Summer occurs in the month of June,
it will be here very soon.
The days are longer
wind and sun can be stronger
Weather can be very hot
just the same drink alot
People would be getting ready to suntan
without the sunscreen they can get sunburned
It can also rain
if this happens it can ruin plans.
Make sure you don't forget
your coat and umbrella or you could regret
People may go on vacations
to visit relatives in different locations
Anonymous
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its a simple poem but for describing what goes on in summer its got everything in their ;p
SMX™ -- Lover Of Hero @};-
I think you are trying too hard to rhyme and it is not flowing like a good poem should.
And when you try to rhyme so hard like this it becomes choppy, as if your reciting a line straight from the script with no emotions at all.
I think you need to switch up your style of trying to rhyme and find something that flows. Like your third verse:
"Weather can be very hot
just the same drink alot"
It would sound alot better like this:
"Weather can be scorching hot
Lemonade quenches ones thirst
Makes one forget, the heat of the night
And enjoy the sandy beaches
The water, thirsting for more..."
Adding adjectives helps you describe more of what you see and are feeling, Action verbs also help plenty..and rhyming is not necessary...
Anonymous
you have skill to be a poet. decision of words: 8/10 employer of techniques: 10/10 candy and directly to the element. i'm merely uncertain in case you somewhat meant to apply the be conscious "There". i think of it might desire to be particularly of, bu, who cares, besides? Poem does not inevitably mandatory grammar. great going!
ciao.italia08
it doesn't really flow, and is kind of choppy.
try to tie the phrases or stanzas together more, if you know what i mean. (don't talk about sunscreen, and then start going on about it raining)
ciao
toecee
Nothing for me! It's brilliant!!