Jon

I'm just very concerned, and not sure what to do about fixing my marriage. My wife routinely chooses to go out with the same girl over and over again, even on nights we have plans (I've been stood up by my wife at least 4 times in the last two weeks so she can spend time with her friend). She spends nights at her house, and she is with her so much I have actually asked my wife if she has become a lesbian (she denies it). My wife is 20, and used to be loving and affectionate. Now, she spends more time with her one friend than she does with me. I was recently gone for a month, and when I got back, she refused seeing me for the first two days so that she could be with her friend. Our marriage has its ups and downs, but I have always been loving and affectionate toward her, and try to support her ambitions. I've made mistakes in my marriage, but nothing as significant as cheating on her or anything that would be accepted as detrimental to a marriage. I pay all the bills with the exception of the $200 a month she puts towards rent (she reguarly has around $800- $1,000 a month free). I have been supportive of her school, and I am also in the military, so she gets all her medical for free.

Another reason I worry is she goes out to parties a lot with her friend, and I am not allowed to go. Not only that, but she refuses to tell me the location of the parties. The last time she came home from a party, she wasn't even wearing her wedding ring- she said she took it off so that she wouldn't lose it when she was drunk. A few parties before that, she came home with giant hickies on her neck (she states that this occurred because two girls straddled her and started sucking on her neck while she was passed out). I am not allowed to look at her phone, and she has become mean, ignorant, and plain rude. I am trying my best to save our marriage, and trying to please her, but it seems that it's never enough. Just tonight, she was at the state fair, and refused to bring me home a $5 portion of carnival food- yet she was able to buy her friend dinner, along with a $25 ride bracelet. I even offered to pay her back for the food. She refused, saying she didnt have the time, then that she didnt have the money to spend the $5 (turns out she had $100 in the bank). I pay for our dinners and movies when we see them, yet she couldnt spend $5 on me....but shes able to spend much on her friend, and over $100 on jeans from the buckle. She refuses to even sleep in the same bed with me. Am I just going crazy here?

I just need to know if this is acceptable behavior for a wife. I don't think it is, and I'm really at a loss for what to do with this situation. I don't believe in divorce, and she refuses counseling. As said said, the issues we have are 80% me, and 20% her. Sorry for the rambling, I just need to get this stuff out. Is this acceptable behavior for a wife? I don't go out and party or drink, or refuse to bring her things home- on the contrary, as I frequently surprise her with various food and starbuck drinks when shes at work.

Is this me or is this her?

Here's my situation: My wife of 2 years recently started drinking. Not a big deal. But she started by going to a male co-worker's party, and has now gone to his place once to two times a week for parties, for the last three months or so. The only time these parties happen is while I am at work (I am military and in the Air Force). Additionally, she is now smoking pot and spice (keep in mind that she is a CNA, and one positive drug test will cause her to lose her job). I've asked her to stop or at least slow down, but she won't. When I ask her what she does at night, her response is simply "hanging out". She rarely answers texts at these parties, and always has an excuse as to why she can't (phone on silent, dropped in water, phone broke, texts dont work, etc.). At one of the most recent parties, she apparently passed out and woke to two girls stradling her, leaving hickies on her neck (or so the story goes). She doesn't know when to stop drinking, she gets very flirty, and if one of the parties happens to fall on a day I'm off work, she prefers me not to go, as I'm "no fun".

The guy throwing parties constantly flirts with her at work, has called her "honey" on occassion, and they constantly talk and like each other's posts on facebook. She tells me I'm being too controlling and acting like her dad by asking her to calm it down. and I want to be fair. So, am I acting out of line here, or am I right to be concerned the way I am?

I'm playing a pretty good sized tour this summer starting in June, but my band can no longer go. My question is this: would playing the songs with a backing track (the full band songs minus my guitar and vocals so I can do it live) or simply playing acoustic sound and look better? All input would be appreciated! Thanks!

I really, really like them. Actually it's just one guy. But anyhow, I just wondered if anyone else has heard of them...when I bring them up nobody seems to have ever heard of them! And if you HAVE heard of them, what did you think of their music?

I was raised Christian and I used to believe in God. At one point, I led worship in a youth group and eventually even began teaching and writing the curriculum as well. I believed up until I was around 22-23, and then I just stopped. I began having hard times and started to form a Christian band. I'm not sure exactly where the turning point was, but I began to hate God because he refused to help me. I would pray for help with simple things, but nothing ever changed. I never got an answer, and usually things would take a turn for the worse.

Eventually I got sick of getting no response. I figured that I would try to upset God enough to the point that I got some sort of response or acknowledgement from him. So I started praying to Satan, with the intention of only getting God's attention. But I realized that when I began these prayers, things would just work. I'd ask for help with an issue, and I'd get it. Even things like losing my keys were no longer a big deal because, as long as I prayed to Satan, I would find them with no issue. It got to the point that these prayers would become sincere in a way that they never could be when I prayed to God.

Anyhow, here is my dilemma: It scares me that I feel so comfortable praying to Satan but I cant bring myself to even acknowledge God or forgive him for the horrible things he's made me suffer through. I know that what I am doing is wrong and that, at least right now, I'm on track to burning in hell. But to honest, I just don't care that I'm on this track, but I wish I did. I wish I could believe in God, but I can't. I don't trust him and as far as I'm concerned he's a kid on an ant hill with a magnifying glass and we're the ants. I don't know how to trust him or believe in him anymore. I've basically given up on him. My only thing is I don't want to end up in hell.

Does anyone have any suggestions? And before you post any, don't start with the whole "give your heart to god and repent" BS-- I'm a little too far gone for that. I need real answers, not cookie cutter answers your pastor gives you on sundays.

Thanks.