Does anyone have views on the traditional roles in a marriage?

What are mens view on the Love, Honor and OBEY issue in a marriage? My Husband and I have a very traditional marriage, he is the head of the household and i am his Help-meet. I know it may seem antiquated, but our marriage is very fulfilling. He takes on financial needs, and protection of the family. I care for the children, our home and my husband. I make sure I budget wisely and all of my desisions are made based on the needs of my husband first and making his life easier, and vice versa for him. I find it wonderful to know that my husband finds his family so precious that he wants to care for us, and he is quite content to know that I am never working against him. It is never him, and me, it is we. Yes, I hear it coming , Co-dependency, Self -sufficiancy , and all of that good stuff. When did it become bad to take care of each other, be compassionate and respectful of each other, and admit that we need each other?

2008-03-20T07:07:51Z

There is not one thing about our marriage that is demeaning or about unequality. We each do what we are best at and acknowledge the best qualities in each other. Is someone who is good with French better than some who is fluent in Spanish? No,Equal ,but different. I don't feel demeaned by my marriage, you cannot imagine how loved I feel to know my husband is willing to work hard so I can home educate our children and so I don't have to deal with the daily strife.. As for nagging, it is honestly not a part of my marriage, I respect my Husband too much to ever insult him by treating him like a child. I have a husband who is respected at his job and daily praises me to his co-workers, who unfortunately have many complaints about their wives. He is always so proud to introduce his family and his wife. How is that kind of thing demeaning? I also handle financial management in our home, thus I mentioned the budgeting.

2008-03-20T07:25:25Z

We have been married for eleven years and have six children(5 sons and 1 daughter) , I cannot begin to describe what a blessing the Lord has given us!
God Bless!

2008-03-20T07:52:40Z

I certainly never meant to imply that my husband isn't active in parenting. I am sorry if I wasn't clear. He is an extremely dedicated husband and father. Everything he does is for his family. Our children are not chores to be tackled but people to be cared for, eduacationally, spiritually, and emotionally. I am privilidged to be responsible for them when he is not home to share in the fun!

2008-03-20T10:04:29Z

I, actually ,am quite happy. I only asked because I simply don't understand the unhappy marriages I see around me. I am perplexed to hear people say(which I hear frequently) that they don't need their husband or wife. How must this make a man or woman feel? I would hate to be told that I am dispensable.
It's truly a matter of sadness as I look on and see all of these people who are " of no value". I think men are particularly vulnerable to the , how can I put this delicately, immasculization , of todays society. I hear friends cry out that they don't need a man in the same breath that they use to say there is no good man left. I have 5 sons and I want them to experience the respect my husband recieves. ( I want my daughter to recieve the feeling of being cherished.)I think women need to give the man back what is rightfully his and recieve what is rightfully hers.There is nothing more valuable than a good woman or a strong man.
That is what compells my question.

The Voice of Reason2008-03-20T07:17:52Z

Favorite Answer

That is the way marriage was intended. When couples stay inside God"s will, things do work smoothly!

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Anonymous2016-04-09T13:04:53Z

Traditional can be defined in two different ways. When many people use the word 'traditional' they mean a husband going out to work while the wife stays at home and looks after the kids. It is quite possible to have this kind of relationship and yet be equal. However, the word 'traditional' is also used to define a relationship in which the man is head of the family, has the final say in decision making etc. This is in fact an older 'tradition' than the first one, because a great many women had to work in past times even if they were married and had children, but were still considered to be subordinate to their husbands. I regard the second description as a more acurate description of what 'traditional' means.

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brooke.logan082008-03-20T07:11:24Z

Its not bad to care for one anothers needs and put it each other first, I do however think it should be balanced. Which it sounds like you and your husband have managed to do quite well. But some people are not so lucky to have balance, and it usually turns into one person doing all the caring, and loving, and the person on the recieveing end expecting and demanding it as if its their right of passage to be catered to without offering anything in return, and that is where the problem comes in. It lowers self esteem and it sends the wrong message to the children in these families

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The Naughty Librarian2008-03-20T07:42:21Z

I think it's very important that the roles of the husband and wife be clearly defined. Whether or not they are the traditional roles is up to the couple. If both are equally in charge of every aspect, there would inevitably be a lot of unnecessary bickering as everyone has their own way of doing things.

Traditional roles were no doubt defined by the limits that we no longer have. Women took care of the children and home because bottles and formula didn't exist and providing for the family consisted of hard physical labor. That role was filled by the man, not only because of greater physical strength (in general) but also because that type of work couldn't be done by a pregnant or nursing mother. Therefore it made perfect sense at one time to define the roles by sex, but that is no longer necessary.
In my situation, I would not be content to stay home because I've been taking care of myself and my children financially and have come to enjoy working outside of the home very much. Also, with my background in accounting, I would most likely take charge of the finances or they would be split a specific way.
I know there are people who look down on your type of situation, but there are reasons why it works and everyone should do what works to maintain a secure and loving environment for raising their children.

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BillyTheKid2008-03-20T06:47:59Z

What you are doing is wonderful. What matters is that you have a mutually loving, respectful relationship, howver you define the roles. You are providing a loving, stable home for your children and there is nothing more important.

Sometimes traditional roles work and sometimes not. Depends on who you are. However, they did not get to be TRADITIONAL because people tried it and found out it doesn't work. It's worked for millenia and therefore became tradition.

Humans are not solitary creatures. They are social creatures and work best in pairs and groups.

Who cares if it seems antiquated? Antiques are very valuable!

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