Adoptees in reunion: Do you have more traits, tastes, interests in common with your bio or adoptive family?

Bio.

A quick and dirty summary:

politically = bio

religiously = bio

academically = bio

reading = bio

appearances = bio

personality = bio

theatre = bio

writing = bio

sense of humor = adoptive (though I don't have as much evidence for my bio)

That's just off the top of my head.

When I received my first letter from my bio-mom, the social worker who sent it said that we wrote the same way. I thought she was crazy. Then my wife read it (without knowing what the social worker had said). She thought my mom sounded just like me in our word choices, our sentence structure, etc. We write the same way. I never would have thought that that was genetic. Wild.

ETA: What's odd about this, for me, is that I grew up in a different region of the U.S. Thus, my dialect and accent is different. But despite growing up in a more "liberal" part of the country, my adoptive family, and everyone around me, was very "conservative." My bio-mom, having lived her entire life in a more "conservative" part of the country, is fairly "liberal." (As an example.)

Also, and I won't get into details, but one of my brothers and I spent some time comparing notes about the crazy relationships we've been in. Apparently, he looks at my current successful relationship and holds out some hope for himself. (I do, too.)

Out of the four adoptees in my immediate and extended family that have found their biological family, all four are way more like them then their adoptive family. It is more apparent to those of us who are watching from the outside, just because we can see the idiosyncrasies, plus we are willing to say "Yeah they have the same personality" even when the adoptee might wish they were more like their adoptive family then their bio family.

The most interesting case in my family was two siblings who were adopted into a family, raised together and were only a year apart in age, and they were nothing like each other. Then they both met their bio-family (whom I have met as well) and they are both like people in their individual bio families. And I don't just mean somewhat similar, I mean A LOT alike.

Yes I do. My natural family history is of course mine, as their DNA is what created me. However, I also consider my adoptive family history to be as much a part of me, as my adoptive family played a HUGE role in making me the person that I am. In turn, their ancestors made them who they are, thus impacting on me as a whole person, and my identity. Others will disagree, and that's ok. DNA and genetics play a very important role, but so do environment, love and care. It's not about 'pretending' that my adoptive family has contributed to my DNA. It's about recognizing the number of factors that contribute to my identity and realizing that not all of it is from my genes. I haven't done a family tree since I was a child (school projects, lol) and my parents always helped me to put in as much information as they knew from my bio family. But I would have been devastated then, as I would now, if they hadn't considered me to be a part of their family tree also.

Actually, what I've found is that, though my 1/2 brother and I don't have all that much in common, he has a lot in common with my closest friends... (I don't have much in common with my closest friends... so that's kind of weird!)

But I have the same weird sense of humor, mannerisms, hand gestures, quirky catch-phrases and such as my f-mom.

And according to my f-mom, i'm like a younger female clone of her closest little brother. So that's pretty darn snazzy.

I do NOT have a lot in common with my adoptive family... like at all... i'm completely opposite from them in almost every way humanly possible. It doesn't mean I love them any less... in fact, my relationship with my a-mom is fabulous... and the fact that she's so different has really taught me quite a bit since I've become an adult and finally started listening to her. :)

In terms of traits, tastes and common interests, I am more like my family through nature rather than my family through adoption.

The funny thing is that my adoptive family clearly saw from the start that I was quite different in these respect than was their natural son. They simply attributed it to my genetics and that was that.

My first family members often make reference to the very strong similarities we share. I was quite stunned. I expected to see some similarities, but I never realized how deep they would run.

Here are just a few things that are boldly common:

~Speech patterns and phraseology (not simply the sound of my voice.)

~Musical ability.

~Interests in math, science and reading.

~Physical appearance (obviously.)

~Tastes in food and general clothing styles.

~Gesturing and physical stance during conversation. (This one has been eerily pointed out by many family members from the start of reunion, particularly since my most of the similarities are with my first mother who died prior to reunion.)

What I find odd is that anyone would be overly concerned with the commonalities found in those who are biologically related. If the adoptive relationships have a strong bond of love, then what does it matter if the child is highly similar or dissimilar to the parents who adopted her?

I have a lot in common with my biological family.

I am a good mix of both my biological parents however, tend to take on my biological mother's side in body type and eye and hair colour biological father's side.

Interests: I am more like my biological father's side with a love of music, history, writing, etc. I am the only one of all my biological siblings that love all of the above, so my biological father's parents were glad to hear someone shared the love for the same things.

Political/Religion: They do not follow any religion, I am a Christian (Anglican), however, non practising, I do not read the bible or any of that even though my adoptive father is a priest.

My biological family are narrow-minded in terms of other cultures and sexual orientations, etc. when I am open-minded.

Looks: My 16 year old biological brother looks exactly like me, it is creepy, my other two siblings look nothing like me.

Otherwise, I tend to not have a whole lot in common with either family, my adoptive mother I am in ways like her, not to the degree she thinks though.

I am just me, not like anyone else.

As an adoptive parent, with an open adoption after 10 month separation, I find it amazing at how many things our son takes after his biological parents. He sits up straight just like his 1st dad, he can do a frown when he's mad, just like his 1st mom, and he and his brother both play the piano with both hands (my son's almost a year, brother is 5. My son loves green beans as his favorite food, just like his 1st dad.

I also have a 19 year old son, who's father left us when I was pregnant. It's amazing at how they walk just alike, hold their head, and many, many things identical, although mirror image.

Also, my fiance's brother was placed for adoption, and just recently reunited. They both talk on the phone for hours, his wife and I look almost like sisters, they both raised step-kids that they tried to adopt when they were both younger, and as adults, and they both share the same hobbies: golf, fishing, and hunting.

I also see my adopted son taking after our side too though. He is always happy and smiling all the time. I have seen his mother and brother smile, although just barely, where I see Jacob smile every day, big time. Our side of the family laughs and smiles a lot, and I see that in my son. He also likes to go in the car more than they do.

I have much, much more in common with my natural ("nature") family than my adoptive.

What *gets* me is that some people are threatened by that idea. There's nothing wrong with being completely different than my family from adoption. I still love them to bits and pieces! I'm also very, very different from my husband and my best friend. You get what I'm saying here, right? *sigh*

Anyway...examples:

Politics - natural family

I grew up in the REDDEST state in the entire country (I'd defy anyone to argue that) and I am a liberal. My natural family members are all very or somewhat liberal. My a-parents are as conservative as it gets.

Religion - natural family

This is a little trickier, but I choose natural because in my natural family, each of us has chosen a different religion -- or none at all. My natural mother and I have both 'joined' and 'resigned' the same church -- to me that's just FUNNY! All my adoptive family members except my youngest sister and myself belong to the same (one) religion. The predominant one where we live.

Appearance - natural family

Gestures - natural family - mother, specifically

Voice - natural family (voice - mother/sister, laugh - brother)

Body size/type/etc - natural family (the females)

Sense of humor - Both (natural father and adoptive father and sister)

Food likes/dislikes - natural mother (I am a 'food taste' carbon copy of my nMom.)

Education - Adoptive family (6 out of 6 college graduates. 5 out of 6 post-graduate study. 3 out of 6 post-graduate degrees.)

Interests - Both

If I'm just counting a 'gross total' number of interests that I share with bio or adopted family members, then...adopted. The single person I share the most interests with is a natural sister.

The single person I share the most "omg, me too!" traits with is my natural mother. This includes many of the little details that fall into the larger categories above.

I could go on and on and on...but I won't.

:-)

Oh! Bio for sure.

My adad can't tell my sister and I apart on the phone.

My mom and I both cover our noses with our hands when we laugh.

My dad and I both have an odd love for El Camino's

My sis and I both have a not so odd love for VW's

My mom and I are both dorks when it comes to crafting.

My grandpa and I are the only family members who can make decent pie crust.

We all like cats better than dogs, I was raised in a dog loving family

All us women tend to be rather "in tune" with each other, if you kwim.

Two strange stories.

When my sister first moved to Alberta, to live with our mom and I, we discovered (within moments of meeting) that about half of our clothing and makeup was exactly the same. Despite never having met and living hundreds of KMs away we have almost identical tastes.

A very close family friend was visiting my grandma and commented on a baby picture on the wall. She asked when that picture of Trina (my sister) had been taken as she had never seen it before but "recognized" the dress she was wearing since it was so obviously something my mom would have dressed Trina in. It was actually a picture of my eldest daughter, Rayne!

I look like my BioDad's Family but had more interests with my BioMom's side of the Family. Everybody is a Musician of some sort, most of the males were hunters and fisherman, we all have jobs that have to do with construction and we all liked the same TV shows but they were a bit weird.

I prefer my Adopted Family much more.