triad members, are you sick of hearing about "abortion"?
is it just me or is anyone else sick and tired of abortion being tossed around here? the simple "be glad you werent aborted" or "bless you for not aborting" blahblahblah..... did we not fight and plea to get an 'adoption' catagory? remember this is actually reasonably new. if all these people want to do it preach the evils of abortion, or for some, sing the praises of abortion should they not beg and fight for a catagory all their own where they can throw that word around all they want?
now maybe i am just tired and cranky, but i have had it with that being thrown in our faces. i am not grateful for not being aborted, if i was i wouldnt be here and so it wouldnt matter anyway. i came here to discuss, share and learn more about ADOPTION, thats why its the adoption catagory.
am i just cranky and mean today or do others feel the same way?
sorry if come accross rude, im just so frustrated......
2008-02-12T14:12:50Z
MrMyer: i see where you are going, you are right, if we are speaking of options then yes, it will come up. i am speaking more in terms of we get answers to questions about reform with the "you should be glad you werent aborted"
not even in the same ballpark. we want change, not lectures on what we should be grateful for from people that have little or no experience with adoption. your point is taken and accepted, but i wanted to clarify in what terms i was talking about.
Samone2008-02-12T05:19:41Z
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Yeppers
I don't think your being mean, rude or nasty either. Adoption has all it's own issues, and no where does abortion come into play in them.
Besides what kind of question is it to ask someone "Do you wish you were aborted instead?" SHEESH
LaurieDB: I am posting to comment on your answer b/c I think it makes a very simple yet strong, valid point. Anyone who is not adopted can not say for certain that their mother did not ever consider it at some point. Should they then be grateful? Say their childhood was a turbulent one...should they still just quit whining and be "grateful" they weren't aborted?
I am not adopted myself but I can understand everyones frustration on here towards the abortion thing being thrown around. I think that maybe the way you worded your point would really hit home with people who have no direct experience with adoption or adoptees. It throws it right back in their face, which, unfortunately at this point is what I think some of these ppl need.
Yes, I'm sick of seeing adoptees told to feel grateful they weren't aborted. It seems that people tend to see only 2 options for an unplanned pregnancy: adoption or abortion - as if parenting weren't an option - and adoption is considered the "good" choice. On the other hand, I kind of understand feeling grateful for a woman's decision to give her child life and place her child for adoption rather than have an abortion. My daughter's birthmother considered abortion. How could I not feel grateful for the very fact of my daughter's life? So, for SOME I do see that it IS a decision between abortion and placing for adoption.
I hope I haven't derailed your point, which I do understand. Please know that I would never expect my daughter to be "grateful" for circumstances which involve deep loss for her. No one is born with a debt of gratitude, but some people seem to think adoptees are.
Yes Rachael! Like you & many others, I'm here to discuss adoption. And adoption reform. The abortion debate belongs in the Political category.
Adoption is not the only "option" to abortion. Oh wait! Maybe that's the reason they've chosen this forum! It's the only option those posters can think of.
In any case, for many adoptees, abortion wasn't an option for our n. moms. Though available, it was illegal, expensive, and dangerous.
It's tiring to hear "be glad you weren't aborted". The comment is especially callous when said to someone who grew up in an abusive home.
ETA: Adore Him...until you have actually LIVED another's life, you really have no business deciding whether or not their life was/is worth the choices OTHER PEOPLE MADE for them. You really just don't get it, my dear! "Thankful for a life of abuse"? Well, sure...if YOU say so!
ETA II: Should we also say to all children who survive abuse, "Be grateful you weren't aborted!"...?
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