my wife has a girlfriend and at first i wasn't fine with the whole thing but i thought i would loose her so i had a talk with the "girlfriend" and told her i cant handle my wife getting hurt so if that is not going to happen then i'm fine with the idea. but now i'm wondering if it would work out or if it would break us up? i love my wife dearly and don't want to lose her but i'm wondering who she'll choose when it comes down too that decision.
need serious advice...
♡LiL♥Kitten♡2007-07-24T10:25:45Z
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Look man if you seriously let you woman wonder into another's bed, it's over. She may say she loves you and when the decision time comes may choose with you but that bond is broken.
Sorry, got thrown off by a girl avatar talking about having a wife...congrats on getting married where it's legal for homosexuals to do so. ☺
ANY time a couple adds playmates or other "partners" to the mix, the risk dramatically rises that eventually the person with multiple lovers/partners will choose one over the other(s) and there's no guarantee it'll be the partner who was around first/longest/spouse.
You said you thought you'd "lose" (not loose) your wife and implied that you thought that would happen if you weren't okay with the girlfriend issue...if that's the case then you two aren't a good match anyway. Don't compromise what you really want by allowing a behavior that makes you uncomfortable because you think she'll leave if she doesn't get her way...if she does leave, she wasn't really into you anyway (so let her go so you'll be free to meet someone who is).
Marriage is a sacred and beautiful thing. Two people make a vow to be there for each other rather it be a good life or a bad one. If she is seeing someone else then, sorry to say but in my opinion that's like a slap to your face. You truly are devoted to her and love her so much that you would suffer through this just to make her happy and keep her in your life. Her dating other people shows that her love for you might not be as strong as the love you have for her. The best thing you could do it talk it out with her. Tell her how much you care about her and all the torment you're going through just to make her happy, but if she wants other people, then you must do what you feel is right. Good luck and I'll pray for you both.
This isn't going to end well, when the time comes for her to choose (and it will come because one of you will pressure her to make it), even if she chooses to stay with you this relationship is broken. You may always wonder when she is going to find her next girlfriend or boyfriend.
I'm sure she is a happy clam, she gets everything she wants and you and the girlfriend feels the pain of it when she leaves one of you to go back to the other one.
That is a bad spot you are in, and I totally understand that you love her, but you are not being fare to yourself. You deserve someone who will make you the center of her world. You should not have to share her with anyone. if you do want to sit back and wait for her decision, just be prepared for the worst...i don't mean to be so gloomy, but if she has looked outside the marriage for something new, it indicates a problem that may not go away. Even if she does choose you, she is obviously not happy with something, and who'se to say it won't happen again in the next bumpy patch? You DESERVE BETTER.