hi everyone, i'm new on this website i just happened to search for "baby" on google and this link came up...its great to be on a page where people are going thru the same experience as i am. well i'm 18yrs old and 22 weeks into my pregnancy is when i found out at i was pregnant.. that amount of time passed bcus my periods are usually irregular so for the 1st 3 mths i ignored that vital sign, then in the 4th month my belly started to look kinda larger than normal but i just thought i was eating too much junk foods an i noticed that if i sucked in my belly it would appear normal so once again i ruled out pregnancy. in the 5th mth is when i finally decided to take a test and that when i found out. my baby's daddy is my age, in school and is just acting normal, when i told him about it he thought i was just trying to get back together with him after all i broke up with him bcus of a rumor i heard (STUPID DECISION) anyways he isnt denying it but he hasnt accepted it yet, he does even call me to see if im ok...Furthermore my father and mother dont speak to each other, an he thinks she is a bad influence since she had me at 19 yrs old, he isnt talking to me now as he knows i'm pregnant, i mother is but she is a single parent of 4 kids (myself included) so i dont want to place the strain of caring for a child on her....where i am going to get money from to care for another human being????
people say pregnancy is a beautiful thing, is it really? since i've found out about my baby:
1. people at school started avoiding me an whispering behind my back. this caused me a A+ student to drop out
2. members of my family talk behind my back. some dont talk to me at all like my dad, some are constantly lookin at my stomach
3.my girlfriend's mother told her she doesnt want me to come over to their house anymore bcus i am a bad example
4.my ex doesnt even want to accept this baby
5.i cant even take a walk out the road without neighbours staring or whispering therefore i stay inside 24/7
6.my weekend job $$$ has to go towards buying baby stuff
7. i cant go to parties with my friends, while my ex parties his life away....
it is so unfair, i hardly smile anymore accepts for when he kicks me an i've got no one to talk to unless i'm talking to my baby...
replycs2008-04-01T08:42:09Z
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Pregnancy is a VERY beautiful thing in the right environment! I had 5 children all of them born into a loving home.
You are living in a nightmare situation and you expect the world to "make it right"?
The father of this child seems like a real winner and rather than blame yourself for not taking precautions when have sex with this moron, you now think that because your mother was pregnant at 19 that she is some how genetically responsible for your stupidity!
1/. Give you head a good shake.
2/. Start thinking about the baby and not yourself.
3/. Have a paternity test performed and make sure the father pays for his 30 seconds of “fun in the sun”!
4/. Yo uare 18 not 80! Party after the baby is born, get your figure back and make the "jerk" green with envy!
5/. Who gives a damn what other people think at school? Keep studying and get an education so that you can take care of your son or daughter and teach them the right way to live in society.
Well, I know what you're going through. I am 19 years old & am 23 weeks pregnant...it was very VERY unexpected. I decided to keep my baby, and the father doesn't think it's his, so won't be involved until after the baby is born and there is a DNA test.
I have lost pretty much all of my friends, except for 2 or 3 close ones. For a lot of people pregnancy IS a beautiful thing, but for teenagers it can be a bit different. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I'm not excited for having a baby, because I am. But, we have more to worry about than the typical family.
I had to drop out of my second semester of college, just to I could get a full-time job. I noticed that you said you dropped out of high school? Well DO NOT do that! You'll never get a half-decent job without your diploma! Talk to your principal and see if they will let you back in! If not, get your GED.
There is a lot of assistance you can get from the state if you are pregnant, and once the baby is born, you can recieve child support from the father. Call your local human services department, and ask them what assistance is out there for you..it's different in every state.
I feel your pain about the partying. For the past 4 months, I have sat at home on the weekends while my friends have been out having fun. But when you look back you think what a waste it really is.
People will talk about you. They have nothing better to do than talk about other people. Try and don't let it get to you..as easy as that may sound, it's hard. I struggle a lot with it.
I have been told by a friend who is our age, and just had a baby that, "once you look into her face, everything changes. You don't care about what you missed out on, or that people talked about you. Now you have unconditional love. That baby needs you and you will always have someone in your life that is yours."
Life is long, sweetheart. Right now you might feel like everything that is going on is an overwhelming mess that is never going to end. One of the things that you can count on in life is that everything, EVERYTHING ends. If you're having trouble coming to terms with your current situation, think of yourself as a 50 year old woman, after all these problems have been resolved and you've worked through everything.. That 50 year old woman won't be caring about who was mad at her, which friends she had in highschool, which neighbors were acting like jerks... all she's going to care about is whether she made the right decisions for HER. You've been dealt a hand that could have happened to ANY of your neighbours, any of your classmates.. ANYONE. It just happened to you. Everything happens for a reason, just sometimes it takes a while to see that reason. Wait to see the reason. This same thing happened to a really great friend of mine. She had a falilng out with her dad, her family was under a lot of strain, the baby's father decided to be uninvolved with the pregnancy... she was feeling helpless and hopeless. We are now 24 years old, 6 years after she gave birth. Her life now is awesome. Her family is completely back to normal and very happy, her and her father have a wonderful relationship again, she has an AMAZING kid, she has a supportive, committed and loving new boyfriend, she has great new friends and some old friends who were supportive during her pregnancy, and she has life experience and confidence that only comes from navigating through a desperate situation, and coming out of it with everything that matters to her in tact.
Babies are a miracle, you are a miracle, and your life is a miracle. Nothing matters more than life. You will be a wonderful and strong person in the future, so look forward to it! The future is bright. Look ahead and do what's best for you..
There are so many young women like you who are in your same situation. There are support groups if you have trouble coping, and need to talk to someone in a similar situation.. You should go back to school though, that will help keep you focused, will give you a distraction when you need it, and it is the best thing for your future. You can do it! Be a survivor, and never give up!
It's time for everyone concerned, to stop pointing fingers & accept the fact that you're pregnant & that's that. I know it's hard to ignore the ignorance of people, but you have to, so you can truly enjoy your pregnancy. People are going to whisper & gossip, but let them, they have no life & have never stopped to think how they'd feel, if they were in your shoes. I'm sorry you felt it necessary to drop out of school, because it probably gave the gossips/finger pointers, a great sense of satisfaction. It doesn't really matter what people say or think where you're concerned, does it? Are they feeding you & paying your bills, if you have any? Are they buying all the baby layette, etc.? What gives anyone the right to judge you? You aren't the first person to become an umarried mom & you won't be the last. I'm really sorry that your family, of all people, are not there to support you during these difficult days for you. One would certainly expect family to be there for you, unconditionally. I hope in time, they give you the love & support you need. Don't allow yourself to be a prisoner in your own home. You need to get out & get some fresh air, get some daily exercise, see people, & put that smile back on your face. If nothing more, go to the mall & sit in the Food Court & enjoy lunch & do some people watching. It'll get your mind off things. You have a beautiful life inside of you. Just focus on all the love you have to give this little angel. I'm sorry that your ex can't even be man enough to be there for you, support you, & help you out financially. He may think he's living the happy life, but he will be paying "child support" until the baby turns eighteen, so he will have to face his responsibilities real soon & make sure he does. You should speak to someone at the Medicaid office, to see if you qualify for it. There is a WIC program that is a blessing to people like you. You can go to the stores that honor WIC & buy formula, baby food, etc. You can also buy food for yourself. Please check into it. Whenever you start to feel sad, think of your baby, & that should make you feel happy inside. Take care of you & make sure that you don't miss any of your doctor's appointment, as it's very important that you go to each one. Happy days are ahead, so hold your head up high & you'll be fine. :)
I would suggest looking into a young mother's group, just about every community has something for people in your situation.
But, adoption is always an option as well, if you decide you do not want to keep this baby, it won't be easy, but sometimes it is the best decision for everyone involved.
I agree that is IS unfair that people treat young and/or unmarried pregnant women negatively, but that is not your baby's fault. You are not the first women to be in this situation, just because your ex-boyfriend and friends are total idiots, not to mention jerks to not support you does not mean you are destined to go through this alone for the rest of your life.
YOU chose to drop out of school. Someone else's behaviour made that decision easier for you, but it was ultimetely YOUR decision. And if you dropped out of school (which is never a good idea) then you should be able to turn your "weekend" job into a full time one, right? And YOU are choosing to stay inside 24/7, who gives a crap what your neighbors think?! Yes you are young, but you ARE a women, and if they have a problem, well then that's THEIR problem, STOP making it yours! Please, get some support from a young mother's group so you stop feeling so stressed about everyone who wouldn't know a single thing about being in your shoes, and how they feel about your baby. I personally would give them all the finger.
Do what is in your heart. If you want this baby then you will do what you have to do to make it work, you have come up with a pretty good list of why having a baby/being pregnant sucks, why not try to come up with a list of some positive things?
If you can't then maybe you need to consider your options.
I know it sucks, and I know it is unfair, but you are here now and need to act the adult, take responsibility for your actions (it does take 2 to have sex) and make some decisions instead of playing the victim. Because you are right, it is not going to work, it will be impossibly hard etc, IF you continue the way you are going now, instead of making some changes and getting your life in order.
Please understand, I am NOT judging you, just hoping to drop a little reality into the situation. I feel for you and wish you ALL the best, but nothing good is going to come of this if you don't stop feeling sorry for yourself and get moving and take control of your life.