"Money" - How do you feel during the recession?

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My money doesn’t keep my pockets company like she used to…
She had to leave due to “complications at the world bank”,
I shouted “Let me come with you!”
She replied “You’d never understand”…
So she up and left, I felt cheap, used and dirty
Told me she would return by time I was 30.

Without money I can’t laugh, eat or sleep,
And when I try other girls; I feel like I cheat.
1 million problems and this is just some of them,
I’ve left her 4 voicemails a day,
Emailed her my pics in dismay,
She has replied to none of them.
3 billion men she’s f*cked and I’m one of them.
I asked her to recommend any friends of her calibre,
She texted and recommended me some of em’:
Power and Respect, she said.
But I knew they weren’t the sex, like money was,
I declined and told her I wanted back her honey touch,
The sweetness, the way she folded up in my pocket,
I found a new wallet just for her and I know she’d love it.

I had a feeling she slept about mad,
Attention; she never went without that,
Caught her with loads of other guys,
From gangsters to robbers, landlords to surfers, I tried to confront her but I knew it would hurt us.
Without money I’m worthless.
I can’t hold that against her, she treated me well,
Gave me hope when everywhere I turned there was hell.
Oh money, I’m feeling inadequate,
I need your Midas touch, your feel was immaculate.
Just tell me that you will be back soon, give me those words that I need to hear, somebody said you will return in a year?
Is that true?

P.S
I love you.

2009-04-25T18:37:45Z

Firstly, thanks for your answers, it's so hard in Poetry section to even get any responses because people don't comment poetry that isn't obvious to the eye.

Stephanie - Thanks for the answer, the poem is about how the average "money hungry" man crumbles under the weight of the global recession. He feels that money has somehow cheated him because he doesn't have as much as he did before. I referenced "3 billion other men" in the poem somewhere lol, to signify the widespread effects of the financial markets downfall.

Lalu - Thanks a lot, I always like to get feedback from my contacts. I don't know how I should go about publishing it, I have quite a few poems that I wrote previously, I'll be posting them all up soon, it's just getting answers out of them that is hard lol.

2009-04-25T18:53:17Z

Thankyou Cristina, I appreciate your answer immensely thanks for reading it :)

2009-04-26T09:04:26Z

Lmao, na Training Day I wasn't high. I came in from a party and just felt like writing I don't know why. I always get like that. I have one of those "high minds" I always think about weird stuff and I don't need Weed to do it lol (imagine if i tried it with weed).

Thanks Cocoa Butter :)

2009-04-27T16:21:59Z

I can't possibly choose a best answer so I'll leave it to vote on this one (that's rare for me). Thanks again, check my 360 blog too for newer poems :)

Anonymous2009-04-25T18:46:17Z

Favorite Answer

Talawah, I have always admired your mind and how it works. This poem is awesome. I love the analogy you make comparing the love of money to the love of a woman and the betrayal of trust we are all feeling right now in this economy to a lover's betrayal. Very clever, deep and well written.

Bravo !!!

Stephanie2009-04-26T01:19:02Z

First, thanks for your answer to my question. I'll definitely take your advice into consideration when i rewrite my poem (:

And to answer yours...

Well. It is sort of confusing, I think. The way you wrote it, it's hard to tell whether you're writing a poem about money, like a financial crisis, or whether you're writing about someone you love and you are using money to symbolize that.

But overall I think it was very interesting, a well written poem.

A few minor changes should be made, but that applies to all poems, I think.


Anyway, clarify the whole money/lover thing and it would be a wonderful poem.

Oh, and I love the way you said 'Midas touch'
I don't know why, but I love it when people refer to Greek mythology.

(:

lalu2122009-04-26T01:20:27Z

Wow. Amazing poem, seriously. Love how you made the attachment that money-hungry folk have with money out to seem like a romantic relationship. I enjoyed reading it too and I agree with the first answerer, you need to publish this, before someone else might steal it and claim it's theirs.

I don't think it's confusing at all. I don't really have any complaints or critiques. :)

Anonymous2009-04-26T03:13:24Z

very powerful metaphor.

I like that you compare the power of money to that of a sex goddess. You describe the intoxication of the love of money and the hold it can have over a man well.

My fave piece:
I asked her to recommend any friends of her calibre,
She texted and recommended me some of em’:
Power and Respect, she said.
But I knew they weren’t the sex, like money was,

lol. yes, you killed that.

Zumaria2009-04-26T19:58:21Z

You got skills. This is very deep. Love it. Especially considering how many today worship at the altar to the Almighty Dollar. It shows how its not worth it.

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