We've been dating for 2 years and I love him to death, it's not all physical but when we kiss I don't feel anything. Not romantic, turned on, etc. A boy I used to date a long time ago literally made me knees give out when he kissed me. Yet we only lasted 2 months haha.
Is this normal to not feel any chemistry when kissing a [long term] boyfriend? Can I "fix" it? Or should I be thankful for a good boyfriend and accept it? :)
2007-11-09T16:45:44Z
I'm sorry, what I really meant is that for the WHOLE time we've been dating I haven't feel a spark when kissing. It's not just something that is now happening.
2007-11-09T16:46:57Z
felt* sorry for the typo.
Anonymous2007-11-09T16:53:05Z
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Ask yourself this: Do you feel a connection when you do OTHER things? And by other I don't mean sexual. Just couple things...holding hands, laughing together, sitting next to each other, laying your head on his shoulder, or just taking comfort in his presence. Do you atleast feel the butterflies flutter when you think about him? If you answered yes to 3 or more of these, then you do have a connection, most likely a connection deeper than a physical one.
I had the same problem with my girlfriend (of 3 years). I realized that I worried too much about how I looked and stuff and wasn't comfortable enough to fully enjoy the moment. So, I calmed my nerves and reassured myself. I felt loads better. My self esteem was just getting in the way.
You could also try "experimenting" with different kisses. Believe me, it's fun to try and you'll get a good laugh with your boyfriend trying to do the Spider-Man kiss or something.
Yes it is normal to feel chemistry when you kiss. And without that, your relationship will die eventually. What's more, you DESERVE to feel that way. And no - if it is not there after 2 years, there is no "fixing" it. I am sorry about that, because it is sad.
Do not settle. What you have with this person is "like" not "love". And the longer you stay in an unsatisfying relationship the worse it will be for BOTH of you.
Break it off as gently as you can so you BOTH can go out and seek partners you can feel head over heels about.
Maybe you only love him as a friend. That happened with me and my old boyfriend. I felt nothing when we kissed, so we broke up and became friends instead. Good Luck. I don't think you can fix it. But I know how it feels to just want to be have a boyfriend even if there is no chemistry.
I don't think that is normal.. If you are with someone, and you are attracted to them, and have a strong desire to be with them, even when you kiss I think you should still feel that anticipation, the butterflies in your stomach feeling you did when you first started dating. My husband and I have been married for 3 yrs, and all he has to do is look at me and I feel such love, and desire for him, and I know he feels the same. I know you are in your comfort zone with being together for that long, but you deserve a relationship that leaves you breathless, that the both of you long for the next moment you will see each other, and sparks fly every time you kiss or touch. Good luck to you!!
Well if you want to have a physical relationship and don't feel the "magic" after two years, thats a sign to move on. You can remain good friends and socialize but you have to find the right one. I used to have a girlfriend that was real beautiful and perfect in most boy's eyes but sometimes a man needs more than good looks but a person to talk to. Overall, I say you break-up, be nice though, and become good friends with him. In the meantime, find someone else you like and would think it would work out with. Good luck!