I am an adult woman. I know that "fat" is a perspective. And yet, My husband just told me I am getting fat.
Here is the thing. I used to be fat. I used to be a size 14. I am now a size 8. I was once a size 4 but seriously I ate next to nothing. I gave that up.
I'm not sure what to do. Leave him, the man I've been with for like 10 years, or go off into some uncertain world where I don't know what might happen.
Help!
SierraMystiqueFoveaux
Favorite Answer
Well, to be honest, it depends on your height. You need to calculate your BMI, Body Mass Index in order to see if you are at a healthy weight/size for your body. http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/ is a great place to look.
However, I would say that you should be very proud of yourself for the weight loss you've already acheived, and that you are at a size where you're eating enough to keep your hunger away. Your husband was being very cruel to have said something like that, as he is supposed to love his wife in all circumstances.
I would say that you should talk with him about it, about how it hurt your feelings, and that you feel confident at your current size, and if he isn't happy with it, that he can leave and try to find a woman who will bend over backwards to become everything he wants her to be.
This happened to me last year, but it was just with a boyfriend I was dating. I began starving myself, and making myself throw up whatever I did eat. I got to the size he wanted me to be, a size 6, and I'm 5'10. I lost 45 pounds in 2 months. It was ridiculous. As soon as I became the size he wanted, he wanted to change my hair color.
I had enough and left him. Since then, I've gained some weight back, and am happy at my size 10, and am with a man who loves me now exactly the way that I am.
Good luck :]
Chris S
Your husband needs to get a little class. Size 8 is perfect. Size 4 is too thin. There must be some serious problems in your relationship if you're thinking about leaving him. Maybe you need to figure those out first. Other than that, what about him? Is he in perfect shape? Does he have any room for improvement? I'm sure you can find something to point out to him that he needs to fix. See how he likes it. Tell him his hairline is receding, or that his eyes are a little too close together, or that his butt is too flat. Make him think a little. Let him know he's not perfect either, but you still love him despite his imperfections. But seriously, size 8 is sexy.
L. W
If you are 4'8" wearing a size 8, might be considered fat. Apparently your husband is not tactful with his responses. Maybe just a discussion with him might help. Try telling him that words like 'fat' are hurtful. But at the same time, maybe he is trying to help you so that you don't lose perspective of your weight? Tell him "Thanks. But I would prefer if you would just say I am gaining a few pounds instead of saying I'm fat." (and of course that's if you would feel better hearing it that way)
Has he gained any weight recently? Possible point to bring up if he has.
But overall, he should be grateful that you lost that other weight . I really think his tact is hurting. As in insensitive to your feelings.
You mentioned about leaving him - are there other issues that contribute to this situation? Are there other callous verbalizations? Is it possible to sit & talk or is he one of those macho guys that HE says and everyone MUST jump?
floatkingoh
ok the first chiucks answer shouldnt count she doesnt even like guys not that im against that but she shouldnt be giving man advice when she dont even like them at all but no a size 8 is actually a perfect size unless you are under 5 ftanywhoo most men prefer women with curves 8 out of 10 according to maxim polls most likely there is something out of wack with ur hubby ask him what is wrong and he keeps being a dick tell him you might be fat but hes ugly and you can lose weight werd unghhhh..... see not all guys say shizzle like that man hater who was the first to answer wawawaaaaa sorry but i hope this at least makes you smile girl
Acessorie70
Have you told him how his comment hurt you?
It is very possible he doesn't know how much that bothers you.
I told my husband to never use the fat word.
A size 8 in NOT fat.
If you have tried to talk to him about using nice words and he refuses to be nice.. tell him you might need to go to marriage counseling (that in its self might work)
If all else fails and you don't feel like you can be a happy healthy person with self confidence around him .. it might be time for a change.