What is your take on this??? Husband thinks I should cook every night and is ticked off when I don't!!!?
This ticks me off!!! I stay home with our daughter and do all the household duties I cook at least 75% of the time... Tonight for example I was out until he came home so did not have time... He made himself a couple sandwiches and was all ticked off saying the least I could do is make dinner and I usually do only I don't feel it should be expected... It makes me not want to cook for him at all!!! What do you all think??? He thinks I have it SO easy taking care of a toddler all day... Work was easier!!!
2008-01-23T16:49:40Z
Wow Conny you sound just like my husband!!! I did not think marriage was about being a servant!!!
2008-01-24T06:43:26Z
To make assumptions about me based on the fact I feel my husband should not EXPECT dinner EVERY night is ignorant... BTW I also have a 20 year old in addition to my 3 year old. (single mother worked 2 jobs... college... raised my son on my own!!! Busted ***!!! No help!!! Been there done that... This is second time around for me DEAR!!! You are ignorant... and ugly inside AND out!!!
2008-01-24T08:25:55Z
Sharp... Good lord it was not directed at you but at CONNY... But whatever... you should have said... "How long would it take your HUSBAND to open a can"... the thing that angers me is that 90% of the time I bust my butt for this household... Being a mother is a 24 hour job (as you know) It does not stop... My daughter woke me up 3 times last night because she is sick... Did my husband get up and care for her??? Let me answer that for you... NO!!!... I did... That is why I still feel he should not be upset on the occasional night when a meal is not sitting waiting for him... In fact when I was a single mother It was easier I had only myself and my boy to worry about!!! And no one to complain!!!
I love my pets2008-01-23T16:33:47Z
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You are ABSOLUTLEY right!!! I live your life as well. I stay home with three kidsand do all the ,washing, drying, folding, and putting away all the laundry,sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, dishes, dusting, making beds, cleaning bathrooms, cleaning counters, picking up toys, tidying everything, putting kids to bed, brushing teeth and hair, baths and showers, read bedtime stories, running around, shopping, paying bills and finances, and cooking. So yes some days I want a break, don't have time to make something, or forgot to take it out. My husband USED TO be a jerk about it until I stopped cooking for him all together. I made just enough food for me and the kids. After a couple of nights and a big blow out about his not wanting to participate in raising a family together he started helping out more, and even cooking dinner once in a while. He goes to work and deals with 1/4 of the things us stay-at-home moms deal with on a daily basis. How many times a day does your husband, on top of his usual duties, have to clean up puke? I had to stop cleaning to do just that today from my three year old. So the next time he wants to pull some attitude about dinner, remind him how so much more difficult your UNPAID job is.
Wow.It would make me a little mad too if I were you.I don;t have any kids just yet,I am 31 weeks pregnant & I do cook most nights,but occasionally I just feel so tired & he doesnt say anything like that.Usually he will make himself a sandwich or get get takeout.He used to be pretty bad about it though.We both worked (at the same place) 40 hours a week.When we got off work,I was expected to still do it all.After a while of some things just not getting done,we ha d atalk about it & he has done so much better since.Even now that I am not working,he still doesn't act like he used to..I agree with some of these other answerers.Quit cooking for him for a while if he is going to be that way about it.Just cook for you & the kids.Let him fend for himself.I bet it will help.I really hate it for you that he is this way though.I can't imagine if my marriage was like that.Good luck sweetie!!Maybe it'll get better..
EDIT-and sonny,Raising kids is a 24 hours a day 7 days a week job where his job is NOT..The child belongs to BOTH parents.So BOTH parents should work together in raising the kids.I see nothing wrong with a man getting up and helping his wife cook sometimes or clean or deal with the kids.It is his family too.Why shouldn't he?..This isn't the 50's you know..
A relationship should be about working together and appreciating each other. If you've been busy all day, then he should appreciate that you might like dinner cooked or get a take away because it would be easier for both of you.
Could you sit him down and have a chat with him and explain how what he does and says makes you feel and although you understand that he doesn't want to come home and cook either, you need to work together as a team instead of against each other.
you both work all day you at home him in his job ask him to do a role reversal maybe he will see how hard it is failing that get gone for a few days leave him to it he may just learn to appreciate the fact that your there at the end of the day then his dinner might not seem like such a big deal? he must have been waited on hand and foot by his own mother. Tell him if thats what he wants is a mother then maybe he should move back home. . I doubt when you met thats all he had in mind was a "cook mother to his children and a cleaner" tell him maybe he would like to cook you a nice meal for a change.
I have 4 children, run my own buisness, cook every night except the weekend, clean, do laundry, grocery shop, help the kids with homework, take them to school, pick them up from school and everything else! And I am divorced doing it alone!!!!!! Cooking is not hard, even if you make something simple..he works all day and you stay home with one child and dont work..Cook something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If that is pointed to me I also have a 9 year old son with autism! Ignorant, no I dont think so. Devoted to my children YES! When I was married even if I was in a rush I would open a can of stew and have french bread or something! My husband would fix his own plate but I would make sure that after 10 hours at work he did come home to have something waiting for him to eat even if I had to pick something up, he deserved that much after providing for his family! It only takes a few seconds to open a can! So the one who is ugly inside is you! Lazy, perhaps as well......If you dont like some of the answers you get dont post okay! Everyone sees things different and has different standards...But to say cant cook or dont have time, seriously how much time to open a can?????