What to do with 16 year old's out of control behavior?
Son has joint physical custody of daughter that just turned 16. Mother is non-traditional and has done and ALLOWED much. Son and our whole family have "went to the end of the earth" to help daughter have happiness amid Mother's barrage of troubles given. Daughter was always happiest at Daddy's house. Son went to prison for 2 years in fluke mishap. Left daughter at "mercy" of mother. He is home now and GOOD, but mother allowed daughter to become involved with 20 year old drop-out on probation for drive-by...allowed daughter to go STAY with him almost every weekend without supervision...among other dispicable acts for a mother. Basically, she was left on her own to do for herself most of the time. Now, daughter wants to spend all her time with boyfriend as she did before. My son is trying to re-inforce parental guidelines and MOTHER agreed to back him up, but failed after only one week. Daughter refuses to come to Dad's because he will not allow her to spend the night with boyfriend. LOTS OF DRAMA going on with phone battles, etc... Son is totally heartbroken. We all are. He believes he should speak to the boyfriends probation officer and enforce "what is right." Wants his daughter to spend these next months until she becomes 17 and CAN (I think in Missouri) leave home to try to "reel her back in." But is torn and doesn't know if it is really the right way to handle it or not. Daughter just had first wreck and has gone wild in more ways than just boyfriend. He fears for her safety and also fears losing her love, what appears to be left, anyway. He had advice to "go all the way" to enforce rules, from mentors. But has refrained so far while trying to decide. He doesn't want RID of boyfriend, JUST RULES and for daughter to be non-obsessed and enjoy school activities again like she once did. She has ALMOST become the spitting image of her troubled mother. What should he do...go all the way with love to enforce the "right thing" and hope it works and his daughter forgives him or "let what is going to happen, happen. Please serious replies only and Thank You.
Anonymous2009-03-19T23:38:49Z
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Put a serious foot down and save the young girl from herself. I am 22 years old, and I thank God everyday that my parents instilled good morals into me as a child, and that I have a good head on my shoulders.<-- without all that, I wouldn't have made it out of my teenage years. When I was 15, my parents divorced and I was given all the freedom in the world... literally I had no boundaries. My parents are really good people that gave me a good example when I was young, they just couldn't be so involved at the time. So as a rebellious teen, I was lovin life! I partied hard, I drank way too much alcohol, got into drugs, and led a really rebellious life that I am not proud of. I had to learn from my own mistakes that that wasn't the life I wanted to have. I got lucky though because I was not addicted to drugs and I didn't get any diseases. A lot of kids these days aren't so lucky. I am in college now, studying, not partying, and I am so excited to respect my brain, and be proud of my respectable lifestyle. I have goals and dreams that I can accomplish.
But again, most people are not that lucky!! Especially if they are a young girl with a mother that is a bad role-model. You need to step in while you have the legal power to and throw down some serious rules for her own good. If my parents did that, I would be graduated from college already like most 22 year olds, I would be A LOT further along in pursuing my goals, and I would have been saved a lot of grief, trouble, heart-ache, confusion, and embarrassment throughout my teen years.
A 20 year old drop-out on probation for drive-by. Are you kidding?! Get rid of that boy now!! What kind of influence is that?!?! You need to get this girl on track while she still has a chance at a good life. School only- no parties no boys. Make her take a sport too. Apply to college and use financial aid to attend. You don't want her to be like her mother right? She will hate you all right now for forcing her into this, and she will try to rebel, but stay tough. It will be hard to control her but don't give up!! She will LOVE you for it later when she is living life as a respectable, educated adult. Please show her that she has the talent and ability to do anything in life and that she should not waste herself on her current lifestyle that will lead her nowhere.
Put a restraining order on the boy. Make her live with her dad. AND FIND GIRLS HER AGE THAT WILL SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. At 16, you want to do whats cool- so put her around people that think school and sports are cool, not getting into trouble and dating losers.
I hope I have influenced you because I would like to help any girl in her teens to make the right choices. I know what it is like because I was just there- with no guidance. If I can prevent a girl from going through the same mistakes that I did then all that time of me screwing up won't go to complete waste.
What is this family doing? Of coarse you need to reinforce the rules the daughter er is going crazy and SHOULD go to therapy. If you don't act fast the daughter WILL end up like the mother. and for the boyfriend that's simple, you still have custody over her so you can make sure that she doesn't see him you could even get a restraining order for all I care. And like the other person said if they are doing anything sexual it is a rape and the boyfriend could go to jail. Get this family in order.
For anyone you can't really force anyone to do anything until they learn their lesson-whatever and however long that takes. She is not an adult so you have legal power to keep her away from those people. Actually, if she is running around with a 20 year old and they are doing anything sexual ,legally, she is being raped.
She came from a bad background so chances are if someone doesn't step in and lay down the law and get TOUGH with her, she will end up like her mother.
Teenagers think they are to old for spankins...but there not get you a good belt and wear her behind out...dats the only way 2 tell her and show her u mean business!!!! My sister has a 15-year-old...and she's out of control worse than dat 16-year-old..... I told my sister she was gonna have 2 wear her fanny out she did....and dat girl has behaved since.....Or you mite have 2 take her 2 a Disipline Camp if da spankin dosen't work!!! I hope I really helped you....e-mail me @ asklaura123@yahoo.com and let me know how everything worked out with dat 16-year-old.....but U have 2 do anything in your will 2 get dat 16-year-old back on track.....you even pray 2 God 2 help u control her God will hear your pray....but u have 2 keep prayin 2 get a solution 1 prey will not get it always...but u have 2 keep prayin God will hear u go 2 a secret closet and PRAY!!!! PLEASE E-MAIL ME AND LET ME KNOW HOW EVERYTHING GOING
Having a crim for a father doesn't help, obviously your parenting skills are brought into disrepute after your son turned out to be a Prison Inmate. Your Granddaughter and her mum, who incidently does not have a criminal record, are doing what they believe is best.
But out and pass judgement on the the other people. isn't there a saying people in Glasshouses. Two years in chokey is not for dropping garbage. Are you so jealous of your Grand daughters active Sex life. after al! your son was someone's "*****" in Prison