Why would an ex-girlfriend behave this way? ?

Question

My husband and I have been married almost 20 yrs. We met and married after we were both out of High School and he was in the USMC. His ex was his high school girlfriend. She was a year younger and completely obsessed with him when we were dating. She was immature and into stalking him or both of us. She would make it a point to run into his younger sisters and tell them how she still thought of him, she wasn't over him, etc... and this even happened when she knew we were married and I was pregnant. I never felt threatened or upset - it was just so annoying. I trust my husband and know he has zero interest in her - he is the love of my life and we have a wonderful marriage. I just thought her behavior was so odd! 

We lived out of state for 15 yrs. We heard she got married a few yrs after we did and thought - oh good - she's moved on! We never saw her. Over the years however, we've heard about her still asking about my husband from time to time. Wondering if he's married, wondering how many kids he has, where he lives, etc... 

We moved back to our hometown 5 yrs ago. We heard she lives 40 miles away. She was up visiting last year and ran into my husband's younger sister. She asked all the same old questions again. My sis in law told her she needed to forget him. She wasn't happy. I'll add - she is still married and has 3 kids. She is a pastor's daughter. 

Today I was on Facebook and noticed she just joined. The first people she looked up included my husband and his cousins (who are also on my friends list - so I can see everything). Why would a married woman with children be so interested in reconnecting with their high school sweetheart? What's the point? I have zero interest in looking up past loves - those relationships ended for a reason. It's not as if they broke up on good terms either - she was cheating on him with one of his best friends. I'm sure her husband has no idea she behaves like this.
I'm simply ignoring her  - but I wonder - what the heck?  If you were me, what would you do?

gretch · Accepted Answer

i would make sure your husband knows that you find her behavior out of the ordinary and downright creepy.  if it were me, i wouldn't want my husband accepting her as a friend on those sites simply because it feeds her obsession (not because he can't be trusted).  the fact that it's been 20 years makes her behavior even more odd and possible scary.  the more contact she has with him and your family, who knows what she'd be capable of?  i think to protect your family, you both should keep her off your facebooks and completely ignore her.  it's possbile that saying something to her could feed the drama and her obsession.  good luck!

? · Answer

Okay, Im sorta the same way with my boyfriend, but I'm 17 and we were together for 4 years and have a baby. What goes through our head, is that we really want you to be hurt the way we are. If you have nothing that should be kept in contact over then she shouldn't be asking you for anything, but when she does, its just a girls way of saying "I still need you" Maybe its being said the wrong way but she isn't sure how else to do it. She isn't really ready to let you go, and if you're posting on here asking this, I'm guess you're not ready to let go either.. I really think that you should change your number and not give it to her, but do that only if you're over her. If you're not, you really need to talk to her about it and let her know the things she says hurt you. If she continues after you admitting to her that it hurts you, then don't pay her any attention bc all thats doing is saying she really doesnt care and only wants to make your life misserable. If she does stop, it shows she got what she wanted (seeing you hurt like her, even if it was her fault) and that will be the first actual step to ending this all for good. Best of luck.

munowisdom2008 · Answer

Wow!...oddly interesting, well to start off by saying you have a high tolerance level and I think it's time for a restraining order(joking)..but she honestly needs to move on, or just simply try talking to her woman to woman.If she ca't understand that he is happily married and has kids then she needs therapy.

-good luck

Why would an ex-girlfriend behave this way? ?

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