Given this hypothetical situation, what are your feelings. You have fathered a child. The mother leaves you, taking the child with her. She has totally cut you off from her and your child. You were a responsible father, she left for her own selfish reasons. Father's Day is here. You see other parents with their children. What are your musings upon seeing other fathers being given the opportunity to excercise their paternal instincts.
I understand that this may not be a hypothetical situation for many, I would especially appreciate your responses. Your responses will be incorporated into a character that is being developed for a piece of fiction.
2007-04-25T16:39:25Z
Thank you gentlemen for your honest responses. I posted this question in different forums trying to get as broad a spectrum as possible. This forum was able to deliver the most coherent and articulate responses.
Anonymous2007-04-23T09:05:33Z
Favorite Answer
For me (I have 3 daughters) you have spelled out one of the greatest fears I have. We live in a society where fathers are often the unwarranted victims in a divorce or split...Thank God my wife and I have a good, healthy marriage! I also write novels...so i'll try to help as best as I can. I'm the type of guy who would actually want to watch the fathers with their children. In fact, I might even voluntarily go to a park or to a church or just anywhere I think dads might be with their kids. I would watch and hope that my child will find a positive male figure. It would probably, also, cause me to develop even harder feelings towards my child's mother. If you have more specific questions...want to describe this character so far...email me..us writers have to take care of our own. Good luck!
This situation has happened to me, but I fought for my kids and got them back.
Any mother (or any parent) who does this is incredibly selfish, at best, and totally evil, at worst. It's bad enough that the child doesn't have an intact two-parent home in which to grow up, but to take the child away from another parent is reprehensible. If this hypothetical question has any basis in reality, I hope you and your former partner see to it that the child's interests are placed ahead of the parent's.
This answer also serves for those parents that have to leave the immediate area for economic purposes. It is a necessity to be geographically close to your ex for the sake of your kids!
Strangely, I am in this situation and have been for the last seven years and I must say that The amount of anger, frustration, and depression that I feel when I see other dads doing daddy stuff is what fuels me to continue to do everything that i can to make sure that i see my son, knowing that he's out there seeing the same things but wondering why he cant do things with his dad just sets me off
the day she told me that i would never see my son again(by voice mail) I promised her that nothing on gods green earth with the exception of god himself would stop me and there was no corner of the globe that she could go to and hide
I had to become the person that I didn't want to be, but it got me where I wanted and what I wanted
I will be having my first visit with my son this weekend, It may have taken 7 years but, it will be worth every penny spent, every hour used,and every tear dropped, to know that I win,
her goal was to keep me out of his life,and away from my influence Now she has No choice, !!!!!!!!!!!
As a father I would still celebrate Fathers Day by placing the most current photo I have on my night stand and thinking about my child and praying that God will bring them back to me. If my wife left me I would not be lost as I have Jesus Christ but I would be hurt because I love her more then anything in life. She has stood by me in near death, in life and in my ministry and I would feel a void but I would never stop loving my children and always think of them on fathers day and asking God to keep them safe where ever they are. I would look at other fathers and pray that they can be the daddy to their children that God intended, and to teach them the ways of God. I would be happy that they have a bond with their children and show them love. I would wonder what my child is doing, what he is thinking or she is thinking and hoping that some day I will see them, hold them and be able to tell them how much they are loved. God is my leader in all things I do.
I'm a seventeen year old, but would personally regard myself a man and not a child because my actions and behavior merit doing so. Believe it or not, despite this commonly held belief that fathers do not care or are unimportant, most do and would feel devastated. I know some guys who worry about it. It is something I worry about. This idea that a father is a 'social creation' has permeated every corner of our society and it concerns me both as a man and future father.