How do you like my poems? I'm only 13. Tell me which one you like best.?

I've wrote a few poems, and I posted them on FictionPress but no one really gave any feedback. Tell me how you like them. Tell the truth: constructive critisism is really appreciated!!

Here I Stay: (screwed up rhyming scheme)
sorrow and grief
no relief
they threaten to run down
my ugly face
retched tears
silly fears
catch my breath, hope to death
that I won’t go down tonight
black on black
quiet attack
darkness surrounding
me
no escape
from the façade
that binds me here
today
heavy burdens
on my heart
such a fragile thing
from the start
reach out
cry out
touch nothing
silent cries
creep through slowly
slowly devouring
as I’m cowering
away from myself
eat my way
through the day
maybe I’ll make it
until then here I stay

Premonition:
No fear of what’s behind,
only what’s to come.
The fear of my impending doom,
scarce hope, only some.

My premonition of what will take me soon,
leaves me breathless, shaken.
Flickering and faltering images of my past,
the punishment in the making.

That dark ‘something’ is catching up,
repercussions of my past.
Soon my actions will obliterate me
only my shadows left to cast.

Dark shadows devouring the light,
lurking, haunting.
Reflections of myself and what I have done,
laughing, taunting.

I look into the mirror one last time
and see what I’ve become.
Dark eyes taken over with hate,
but there’s still more to come.

So now I sit alone and cry.
My tears pour over and I moan.
Consequences of my actions
left me so alone.

Forever I Will:
I see you all around me
but my mind knows your not there
only a figment of my imagination
a beautiful one

I see glimpses of you
an illusion of my past
trying to break me down
it’s working

I feel you all around me
just out of my grasp
can’t touch you, I reach out
and find nothing

I feel your presence
seek you out only
to find empty air
I’m alone

I hear you all around me
your voice sounds like an angel’s
whispering words that I want to hear
words you will never speak.

I hear you close to me
breathing low and quiet
whispering more
lovely words.

I see you
I feel you
I hear you
I love you

Forever

Theif:
Poison snaking through my veins
Adds onto the pain.
More

Sneaky and sly
Your tricky little games
Broken hearts galore.

Pushing through the wall
Try to get past my barricade
Success.

Crashing down, then I fall
Broken heart and façade
Down I go

Forever falling in misery
Never peaceful, no relief
Forever

You- forever ingrained in my memory
Brings only hurt and grief
Save me

My heart, stolen
Forever you will keep it.
Theif

Swollen:
Everyone’s clueless
about what’s going on
in that tiny little house
during the crack of dawn.

Beatings and torture,
bleeding and screaming.
The poor child thinks
life has no meaning.

Cowering away
from the person inflicting
this pain on him
with punching and kicking.

The dad had a hangover
while the mom is on crack.
The child is terribly skinny
from the food he lacks.

He screams for mercy
but the beating continues.
He’s loosing his life,
and all that he values.

He never deserved this
and it still goes unexplained
as the parents abuse him
completely unrestrained.

Twenty seven bruises
scattered across him.
A slice on his forehead
and ten on his limb.

He cries when their gone
his head barely maintained,
and grieves over all that
they have detained.

His head itches
from the lice he’s obtained.
But the beatings gradually worsen
the more he complains.


Only ten years old
with his virginity stolen.
Now he lays on the floor
bleeding and swollen.


As you can see, most of them are angst poetry. Mostly what I'm feeling right now (being a teenager and all). Tell me what you truthfully think about them....Show more