My husband and I have had sex once in three years - his choice, not mine.
I have often thought about leaving him, but have a child (3 years old) who loves her father dearly.
we are of different nationalities and cultures - if that is important.
The Law
Favorite Answer
I have the exact same problem with my spouse. I have to say that I really believe that marriage is good for children. It helps them grow up with stability and they get a good perspective about working problems out. Three years is a long time to have an unresolved marital issue and I am sure you are very frustrated. If you have not tried professional counseling, then I believe you should think about a marital counselor, especially one that specializes in sex therapy. It is really rare for men to not be interested in sex, so that would concern me most of all. If you have tried everything you can, and are emotionally give out, then I would understand you wanting to move on.
luvlisteningtomusic
I do not care what people say but sex is very important in a relationship. Communication is the most important. Talk to your husband and ask him why he is not into sex. Was he into sex before you got married? Maybe he has a medical problem that a doctor needs to fix. My husband is 47 years old we have been married for 5 years together for 8 and yes our sex life and dwindled down some but we have sex 3 times a week not 1 time in three years. There are some men out in this world that have no desire for sex. They either are born that way or they have a medical condition or maybe he is gay or could be getting it elsewhere. I would really look into this and talk to your husband about this. I do not care waht nationality he is most guys are horn dogs and will find every chance to have sex.
Livinrawguy
WHAT?
I would look intro counselling ASAp to find out why he is not feeling like sex once in three years I would have ended it unless it was a medical problem and then I will love my wife
until death do us apart. This just sounds screwed up talk to him ask him why I'm wondering did he see the child birth maybe that has him all screwed up?
Just a thought once in three years and you have three year old?
I would have to say unless this guy is cheating or has extreme will power I do not know how he is going without sex for such a long time. I think most guys would agree with me when I say we like it as much as we can get it well most guys not all?
Has he ever had a problem getting it up? Maybe he has ED?
Is there a significant age difference? like say your 23 and he 53 anyways that may be a factor?
Did you put on alot of weight with pregnancy and didn't take it off maybe he is not attracted to you anymore?
I hope you come to a conclusion man you must be horny?
God Bless and Good Luck!
SuperDave
You are not alone my dear and there are many remedies for this and sex to some people does not make a marriage and usually it's the woman who says that. I am sure you have discussed this with him already or I hope you have at least told him how you feel and your intentions in this matter. So, her is my alternative solution and I hope you have an open mind.
As you might have heard, sex toys are all the rage. Women across the country are throwing sex toy parties, which tend to be a lot more fun, and animated, then Tupperware. Riding this wave, O Magazine columnist Lisa Kogan and sex-pert Hilda Hutcherson, M.D. took a trip to one of this country’s most well-stocked sex toy shops. From all accounts, this was Kogan’s first time even looking at a sex toy, much less purchasing one. She checked out a few vibrators, picked up a dildo, and tasted a strawberry cheesecake lubricant.
If you have your own special stash, I’ve listed below a few new novelty items that might interest you. But if you’ve never touched or owned your own sex toy, allow me to share why they can really help a woman sexually.
When you’re without a partner, vibrators and other toys help your body remember how to respond to pleasurable stimulus.
Enables women to orgasm with ease, something most women don’t accomplish when they are making love with their partner.
Toys allow women to experiment with their bodies, investigating new ways to feel pleasure without the added distraction of a partner.
Toys can add a note of fun and excitement to a relationship that may feel a bit stale.
Using a vibrator or playing with toys does not mean you are kinky or kooky – they simply expand your notion of what it means to be a sexual person.
Top Toy Picks
1. The Pocket Rocket, small enough to fit in your purse, this mini vibrator is powerful and versatile.
2. The Rabbit Pearl. Lou Paget introduced this essential item to thousands of grateful women. The Rabbit Pearl stimulates the clit while providing genital penetration. Oolala!
3. Shaft Sleeves – When you’re in the mood for subtle penetration rather than the whole of him inside of you, these tricky sheaths slip over your fingers (or his).
"Hunger never saw bad bread" (Benjamin Franklin).
Sincerly,
SuperDave
Anonymous
This is rediculous...once in three years? So, he is obviously getting it somewhere else and cheating on you. Regardless, you cannot sustain a healty, meaningful marriage and family if the parents are not deeply connected on many levels, where sexual intimacy is an important component. Of course the child is attached, but children are also adaptable. You are not doing anyone any favors by sacrificing on behalf of your child. Better to do what needs to be done now, rather than later. There are plenty of well adjusted kids coming from divorce. Make sure yours is one of them. You are just wasting the best years of your life on a losing situation. It is long past time to go.