My son is 25, but way too immature to care for a baby. However his sperm didn't care. Now he has someone who

This is so sad! What is mom's prognosis?

I don't think it's wrong at all to feel so attached to the baby. I think your son and his friend are really lucky to have you. I have a feeling that without her mother's support, they are going to need you, your strength, and wisdom to get through all of this.

Hang in there and take good care!

all of you are in my prayers!

Here's a reality check for all three of you---

I think you are being incredibly selfish; it isn't your baby, after all, and it's up to the fetus's parents to decide what to do.

The body naturally rejects a fetus that has something terribly wrong with it, so let this go.

Another consideration is bringing a child into the world with the handicap of poverty is never a good idea. Add the facts that its mother has a brain tumor and is unlikely to survive, (even if she does survive, she's got emotional problems) and the father has no interest, you have a recipe for disaster. You clearly do not have the funds to bring up the kid on your own, either.

Your mom is right. Wait until your son is mature enough and has a relationship with a woman (not a one-night stand) to get excited about a grandchild.

Your son is a fool for not practicing safe sex; not just for the risk of pregnancy, but of STDs. I hope this teaches him a valuable lesson so it doesn't happen again!

I don't like paying taxes in order to support welfare recipients who have the poor judgement to bring more kids into the world that they can't support, either.

Okay, first of all you are not being over emotional but I am slightly confused about the whole situation.

I will try to disect it and understand it as I go along...

First, you are talking about the immaturity of your son, this CAN change quickly with responsibility and when given enough positive encouragement. You never know how he will react to seeing his child.

It's wonderful you are such good friends and you care so deeply for the baby, if so, you must get her help. Either by a friend who can pick her up and take her to the doctor or calling an ambulance for her.

She is going to have to address why she stopped taking meds for the brain tumor, does it effect the child. How does she feel about a child being raised without a mother.... This is something she is going to have to work with, and maybe you can help her find an online support group.

This is where I get lost, you say "My mom to be has had cramping" I assume you mean, the mother to be (aka girlfriend of my son, my sons childs mother, the mother of my childs son, my grandchilds mother etc). If she is in danger (ir bleeding and cramping) she needs medical attention now, and if she is miscarrying it is posible it can be stopped if looked at right away.

Then you say your mother keeps telling you negative things in regards to the death of a child. Speak up, or keep her out of your life for the next little while. You don't need to be passing such fears to your son, yourself and the mother to be.

Your son might be going along with his grandmother. You need to help him learn to charish life, not death. This is really unhealthy (and 25 is old enough to have a child, he needs to step it up and be there for her...wherever she is).

You said you'd do ANYTHING for it to survive, ask a neighbour to borrow some cash, take the bus to see the mother and take her to the hospital. This can help both MOTHER and BABY survive. Do you think coming off the brain tumor meds would make her bleed? This need immediate medical attention.

Best wishes

I don't think you are being over emotional. I don't think it is a "blessing" for any child to die. If she is bleeding and cramping, she needs to get to a doctor. If she doesn't have a car, call an ambulance. I'm sure plenty of people have called 911 for far less important reasons. Be there for her. Encourage her to talk to her doctor. I'm sure their are meds that will help her emotional problems and not harm the baby. Maybe even counseling will work. The help is out there, just do the research for her and keep that grandbaby-to-be safe and healthy.

It is ok to love your grandchild from the moment of conception! That is a wonderful thing. The cramping and bleeding is what scares me. She needs to see a doctor. But as for your emotional attachment, just know that sometimes God calls his children home for reasons that we can't fathom. Any and every child is a blessing, it's not a blessing if one dies, I can't see how someone could say that. Even if she weren't ready to be a mother, there are so many other women out there aching to have children of their own that would take her. Hope this helps you, and good luck! My prayers are with your little grandbaby!

Stephanie

hey i don't have any kids of my own but i have 3 nephews under 8 and one more on the way and 1 niece. i know how my mom feels about her grand-babies, she loves the babies as much probable even more than her own 3 lol ! know seriously everyone handles being a grandparent differently and i think you are very normal for having though feelings. and good luck with you situation and lots of prayers and healthy baby dust coming your way!! oh yeah i work with a lady that only has 1 son (30) and 1 grandbabie, she literally would do anything i takes to go see them. my friend B LOVES that baby more that anything!

I think its great this little person has someone who loves it already. I also understand the indifference your son and the baby's mother feels. Its allot of sacrifice to have a baby and an unplanned pregnancy is scary. They aren't feeling any rewards yet but they are feeling the stress of the pregnancy. I had an unplanned pregnancy and struggled with lots of feelings. The baby is here now and I love her to bits and would do anything for her. Keep supporting your son and baby's mom in a non-judgmental way and keep loving that little baby!

No your not too emotional, but if the baby doesn't make it its not your fault either. Like you said mom to be was on meds for a tumor. But the meds might have had an effect already.

Just wait and see what happens. Try your best but your not God and it isn't in your hands. You have my prairs and I am sure may others will tell you the same thing. Good luck.

i dont think it's wrong to feel so attached and want this baby to be born.. but unfortunately u need to prepare for the worse.. as a woman u should know the chances of miscarriage are very common especially in the early months.. just stay strong and i hope it all works out.. god bless

You are not wrong to feel so attached to this child.The Greeks have a saying,"the child of my child is twice my own". It sounds alot more poetic in Greek.Please don't worry Linda,If it is meant to be then nothing in this world will stop this child from being born.Pray and have faith,that God has everything planned and all things happen for a reason.May God bless you and your loved ones.