The daybreak complains about the dark skies,
The widows tears are just silenced crimes.
The wind howls through the trees,
The absent kid had more to plead.
When someone dies we are all dumb,
With cocaine eyes we are all numb.
Temptation slips right through the cracks,
You stare at your feet but will not collapse.
From the ripple of the pond to the pattern of the ceiling,
I stare at the sky and have no feeling.
Anonymous
Favorite Answer
I like this a lot.
Best line: With cocaine eyes we are all numb.
I'll give you some advice an old poet once told me*... Try to refrain from capitalizing the first letter of each line - it can get distracting to the reader.
"Old poet" was a joke. Y'all know that.
Anonymous
You're a poet too? I actually like this. It's very hard to successfully rhyme without sounding kitschy or cliche or forced. You managed to pull it off. Very nice imagery.
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Chuckles at Cilla's use of the term..."old poet". Oh. The poem. I think they are right. This is good, has potential. Look forward to reading more from you!
Anonymous
That's very original. Dark, moody, creative and soulful. Very nice. You're talented.
Kyoko
这诗写得好棒喔!!! =D
Well, my favorite sentences are:
When someone dies we are all dumb,
With cocaine eyes we are all numb.
Fits what I'm feeling now xD
Thumbs up for the poem. =]