I just got out of a really nasty relationship of over 3 years with a woman. After working a project with this man, I've begun to have feelings towards him. To my knowledge, I don't ever remember building a wall against having feelings towards men, I've just never had feelings for them. He is 32 and I'm 21, he has 3 kids, and I'm sure baby momma drama, and he used to date my friends sister, who just so happens to hate me. Yet still my feelings for him are still growing. What should I do, and is he off limits. I know I'm over my last relationship, but I'm not sure that I'm ready for another relationship. He is a great daddy, I've seen him with his kids, and that makes him that much more amazing.
What should I do, or should I just put him past me, and stop thinking men all together...
Does this make me bi? I'm not thinking about jumping in bed with him, but the idea of him holding me gives me butterflies.
Thanks all, Confused
Anonymous2007-12-27T12:07:21Z
Favorite Answer
its just a person. dont just dismiss him because he's male. if you like him, ask him out. there is nothing that says you can be attracted to both sexes. if you find that you're not sexually attracted to him after that, then you're just attracted to him cause he's a good person, and there's nothing wrong with that, you might find a really good friend that way. and what if you completely dismiss him, and he turned out to be the person for you and you never took that chance, just because he was male??? you have to at least give him a shot if you're at least entertaining the idea!
I say do what your heart feels. If you have the feelings for him then you need to pursue him. There are always problems in every relationship but in most you dont find out about them until a few months in. So at least you know all the probs up front. The only thing you should think about is that he does have 3 kids already. and if you do want kids later on in life is he going to want more? You never know if the relationship is gonna last for a long time. So think about things and maybe talk to him see where he is and what he's feeling. GOOD LUCK!
You might be bisexual, bicurious, or you could be homosexual. From the way you've described it, I think you have a pansexual attraction towards this man. That means that you are attracted to him regardless of gender. I don't see why you think he is off limits? You said he USED to date your friend's sister. If he doesn't anymore, she has nothing to do with the situation.
Just get to know him, see what happens. Try a casual relationship for a while, and see if you're ready to get into a long-term relationship with him, but make sure that he knows you might not be ready.
I agree with Mickey G. Take your time and talk to the guy. Don't be one of "those Lesbians". Make sure you don't miss out on a great relationship because they are not what you were expecting. Some of us ride the fence every time we become single again. I have had both men and women. I prefer women but if I am single and a guy is nice and we connect then I am open to suggestion. He and I usually end up as friends but that is me. Just let life happen and give him a chance.
thinking about jumping in bed with someone usually means your infatuated with that person but when you get butterflies thinking about him holding you that means love.
that's how i felt about my husband when we first started dating and honest those feelings haven't gone away yet. and now I'm 21 seven months pregnant and happy as ever.
you said your not sure about getting into another relationship, well there no rule that says you cant take it slow with a man. and if he is the type of father you say he is then he will want to take it slow also.
also would if this man is the one, are you really going to miss out on the chance to be happy for the rest of your life because your afraid of hurting someones feelings who hates you anyway. if its the friend your worried about, if she is a true friend then she will stick by you.....
I say go for it. every one deserves the Chance to be happy