Help, please please help.?

Question

It's my 18 year old son...He has always been a 'problem' from the word go and I have met brick walls along the way in trying to get him help as he has ADHD and OCD.  This isn't an excuse for his behaviour I know.  It's getting worse and worse.  He looks at things in an unbelievable way - for example.  I left him a note to say that I had moved his motorbike into the front garden as we have workmen outside and it would have been in the way when they turned up.  I didn't want him to think the workmen had moved it.  When I went home at lunchtime he was there and shouted at me for leaving him a note like he was a little kid.  We have a puppy dog and when I arrived home the front door was open.  I asked him where the puppy was as he is usually left in the kitchen.  He said he didn't know where the puppy was so I told him about the front door being left open.  Luckily we founf the puppy safe and sound under the table but he had no idea where he was and said - 'He won't go out'.

ordinary · Accepted Answer

Ok what you need to do is to go down to your local police station and explain the entire situation. They can give you advice or  arrange a restraining order and remove him from your home. They can even arrange an order for him to be committed into a psychiatric hospital for a temporary basis, 28 days i think if you are in the uk.

I know he is your son and you might feel bad doing this but you would be probably be doing you both a huge favour, he needs to grow up and you need to live in a safe and happy environment.

semoangel70 · Answer

First if you really want him out then pack his stuff set it on the front porch and change the locks on the house, before you do so go to the police department and file for a restraining order against him tell them what time he will be home and have them meet him there to serve the order and to remove him from the property.  Extreme yes but it works.  you could also call them about getting him involuntarily committed for a 72 hour hold.  It will take you and one other person to say you feel he is a danger to himself or others and they will hold him for a mental evaluation for 72 hours and if they determine he needs help they can longer and during this time you can make arrangments to get him out of your house.  Yes he is your child and as a parent you will always love him but there comes a time when you have to decide what is best for you and the others and living like this is not it.  it does not make you a bad parent because you feel the way you do.  Your son is an adult now and it is time that he starts to accept life and get the help he needs to function as an adult in society.  you raised him for 18 years and got him to adulthood now it is time he acts like one.  Threatening to burn you out shows he has severe mental issues and the longer it goes without help the worse it will get.

workinginalab_wontbeback · Answer

Unfortunately,  there are many families that are dealing with this kind of problem.  Without knowing whether he is functioning normally in other areas,  such as school and work,  it's hard to say whether this is a behavior problem or mental instability.

Either way, it sounds like you are being emotionally blackmailed by your son to provide a roof over his head and freedom to do whatever he pleases there.  I would seek help from a counselor or an attorney as to what your legal rights are in this matter. There may be ways to have him physically removed from the house  by authorities.  If you feel that you are in danger,  that should be your first priority. 

You are not doing him any favors by letting him continue in this way,  the loving thing to do is show him that everyone must be held accountable for their behavior.

tnwgdos · Answer

Your son has a very severe mental condition and he needs professional help... If he has threatened to burn down your house he needs to be committed to an inpatient facility for his own safety... One problem... He's 18 and is considered an adult now... You cannot force anything on him as far as treatment...  You're going to have to involve the police and the courts in this... By your wording i'm assuming that your in the UK so I don't know the laws in your country concerning mental health issues... But it's time you took action!

Brick walls are tough to break down but you're going to have to keep trying to talk to people until you find someone that will listen...

Your son is dangerous and needs help... 

Keep at it until you find him help...

Anonymous · Answer

Don't kick your son out. That is very unfair to him because you are his mother and you are supposed to give unconditional love, no matter what the circumstances. What I would try to remember is that its not your son that is being mean to you.. it is his mental illnesses. He needs to see a psychiatrist and get some medication or maybe he just needs someone to talk to. Try sitting down with him and asking him if there is anything he wants to talk about. Maybe he is having relationship problems or problems with his work or school. Anything is possible. Plus, I know this sounds silly, but have his thyroid tested. My psychology teacher was telling us how a girl was diagnosed with OCD and it was because her thyroid was too low.

Help, please please help.?

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