How do I learn to assert myself?

Question

I grew up with arguing parents and also with a lot of idealism from church, various books, etc.  I always give in to others ideas and cannot stand up for myself.  I work too hard to succeed and to make peace--to make myself lovable. This has been like a coping strategy for me and I ended up with a 4.0 GPA through grad school, etc.  
But I am screaming inside! I want to be heard and respected.  I love the people I am dealing with, and am afraid to hurt them, am also afraid they will just tell me to go. I don't want to go (away from the situation I am in). I want to be respected. I am 40, professional, outwardly successful, inwardly a mess....!

soobielover26 · Accepted Answer

I myself share alot of the same upbringing as yourself and i can attest to the fact that it can be very difficult to stand up for yourself and say "NO"!!! Its really all about practice in your daily life, with people at work, with your loved ones (I.e. boyfriend, husband, whatever) And then as you become more sure of yourself just do it... You have to understand that the change wont come in the matter of days, it will probably take longer, i myself still struggle sometimes, but with practice it can be overcome! Good luck!

Bantree · Answer

You need to stand up for yourself, if you don't, nobody will. There is nothing special about the situation you are in now. So throw it over board if that's what will gain you the respect and recognition that you are dying for, but make sure you do not disrespect other people too.

How do I learn to assert myself?

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