I wanted to take a few minutes and express some concern. Recently I have read repeatedly how the fathers of children are considered “Sperm Donors” and “Dead Beat” dads. While I am aware that there are men out there who do not pay their child support, that do not spend time with their children, it truly bothers me that a lot of the people in the community automatically assume that ALL fathers are rotten. Personally, I am on my second marriage and have a child from my first marriage. While it is true that I do not have custody, it is also true that I spend anytime made available to me to spend with my son. Further still, is even though I have my son far less then his mother, I still ensure that I participate in school and extracurricular events, that I am in contact with teachers and doctors, and insist that he knows that his father is there for him – NO MATTER WHAT THE SCENARIO! I love my little man, so it sincerely pains me to hear people repeatedly bash fathers and would like to hear from the other good dads express their points of view. By the way, I pay my child support!
Anonymous2007-05-23T12:00:31Z
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Wow you are a really good dad. I do feel bad for some fathers that don't get custody for their kid, it's so sad to see. I have a friend that just separated from his wife and they have a baby girl. The thing is, that the mom is trying to let him see his girl, but he is too busy drinking and messing with his new girlfriend... but its sad to also see the dad's girl cry for her daddy. I know he loves her, but sometimes I wish he would do more about it. I wish more fathers were like you. I know some that are like you, and I know it's hard since you don't want to be with the woman , but with the one you both made together and love. I'm really sorry. I wished my dad wanted me. I have only met him twice and have tried to stay in touch with him, but he won't. I finally heard that he moved to Costa Rica... so now I can never see him again. I don't know why I care so much about him... maybe its because of that unconditional love for him because he is my father , he did create me... but I need to realize... that he was never there for me and didn't want me in the first place. I love my mother and my grandfather turned out to be a perfect male figure for me. I called him dad and i knew him as a dad, even though he was my grandfather. Losing him was the hardest and most difficult thing I have ever faced with.
GO YOU! I love good dads that love their kids. That kid is lucky to have you
First let me say good for you. Your small group of fathers is becoming so much more comin these days. I'm glad to see it. We were raised by a generation of divorced parents who got together had kids divorced and didn't give much thought to the kids. Until it was to late. Our men of this generation are getting better all the time. You also have to think that the people saying these things are bitter girls who were wronged and are taking it out on the whole male population. So generalizing all men as 'sorry' is easy to do. I personally know of many men raising their kids alone because of a deadbeat mother. No body can judge you but you. Well, God can. You just keep up the good work and love your kids. Soon they will be all grown up and raising kids of their own and you and the mom will be who teaches them how to do it.
At the point they are called Dead beats, or Sperm donors are at the point they weren't married to the mother, or they have nothing to do with the child.
My bio father is a sperm donor. Yes my mom was married to him when he made my brother and i, but he had nothing to do with us. Simple fact of the matter was that he wasn't a nice person and abused people , drugs and alcohol.
But i do know many many men like my step dad who adopted my brother and i when we were younger when he married my mom, and 21 yrs later he's my dad in my heart in my soul and in my mind. I love him very much. He's truely a father.
I understand, it sucks to be labeled and it's unfair. I have had both experiences, a real father who has never really been there for me, and a stepfather who is not biologically related to me but has been such an important part of my life. It really depends on the person, it must be really easy to not care and to just up and leave but mothers do it all the time as well...
Many people generalize feelings about groups of people espeically lawyers and the police. Be confident and secure in the fact that you are not one of the bad guys people tend to focus on. That's pretty much all you can do: prove them wrong by example.