I didn't think I would ever want a baby when I was younger. I am almost 30 now and my boyfriend really wants a baby. He loves kids and will make a wonderful dad. I would like to have a baby but am scared of pain at childbirth, and that something will happen to my kid or that I will not be good enough as a mother. I know it is all worth it in the end. Given a choice I think I would rather have one than not. Is there anything that you can tell me that will help me out a little? Please do not condemn me for feeling this way.
2007-01-20T15:46:44Z
We are planning on getting married. We will be fine financially. I guess I am not sure if I am able to make such a long committment to the new person I will bring to the world.
2007-01-20T15:48:53Z
We both work full time. His parents are elderly and mine are across the ocean. It would be just the two of us dealing with everything.
njyecats2007-01-20T15:37:10Z
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I will be honest, it is scary! I was 27 when i had my son. I swore no epidural.. yeah that lasted 24 hours. Labor was long and hard. After the epidural it was very easy. I was up on my feet within a few hours and had my baby out and about within a week. It was so worth it! I love my son, he's now 3!
Would I be willing to do it again, YES... in about 8 months. Am I scared about how to handle 2... more than anything, but I know I'll learn along the way. I'm also very scared of not being able to carry this baby, I'm just praying nothing happens
One of the best things is a good support system. Here are some questions to ask. Do you have a supportive husband/boyfriend? Are your parents or siblings around? Do you have friends who will understand?
Also, are you financially able to care for this baby? This is very important. Kids are more expensive than you think
You need to decide if you really want to have a child or not because it is a serious commitment and responsibility. You should not have a child just because your boyfriend wants you to.
First of all, I am assuming that you are not married because you said your "boyfriend." Even though your boyfriend may be a great guy, boyfriends tend to be less committed than husbands. I believe it is better for a couple to be in a loving committed marriage before bringing children into the world.
If you do decide that you want a child, then talk to some medical doctors about your concerns about the pain of child birth. They should be able to help you understand the process and what to expect.
As far as your concerns about something happening to your child or whether you will be a good mother or not, there are no guarantees, but loving your child is the first step. You will figure the rest out as you go along.
If you really want a child, talk to some doctors, read about child birth and pre-natal care, and learn all you can. You might even want to read about parenting.
I'm sure most first time mothers have the same concerns you do so don't feel like you are the only one to have these feelings.
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You are lucky that your bf wants a baby now. My husband and i have been together for 5 yrs (married for 2) and he still wants to wait. There are many different options with childbirth that will make it safe for you and baby. If anything does happen like a deformity or a learning disability you wouldn't love them any less would you?? You will be a great mother as long as you just love, care and teach them.
Getting pregnant is somewhat scary. Your body goes through a lot of changes. And it's not easy either. Babies aren't easy, period. You lose a lot of sleep, and basically any free time is gone. You never get alone time with your boyfriend, and relationships can suffer. Still, it's worth it. They have drugs to help you with the pain of childbirth. I was scared, I wont lie it hurts... but you get through it. I forget all the pain now!