Happy Feet Jr.

find the famous cigars named Monseñor de Puerto Plata? I know I will find them in Puerto Plata but where?

Punta Cana (Bavaro) and Puerto Plata ?

1. Punta Cana is a large hotel strip with nice beaches, but far away from anything,so not much more than a tourist area. Town is about 45 miles away!

2. Puerto Plata is the first tourist area in the D.R., with so many thing to do and to discover (too many to write down) and the colonial town is only 15 min away from every resort ! Mountains, beaches, shopping, cable car, Ocean World, 58 Cincocho cigar factory and museums......

So before booking ask your travel agent what is best for you....

Avez-vous vu le stand de la Republique Dominicaine? Fabuleux n´est il pas?

Venez nous voir a Puerto Plata ou donner de vos nouvelles ou questions a exel.service@yahoo.com

Bye Bye

Si vous venez prochainement a Puerto Plata et vous voulez decouvrir cette region comme un VIP prenez contact avec exel.service@yahoo.com ils vous repondent toutes vos questions et offrent un service VIP exeptionel.

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antartica - where do they go?

Wonder no more!!

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well maintaining a form pf compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing :

¨Freeze a jolly good fellow.¨

¨Freeze a jolly good fellow.¨

Then they kick him in the hole.

You really didn´t believe that we know anything about penguins, did you!?!

I called the incontinence hot-line¨

- they said:

¨Can you old please?.

Grandma & grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son´s medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.

The son said: ¨I don´t think you should take one dad, they´re very strong and very expensive.¨

¨How much?¨ asked grandpa.

¨10 US a pill.¨answered the son.

¨I don´t care¨said the grandpa, ¨I still like try one and before we leave in the morning, I´ll put the money under the pillow.¨

Later the next morning, the son found 110 US$ under the pillow. He called grandpa and said: Ï told you each pill was 10 US$ not 110US$.¨

¨I know,¨ said grandpa, ¨The hundred is from grandma.¨

Happy Feet est revenu, après une longue période a l´hôpital, avec plus de courage! Mes amis donnez-moi de vos nouvelles !

A redhead tells her blond sister:

¨I slept with a Brazilian.¨

The blond sister says:

¨OMG you tramp! How many is a Brazilian?¨

CNN just reported that BP replaced the oil well cap with a wedding ring and it has immediately stopped to putting out!

Does wine make you fat?

Wine does not make you FAT - it makes you LEAN...

against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.

Thought you´d be glad of this news.

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

¨Mom¨, he asked, ¨Are these my brains?¨

¨Not yet¨ she replied.

Happy Feet n´est pas mort sur la banquise de la vie. Juste qu´il a beaucoup de choses a faire, donc moin de temps pour ecrire des blagues. Bye-bye !

1. I don´t know why you wear a bra, you´ve got nothing to put in it!

- You wear pants don´t you?

2. Shall we try swapping positions tonight ?

- That´s a good idea ! you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

3. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

- Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

Like them ? Let me know I have more...

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets slow personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6.The student has a ¨full six-pack¨but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter´s IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn´t coming.

10. If this student where any more stupid, he´d have to be watered twice a week.

11. It´s impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1.000.000 others.

12. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is definitely dead.

Hope you like this (it is from a teacher private notice book, from the USA)

Judy got married and had 12 children.

Her first husband, Ted, died of cancer.

She married again, and she and Bob had 7 more children...

Bob was killed in a car accident 12 years later.

Judy again, remarried, and this time, she and John had 5 more children.

Judy finally died, after having 25 children.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said ¨Lord, they are finally together .

Ethel learned over and quietly asked her best friend Margaret.

¨Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?¨

Margaret replied.....

´i think he means her legs,Ethel...

Bambi, a blond in her 4th year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US Government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question then, finally, said. ¨That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware.¨

The police officer get out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.

¨I´ve been waiting for you all day,¨ the officer said.

The kid replied, ¨Yea, well I got here as fast as I could.¨

When the cop finally stopped laughing, he send the kid on his way without a ticket.

I will never hear church bells ringing again without smiling !

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Sana went straight to her grandparent´s house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied. ¨He had a hart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.¨ Horrified, Sana told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years-old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

¨Oh no my dear,¨replied granny. ¨Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhytm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.

She paused to wipe away a tear and continued. ¨He´d still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn´t come alone.¨

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend,he came swishing down the aisle and told us that ¨Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he´ll be landing the big scary plane shortly so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.¨ On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn´t moved a muscle. ¨Perhaps you didn´t hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.

She calmly turned her head and said. ¨In my country I am called a Princess and I take no order from no one.

To which ( I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat. ¨Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I´m called a Queen, so I outrank you.Tray-up, *****