MaryBeth
Favorite Answer
To avoid having his poultry buddies give him the Asian flu!
Anonymous
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
Although perhaps the most famous of all jokes in the English language, this joke is a Non-joke, in that its humor value comes from the fact that it is expected to be funny. Additionally, it is rarely told on its own, but instead is referenced, modified, or parodied in a number of other jokes.
One of the many word-plays on the television series M*A*S*H was spoken by Hawkeye when the power-mad Frank Burns ordered the entire unit to move just a few dozen yards for no reason at all: "Why is this chicken outfit crossing the road?"
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: Because the chicken was on vacation.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road in Texas?
A: To show the armadillo/opossum how it's done.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip?
A: To get to the same side.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because it was too far to go around.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Colonel Sanders [of Kentucky Fried Chicken fame] was chasing it.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To see a man lay bricks.
In the film Stripes (done in march cadence):
Bill Murray: Why did the chicken cross the road?
(Platoon): To get from the left to the right!
Sometimes it is juxtaposed with another category of humor:
Anonymous
Dr. Phil: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "this" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "other side" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "current" problems before adding "new" problems.
Oprah: Well,
I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
Donald Rumsfeld: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
Anderson Cooper, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
John Kerry: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now and will remain against it.
Judge Judy: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
Pat Buchanan: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
Martha Stewart: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.
Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told.
Ernest Hemingway: To die in the rain. Alone.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good
enough.
Barbara Walters: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Bill Gates: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The platform is much more stable and will never ever, ever reboot.
Albert Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
Al Gore: I invented the chicken!
Colonel Sanders: Did I miss one?
Source(s):
was in my inbox =P
tabz_nate
That is a really difficult question and so I leave it to the great (and not so great) to answer.
Plato: For the greater good.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.
Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and
each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial
intent can never be discerned, because structuralism
is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.
Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.
Oliver North: National Security was at stake.
B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
believing these actions to be of its own free will.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came
into being which caused the actualization of this
potential occurrence.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic,
unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
Salvador Dali: The Fish.
Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from
the trees.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Epicurus: For fun.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
was on, but it was moving very fast.
David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
reason.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
availed himself of the opportunity.
The Sphinx: You tell me.
Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow
out of life.
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Molly Yard: It was a hen!
Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.
Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.
The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.
Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.
Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.
Othello: Jealousy.
Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have,
you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the
Need to resist such a public Display of your own
lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.
Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.
Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.
Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in
town ought never expose one to such barbarous
inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
chicken in question.
Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.
Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
to question the actions of one in all respects his
superior.
Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.
Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
misplaced concreteness.
Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen.
Hamlet: That is not the question.
Donne: It crosseth for thee.
Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.
Constable: To get a better view.
supergamecube14
To get to the 7-11 where they were filming the opening scene for ghostbusters 3. Unfortunately He got run over and turned into a ghost chicken and busted the ghost busters. Now who you gonna call? Well I'll tell you who you wont call, Linksys customer support. Does anyone have any idea what those guys are saying? They're off some where in india, and I'm just sitting here. No internet. Come on Linksys.