PLEASE HELP !!!....Serious Issue With Daughter Here !!!?
Ok,I have a 15 yr old daughter whose body has 'really developed' over the past year,and I have noticed a major difference in her personality lately as well,and it's only when my wife is gone.She prances around the house all the time with nothing but her underwear and a t-shirt,but just around when her mom comes home,she runs and gets dressed.She has been wanting to sit on my lap when we watch TV.She asks for massages every now and then,and wants to give me one in return.Last week, when my wife went to her sister's for the night,she came into my room at night and wanted to sleep in my bed because she had a bad dream.She's 15.But the weirdest part is the other day,when we were running late to go to a basketball game,she mentioned that we could take a shower together to save time,and when I didn't respond,she said real fast,"I'm just kidding Dad". Am I just being paranoid or what ? I don't want to confront her and make a big deal about it if it's nothing.Please help.Only serious replys
2008-03-29T05:55:22Z
I workout at least 5 times a week,and lately, she always likes to watch me when I do,and is wanting to feel my 6-pack. Also,every few months,I go camping up in the mountains(always by myself) to fish and just get away for a few days.She has been asking me if she can go too(she's never liked the outdoors).I said alright,we'll see when mom wants to go,and then she asked if it could just be the 2 of us instead.I am feeling more and more uncomfortable around her. Am I taking too much into this ?
Does it have anything to do with the age gap ? I'm 32,my wife is 34.We had her when were relatively young.Has anyone experienced anything similar to this ? We have a good relationship,and I don't want to strain it by bringing up something that might make it weird around us,and I don't know how my wife might react.Please help !
euhmerist2008-03-29T06:36:00Z
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You HAVE to let this girl know in a kind way that certain behavior is inappropriate but that the feelings behind the behavior are normal and natural. All of this without hurting the girl's feelings.YOU have to be VERY careful yourself. You wouldn't be the first guy in prison for allowing something to happen with his own daughter. A good way to deal with her wanting to "feel your abs" is to say, " You already have honey and if there were other people around they would think bad things about that". You have to make MORE clear your love for her mother. People don't realize that the relationship with the spouse IS the most important relationship in the family. If either you OR your wife thinks the relationship with the child is more important then the family disorder occurs known as espousing the child. It is a CROSSED relationship. You have to talk and express your love to the girl, the love you feel for your wife. You can even say something that your love for your wife noticed about her, then ask, "Don't you think so?" You have to be careful that she does not become her mother's rival. If she does, she would not be far from making a situation that you will be compromised in. You could wind up in prison for a long, long time. People (jurors) always believe the worst. Ask the girl how hurt she thinks her mother would be if she thought you were cheating on her. Then MAKE IT VERY CLEAR THAT YOU COULDN'T DO THAT! But get her thinking about her mother's feelings. And TRY to approach the subject with your wife. It's actually a good thing she thinks her Dad is a good mate. Of course the guy she eventually picks will probably be so much like you you'll hate him right off the bat!
Honestly, you're not going to get the best advice on here. Most of these answers are from folks who are kids. I'm 30 years old, and I can tell you girls will always have strong emotions towards their father. But, her actions are getting a little overboard. Yes, it will get awkward if you bring it up. Don't do that. But give her subtle clues. For an example, if she ask to take a shower with you again, tell in "No!", in a calm and demanding voice. If she walks around without clothes, tell her in a calm and demanding voice, "Put some clothes on, now!" You have to be a father. If you don't say anything, it might give her the impression that you like it. She'll grow out of it. She's 15 and she's developing strong sexual emotions, which have a lot to do with estrogen. Her body might be getting to much. She needs some sort of exit to vent out these emotions. So if if doesn't work with her father, she'll get the attention somewhere else. In which, you have to keep an eye on because she can wind up hurting herself. Have a woman close to you other than you wife; your sister, or a friend, talk to her about her sexual emotions, but not in a way that will set off signals that you told on you daughter. Watch the movie "Eve's Bayou." It's about a daughter who likes her father sexually because there are hidden problems on the inside that's bothering her, and she's too young to understand. He stopped her from doing that the wrong way, and things went wrong. Great movie! Hope this helps.
No you are not being paranoid sometimes this happens to some kids that grow up to fast also I would be careful that she is not left with you too long because she can say you did stuff to her when you didn't or did Tell your wife that you guys need to talk to her about this encourage her to go with friends to the movies, mall, etc. however you really need to talk to your wife it might be that your daughter is interested in you because she feels the need to be sexually active have her see a shrink to see what is bother her maybe mom isn't spending as much time with her as she use to maybe have mom talk to daughter about sex again and tell her that dad is off limits unless daughter is doing this to get something in return like a part with all her friends at the house and is going to use this like a weapon. Get her help now before it's too late and it gets too out of control.
To be honest, I don't know if there is any "right" way to approach this. Your daughter obviously admires you, but not in a way that is healthy.
I know that this will be a hard issue for you to bring up to your wife, but I think it's something she really needs to know. I would want to know if my daughter was behaving that way. And you are not being paranoid, that is very strange behavior.
But anyhow, you really need to bring it to your wifes attention so that the two of you can approach the issue together. Your daughter is getting to that sexual exploration stage, she probably has a lot of changes going on in her body and new feelings that she didn't have before and she's more than likely having trouble sorting them out. And it needs to be approached, you never know, something could have happened to her at a friends house or at school and she may be very confused and just needs a little bit of help. Look into it.
Truthfully I don't think you are being paranoid. This is strange behavior for a 15 year old girl, but in this point of her life there is probably a lot of pressure on her to be acting the way she is acting. Maybe pressure from friends and maybe even things she sees on TV. I am 15 years old myself and I kind of see where she's coming from. Maybe she feels that she needs to act sexual and maybe even be sexually active. It seems like she is attracted to you in more than one way. I think you should tell your wife what has been going on and how you feel about all of this. I also think you should talk to your daughter about this, but personally if I were to do something like this I would be embarrassed to actually talk about it. It may actually turn out to be nothing so be careful. You have the right to be concerned about your daughter's actions.