My son is 25, but way too immature to care for a baby. However his sperm didn't care. Now he has someone who
isn't even really a friend pregnant, 2 months worth. Her and I have become good friends, and the from the very first time I heard about the baby, I love her or him with all my heart. I feel as strong about this baby as I did my own. Maybe even stronger. Well she is having a really hard time. She quit taking meds for a brain tumor and for emotional problems, her mother has thrown her out of the house, and my son is staying with me. I have no way to get to her, as I have no money, nor car. My mom to be has had cramping and light bleeding, but so far the baby seems fine. Just in danger. My mom keeps telling me that some babies just aren't meant to be, and maybe it would be a blessing if the baby didn't make it. My son has made the same type of remarks. I love this little tadpole I would do anything for it to survive, and thrive. Do you think I should not feel so strong about my own grandbaby regardless of the circumstances. Am I being over emotional about it??
2007-08-17T08:25:02Z
Thank you all sooooooooooo much, you made me cry for all the support! I can't get to my soon to be little mom, all I can do right now is look for a place for her to stay around here, and pray. Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words, you can't imagine how much it means. may peace be with you all and Blessed Be
2007-08-17T08:52:10Z
if I could be with her, I would, believe me. I have no money, no one to borrow from, and no transportation. She is in a homeless shelter, and been checked out by a dr. She is a long ways away from me. I am currently searching for a place around here for her to stay. And no, if I let her stay here we would both be homeless.
NY_Attitude2007-08-17T08:15:31Z
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This is so sad! What is mom's prognosis? I don't think it's wrong at all to feel so attached to the baby. I think your son and his friend are really lucky to have you. I have a feeling that without her mother's support, they are going to need you, your strength, and wisdom to get through all of this.
Hang in there and take good care! all of you are in my prayers!
Here's a reality check for all three of you--- I think you are being incredibly selfish; it isn't your baby, after all, and it's up to the fetus's parents to decide what to do. The body naturally rejects a fetus that has something terribly wrong with it, so let this go. Another consideration is bringing a child into the world with the handicap of poverty is never a good idea. Add the facts that its mother has a brain tumor and is unlikely to survive, (even if she does survive, she's got emotional problems) and the father has no interest, you have a recipe for disaster. You clearly do not have the funds to bring up the kid on your own, either. Your mom is right. Wait until your son is mature enough and has a relationship with a woman (not a one-night stand) to get excited about a grandchild. Your son is a fool for not practicing safe sex; not just for the risk of pregnancy, but of STDs. I hope this teaches him a valuable lesson so it doesn't happen again! I don't like paying taxes in order to support welfare recipients who have the poor judgement to bring more kids into the world that they can't support, either.
Okay, first of all you are not being over emotional but I am slightly confused about the whole situation.
I will try to disect it and understand it as I go along...
First, you are talking about the immaturity of your son, this CAN change quickly with responsibility and when given enough positive encouragement. You never know how he will react to seeing his child.
It's wonderful you are such good friends and you care so deeply for the baby, if so, you must get her help. Either by a friend who can pick her up and take her to the doctor or calling an ambulance for her.
She is going to have to address why she stopped taking meds for the brain tumor, does it effect the child. How does she feel about a child being raised without a mother.... This is something she is going to have to work with, and maybe you can help her find an online support group.
This is where I get lost, you say "My mom to be has had cramping" I assume you mean, the mother to be (aka girlfriend of my son, my sons childs mother, the mother of my childs son, my grandchilds mother etc). If she is in danger (ir bleeding and cramping) she needs medical attention now, and if she is miscarrying it is posible it can be stopped if looked at right away.
Then you say your mother keeps telling you negative things in regards to the death of a child. Speak up, or keep her out of your life for the next little while. You don't need to be passing such fears to your son, yourself and the mother to be.
Your son might be going along with his grandmother. You need to help him learn to charish life, not death. This is really unhealthy (and 25 is old enough to have a child, he needs to step it up and be there for her...wherever she is).
You said you'd do ANYTHING for it to survive, ask a neighbour to borrow some cash, take the bus to see the mother and take her to the hospital. This can help both MOTHER and BABY survive. Do you think coming off the brain tumor meds would make her bleed? This need immediate medical attention.
I don't think you are being over emotional. I don't think it is a "blessing" for any child to die. If she is bleeding and cramping, she needs to get to a doctor. If she doesn't have a car, call an ambulance. I'm sure plenty of people have called 911 for far less important reasons. Be there for her. Encourage her to talk to her doctor. I'm sure their are meds that will help her emotional problems and not harm the baby. Maybe even counseling will work. The help is out there, just do the research for her and keep that grandbaby-to-be safe and healthy.
It is ok to love your grandchild from the moment of conception! That is a wonderful thing. The cramping and bleeding is what scares me. She needs to see a doctor. But as for your emotional attachment, just know that sometimes God calls his children home for reasons that we can't fathom. Any and every child is a blessing, it's not a blessing if one dies, I can't see how someone could say that. Even if she weren't ready to be a mother, there are so many other women out there aching to have children of their own that would take her. Hope this helps you, and good luck! My prayers are with your little grandbaby!