Reuniting with my 18 yr old, married son after almost 15 years?

Question

My son is 18, his younger brother is 16.  Thier father took them from me 15 years ago and ran off to Mexico so i could not get them, and was warned i would not return alive if i came for them.  I worked dilegently with the Hague Convention in Washington, D.C. but i only came to dead ends after 10 years of fighting for them, it was killing me slowly.  I had to let it go until one day i got a letter from Washington, giving me thier address and phone number of course i called immediatley.  I got to see them that night for about 30 minutes, they could not speak english and the younger would not have anything to do with me, not to mention his father and new wife made us stand in the rain to try and talk, i left heartbroken, i couldn't tell them anything that they needed to know.  Friday night after almost 8 years my older son was standing on my door step with his new wife.  I am so confused right now, I don't know where to begin to start a relationship.  We talked that night, and yesterday

Jamilyn · Accepted Answer

Wow, I got chills while I was reading that!!  I know it will be uncomfortable at first, but I think you need to keep meeting with your son and his wife.  Learn all about his past, his likes, dislikes.  Let him know how you felt when you weren't allowed to contact them.  Let him know the things you would have like to do with him and his brother when they were younger.

Teach him something!  Tell him about yourself!  I think it is a great sign that he showed up at your doorstep to see you! :-)

gale1 · Answer

Going to be difficult especially with his wife.  Do you have an old album of pictures that is where to start.  I would eventually let him know of your efforts to find him.  Show in all the documents.  How were you able to talk to him if he can't speak english?  Call some local Mexican American groups in your area and explain the situation.  I'm sure you can find an interpreter once you explain your situation.

Tony · Answer

hes not a kid anymore don't offer him tons of gifts and cash don't treat him like a kid don't call him son just tell him how hard you tried to get him back and how hurt you were tell him your happy that hes there with you and that you would like to be a part of hes life remember he probably came to see you against hes fathers wishes and that took courage but you also don't want him to just come take your money and run just talk go out for lunch don't try too hard or act like nothing happened i wish you the best with your new family

Anonymous · Answer

He is obviously willing to take you in and is very curious about the lost time you both have had. Just be considerate and let him know that he has never left your mind. Tell him the whole story and the truth. Let him know how proud you are. Just work things through slowly and don't expect to see results quickly. Just see how things pan out. Most of all always be honest and let him know how much you care.

Anonymous · Answer

AWWWWWEEEE.
this should be made into a movie.
this sorta sounds like the new upcoming movie made by the producer of cinema parisso, i think. oh yeah, it's called "under the same moon".

i think you should give him the best time of his life! i cried when i watched this movie "artificial intelligence" at the end because the [robot] son finally re-unites with his mom. i think you should watch the ending of the movie & do the same to your re-united son no matter what his age is.

aweee.awwe.awe.awe.awe

Reuniting with my 18 yr old, married son after almost 15 years?

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