks pass...I text him...ask him how he's doing, make mention i'm gonna be free..............he says great....i'll get back to you and we can don something. Don't hear from him. This is December. Fast forward to April, i've taken him off my phone....figured he wasn't interested. I get a text.....lets get together...when are you free...........again we make plans for dinner. The morning of the dinner date i get a phone call AND text telling me he's sick he can't make it, and how horrible he feels. Okay, I talk to him later...he's going out of town for Easter. I ask if I can call him.............no response....I let it go...........2 days ago i'm cleaning out my phone....and send him a text.........."if you can't make time for me, I can't make time for you...please do not contact me again." To which I get a reply, "you don't understand...it's not where my focus is right now but i'll respect your decision...goodbye". Then why in the heck waste my time like that? i know i did the right thing for me....anyone else have a situation like this? What did YOU do?