My husband I have been TTC for almost 4 years. We are currently under the care of an RE and we are actively trying, clomid, bbt, etc, but nothing too high-tech like IVF. We have thought about all our options and have decided to pursue adoption at this time. We are currently looking for adoption agencies in WV. My questions are: has anyone else TTC and TTA at the same time? did the agency frown on this? any other info would be greatly appreciated.
2008-02-04T09:21:15Z
Thanks for all the answers thus far.
For the 4th answerer, wow, we are completely open to adopting out of state, we are just new to all this and not really sure where to start. Please email me with any additional info. Thank you.
2008-02-04T09:23:59Z
I think I should clarify one part of my question. Once we are signed on with an agency we will stop TTC, at least with the help of doctors, meds, etc. We will just have unprotected intercourse but without the BBT, OPK, etc. Just natural. The likelyhood of us getting pregnant this way is next to nill due to PCOS with anovulation and hubby's very low sperm count.
Anonymous2008-02-04T11:25:11Z
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I adopted a baby 12 years ago, after TTC for several years. The final time I went through infertility treatments, I was also already connected with an adoption agency and knew that it was my last treatment before continuing with adoption. The adoption agency I worked with did not know this and did not "permit" it. However, I knew that I wanted to "try" one more time and I also knew that on an emotional level I really needed to start the adoption process when I did. I spoke with the psychiatrist from the infertility clinic (it was required because I was undergoing treatment using a donor egg) and explained to her how I felt about needing to look into adoption at the same time. She was completely useless and thought I was creating a pfoblem for myself where she saw none. She did not feel I had any responsibility to the adoption agency, which I certainly thought I did, even though I was willing to act as I did in my own self interest. I was concerned about being paired with a perspective birth parent and only then discovering I was pregnant, and how that might effect her and myself as well. It turned out that I did not get pregnant so there was really not an issue other than my own in thinking about it. I certainly understand why adoption agencies do not want to be involved with women who are actively involved in trying to get pregnant. I did not feel good about what I did but I also didn't feel that there was a major risk. I must add that I am very much in favor of adoption as a way to create a family. It is in every way as wonderful a way to become parents and there are no health risks involved. Good luck!
Go for it! It was during my second IVF that I also signed up with an adoption agency. They saw it as no problem. The adoption came through for us really quickly and we had a baby in 4 1/2 months. The second IVF did not work, but a month and a half after we got our adopted baby, we conceived!!!! I will have two children 10 1/2 months apart and I will be happy for the rest of my life to explain how I had two kids so close together - that's a problem I am willing to have. If the agency you are talking to frowns on it, get a new agency. My advice is also to stay away from really large agencies. There are too many people and not enough babies. Find people you know, or friends of people you know that have adopted successfully and find out who they used as an agency. We used a small agency that was referred to us by a friend that adopted 8 years ago, and again, we got a baby in 4 1/2 months - caucasian and all.
I agree with a previous answerer that an adoption agency might frown on this if you cancel adoption plans because you became pregnant. My guess is that they may not take you as seriously as other Paps. So it depends on what your true intentions are.
I personally would not do this. TTC and adoption each have their own and very different emotions. That's a lot to take on at once. Good luck
Giving birth to a new life is indeed a blessing which almost every woman would wish to have. How to get pregnant naturally https://tr.im/8uNwq Enjoying the feeling of motherhood and raising a family would surely be a couple’s dream. Some get it naturally, while for some others things don’t seem to work as they desire. These reasons which stop a women from conceiving can be due to either physical reasons or truly physiological.
I think some agencies would think of this as a problem and some would not. I do think you should disclose this to the agency. I don't think the foster to adopt system would care at all, as long as you were upfront with them, because the kids in foster care really need parents.
Speaking for myself though, on an emotional level, I would not pursue adoption until I had mostly let go of the idea of a biological child. I say "mostly," because I don't think it will ever leave your mind completely. But I think it would be easier for you to commit yourself to being the best adoptive parent you can possibly be -- if you have loosened your grip on the dream of conceiving. You will be a better parent to an adopted child if your dreams are not haunted by the child you did not have.
I come at this as an adoptive parent and a woman who has experienced multiple pregnancy losses. I would be classified as infertile also, but I come at it in my heart more from mourning and loss rather than infertility. And I actually think it is perhaps easier to mourn and let go of actually conceived children. That is, maybe it is easier to mourn and move on from pregnancy loss than from infertility.
But you owe it to yourself and to your future child(ren) to let the dream children go, at least mostly, so that you can fully embrace the child(ren) you do have.