Adoptees in reunion: Do you have more traits, tastes, interests in common with your bio or adoptive family?

Favorite Answer

Bio.

A quick and dirty summary:

politically = bio
religiously = bio
academically = bio
reading = bio
appearances = bio
personality = bio
theatre = bio
writing = bio
sense of humor = adoptive (though I don't have as much evidence for my bio)

That's just off the top of my head.

When I received my first letter from my bio-mom, the social worker who sent it said that we wrote the same way. I thought she was crazy. Then my wife read it (without knowing what the social worker had said). She thought my mom sounded just like me in our word choices, our sentence structure, etc. We write the same way. I never would have thought that that was genetic. Wild.

ETA: What's odd about this, for me, is that I grew up in a different region of the U.S. Thus, my dialect and accent is different. But despite growing up in a more "liberal" part of the country, my adoptive family, and everyone around me, was very "conservative." My bio-mom, having lived her entire life in a more "conservative" part of the country, is fairly "liberal." (As an example.)

Also, and I won't get into details, but one of my brothers and I spent some time comparing notes about the crazy relationships we've been in. Apparently, he looks at my current successful relationship and holds out some hope for himself. (I do, too.)...Show more

Out of the four adoptees in my immediate and extended family that have found their biological family, all four are way more like them then their adoptive family. It is more apparent to those of us who are watching from the outside, just because we can see the idiosyncrasies, plus we are willing to say "Yeah they have the same personality" even when the adoptee might wish they were more like their adoptive family then their bio family.

The most interesting case in my family was two siblings who were adopted into a family, raised together and were only a year apart in age, and they were nothing like each other. Then they both met their bio-family (whom I have met as well) and they are both like people in their individual bio families. And I don't just mean somewhat similar, I mean A LOT alike....Show more

Yes I do. My natural family history is of course mine, as their DNA is what created me. However, I also consider my adoptive family history to be as much a part of me, as my adoptive family played a HUGE role in making me the person that I am. In turn, their ancestors made them who they are, thus impacting on me as a whole person, and my identity. Others will disagree, and that's ok. DNA and genetics play a very important role, but so do environment, love and care. It's not about 'pretending' that my adoptive family has contributed to my DNA. It's about recognizing the number of factors that contribute to my identity and realizing that not all of it is from my genes. I haven't done a family tree since I was a child (school projects, lol) and my parents always helped me to put in as much information as they knew from my bio family. But I would have been devastated then, as I would now, if they hadn't considered me to be a part of their family tree also....Show more

Actually, what I've found is that, though my 1/2 brother and I don't have all that much in common, he has a lot in common with my closest friends... (I don't have much in common with my closest friends... so that's kind of weird!)

But I have the same weird sense of humor, mannerisms, hand gestures, quirky catch-phrases and such as my f-mom.

And according to my f-mom, i'm like a younger female clone of her closest little brother. So that's pretty darn snazzy.

I do NOT have a lot in common with my adoptive family... like at all... i'm completely opposite from them in almost every way humanly possible. It doesn't mean I love them any less... in fact, my relationship with my a-mom is fabulous... and the fact that she's so different has really taught me quite a bit since I've become an adult and finally started listening to her. :)...Show more

In terms of traits, tastes and common interests, I am more like my family through nature rather than my family through adoption.

The funny thing is that my adoptive family clearly saw from the start that I was quite different in these respect than was their natural son. They simply attributed it to my genetics and that was that.

My first family members often make reference to the very strong similarities we share. I was quite stunned. I expected to see some similarities, but I never realized how deep they would run.

Here are just a few things that are boldly common:

~Speech patterns and phraseology (not simply the sound of my voice.)

~Musical ability.

~Interests in math, science and reading.

~Physical appearance (obviously.)

~Tastes in food and general clothing styles.

~Gesturing and physical stance during conversation. (This one has been eerily pointed out by many family members from the start of reunion, particularly since my most of the similarities are with my first mother who died prior to reunion.)

What I find odd is that anyone would be overly concerned with the commonalities found in those who are biologically related. If the adoptive relationships have a strong bond of love, then what does it matter if the child is highly similar or dissimilar to the parents who adopted her?...Show more