So a good friend of mine is getting married this weekend. She didn't ask me to be in the wedding party because they were paying for everything themselves & were wanting to keep it small. I am ok with that (although I did feel a little shafted, it's her wedding & her choice). So she calls me about a month ago about complaining that her MOH & BM fell down in planning any bridal shower or bachelorette party. Also about how much stuff she needs to get done & needing all this help & no one has stepped up. She makes me her "wedding planner" & my BF an usher. She also say we are welcome to come to the rehersal dinner. So I get with the bride's cousin & we plan it, get everything taken care of, have the party, every one has a great time. So i send her a text this AM asking details about the rehersal dinner & am told that told that we are no longer needed & because of problems with the groom's parents, we shouldn't come. Do I have a right to feel jaded?
tehabwa2007-10-02T12:25:27Z
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JADED?!
I'd say you were justified in being that word related to urination! (starts with a p, ends in ed)
"You've done all the work, so I don't need you anymore, so I'm uninviting you to the party."
"Jeez, uh, THANKS!"
Sounds like she shouldn't have invited you to the dinner, as she hadn't checked that with the hosts, but still, she could have put that a bit better, like not linking the disinvite to her having gotten what she wanted of you.
(I'm assuming it's the groom's parents that are giving the dinner. You can understand why they wouldn't want guests they hadn't planned on being thrust on them. People giving a dinner are not fond of guests inviting other guests. Hosts have that option, not guests.)
This demanding parties be thrown in her honor where everyone showers her with gifts is out of line, as well.
Miss Manners would NOT approve.
A lot of brides, I gather, have this idea that, from the moment of the engagement, they are some sort of queen that everyone has to bow to and honor at every turn, and they get to tell everyone what to do.
WRONG!
Being a bit cool would be in order, if you want to stay friends with her at all.
Edit after reading the other answers: Don't crash the dinner. Don't take revenge.
If you want, do go to the wedding and reception.
Don't do anything rash or mean, that will just make you look bad.
i would feel completely annoyed and pretty much angry. After telling her off, I would skip her wedding, go straight to the reception and hit the free bar hard, eat some good food, and leave before even saying congratulations lol!! Maybe your bf can play hooky on his ushering duties and join you at the bar.
Then a week or so down the road, send her a bill in the mail so she can pay you for your time and stuff you paid for for the parties (the rehearsal dinner should include you to thank you for all you've done). Odds are she won't pay, but at least you will get your point across. She isn't treating you like a friend, and she is being completely selfish. Then when the day comes for you to get married, you can return the favor!!!
And by no means do you owe her a gift, or even a dollar during the dollar dance.
Fell happy ... you got some great organizing skills now (or at least improved it) and space for a new good friend as this one is not worth thinking about any more for a single minute.
You know what? As her wedding is this weekend, go get your BF and go somewhere if possible. The two of you will have a good time and you won´t think about this misery on legs. Don´t feel concerned about your BF not acting as an usher on short notice. You got better things to do.
Lets all feel sorry for the poor guy she is getting married to.
She sounds like a bridezilla. I've watched a lot of those shows and am surprised they have any friends left after the wedding and that there was even a wedding. Seems like the grooms should have "hit the road".
You are a good person and did what any other reasonable and good person would do. You have every right to feel jaded but try not to let it bother you. Her behaviour is a reflection of her, not you.
Jaded isn't the right word for it hun - steamed, boiling, pissed, used - take your pick! Can't believe she would so openly use you & then toss you aside once your usefulness was over!! You have every right to be at the rehearsal supper as her "wedding planner"! Man, she's one spoiled rotten diva bride!! Hope you didn't buy a gift yet - let your services rendered be the present...that's more than she deserves. Do you at least get to attend the wedding, or will the grooms' parents have trouble with that, too?