If you have never had children and plan to foster would you throw a shower?

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Feel free to throw a shower for anyone who is expecting a child (by birth or adoption).

Foster parents don't get showers. Having grown up in a foster home, kids come and go, sometimes on very short notice (I remember hearing visitors after bedtime, and woke up to two more kids in the house). And sometimes they leave quickly too - we'd get off the bus and find the social worker there with whomever's bags already packed.

Don't throw a party to introduce the foster child - it's embarrassing enough to have EVERYONE know that you're 'just' a foster because your parents didn't want you, or were unfit parents or something, let alone a big party for all the friends of these people I have to live with because the court said so.

Just include them in everyday stuff - introduce them at church during social time "this is Jimmy, he's staying with us for awhile" or "he's my foster son". If you've already told everyone that you're planning to foster, you won't need the explanation. "This is Jimmy" will be good enough.

And yes, once they're settled, you can do the usual kid parties if you want to - a b'day party is a big event, once he/she has friends to invite.

If you know the ages of the kids you'll be getting, then yes, you can mention to friends that you're in the market for a highchair or crib or twin bed & a dresser. They will let you know if they see one at a garage sale, or will just give you theirs.

You could join Freecycle.org and within their rules ask for the equipment you need....Show more

It is definately tacky to throw your own shower. I have a friend that is in the same situation. She never had any children and decided to foster. I initially was going to throw her some sort of shower type party and rethought the whole idea. A foster child may leave you home quickly and would you have a shower for every foster kid you get? Why would the first one be any more special than the 10th? If you eventually adopt one of the foster children you could have an adoption party....Show more

A shower is to celebrate a joyous arrival of a child into a home with his/her parents, either through birth or adoption. A child being placed into a foster home is not meant to be a permanant thing, nor is it a joyous occasion. Normally a child being placed into a foster home, is a result of neglect, abuse, death of a parent, etc. This is not necessarily something to celebrate.

From my understanding from people who I know who are foster parents, they get money from the state for the support of the child. Why should their friends and family give them gifts for a child who may only be in their care for a brief period of time?

If a couple ended up adopting a child they were fostering, then I would say that a friend or a family member could offer to give them one or the couple could have a welcome to the family party for the child....Show more

No, I wouldn't. You aren't pregnant with a baby, you're taking a child into your home. It would be a bit strange.

You could instead have a party celebrating a new addition to your family.

Congratulations on fostering a child. My husband and I adopted a little girl (now five yrs old) out of the foster care system....Show more

No, one does not throw a shower for herself, regardless of what the situation is.

The more appropriate thing to do would be hold a party for family and friends to meet the child after he/she is already in your care.

Fostering is not the same as actually having a baby or adopting. Keep that in mind. If you do plan on having a party after you have the child, gifts would be optional for guests coming.
I do have to say, though, congratulations on wanting to foster. I wish you well! I think it's awesome to do....Show more