Married people only please?
Is there any couple out there still toghether that bicckered like hell over nothing for the first few years of there marriage, and if so how is it going now and how did you make it better any suggetions.
Is there any couple out there still toghether that bicckered like hell over nothing for the first few years of there marriage, and if so how is it going now and how did you make it better any suggetions.
Anonymous
Favorite Answer
My wife and I went through about 10 years of hell - disagreeing, arguing, hell, I even broke my finger hitting a wall!
But we were both extrordinarily stubborn. For some reason neither of us would give up on the marriage.
Then I did a men's weekend and got back in touch with a man's role in a marriage. After that things began to settle.
Now after 18 years of marriage we are in a state of continual bliss. Even if I do something stupid (which I do pretty regularly) she usually just laughs it off.
Marriage takes a while. You have to be tenacious and not have a back door. You made a COMMITMENT. That doesn't mean very much any more but maybe you could make it mean something to you.
Anything worth having is going to be a challenge. Otherwise you wouldn't want it.
FP
Lady in Red
We faught like a cat and dog. It's just getting used to each other's ways. If it's about stuff like leaving the toilet seat up and putting your feet on the coffee table, don't sweat it, you'll both eventually get so sick of it, one of you will give a little. Just make sure you're not giving into all of it, or you will become a doormat, but you better make sure to give a little bit, too. Ex, start putting the toilet seat down (trust me, in the middle of the night when she gets up, there's nothing that sucks more than getting your butt wet), but don't worry about the feet on the coffee table, especially if there's no one else there, it's not going to ruin it. If it does, a coffee table is just a thing that is replaceable. Try to go 50/50 on these.
However, if it's about something important, then it could be serious. Do you fight about what you want out of the marriage? Do you fight about having kids? In-laws can also be a HUGE complication. They can be a real deal-breaker. Trust me, ours almost ended because of the battles between me and my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Don't let this happen. Is there neglect/abuse involved? These are things to pay more attention to.
We're fine now (been married almost 4 years, fought the first 3)Good luck. Remember, eventually, you'll both learn not to sweat the small stuff, just make sure you're on the same page about what really matters.
Evalina Shezadreema
I've been married for 6 years, and we are now in our second separation. We are both a pair of stubborn, outspoken jackasses, and we've spent more time arguing than anything else. From this perspective, I'll tell you, if you love them, keep them. Someone once told me they spent the first ten years of marriage just trying to find the demilitarized zone. The DMZ is there, you just need to find it.
Did you really expect to jam two people together and have nothing but bliss? It's like crammimg a couple of cats in a box. But it can work out, if you are willing to try. Oh, and make up sex goes a long, long way. So does laughter.
Michelle
My husband and I have been married for almost 11 years. We bickered for the first few years and never stopped. We argue quite a bit but we love each other and don't want to be with anyone else. We even went to counseling for a short time and the therapist told us that many times it's the couples who fight, who have the stronger marriages because they are communicating. Many times it's the couples, who don't confront each other, who end up getting divorces. However, you should try not to hurt your spouse with harmful words but instead, try to talk about how you are feeling on a certain problem.
However, we're still working on that ourselves.
eagerbeaver88
Yes. Many couples do bickered like hell over nothing !!! There are couples bickered and still stay married to each other!! I think bickering is their form of communication wih each other, and as long as they are fine with this communication--it did clear the air at the end of the day--THAT WHAT's COUNT!!!! There are couples who do not talked to each other and take each other for granted--no sensitivity , no tenderness towards each other, cold and unappreciative in their thoughts and words to their spouse--this is the future statistic of marital breakup !!!To communicate to each other IS the most important activity of married couples beside sexual activity. Once sexual activity decreased due to old age,sickness,psychological and emotional setbacks--couples still do stay together because THEY DO COMMUNICATE.!!! They expressed their love to each other with full sincerity and honesty.Sensitivity,gentleness and tenderness towards each other will go a long,long way!!!!!.