How is this poem about drugs?

I was thinking about things to write a poem about and this came to mind. I posted this on FictionPress but didn't get much feedback.. Constructive critisism is strongly appreciated. Anything I did wrong or what I can do to improve.

He was starting something terrible
and he was ending with it.
A burden carried on
fragile shoulders of those
who cared.
It was evil crushed
into grains. It promised
sweet releases.
As it had consumed his head,
it devoured his senses,
dominating over him.
it was suicide
rolled into a
tight joint.
Confusing his thoughts,
his life changed
in one night.
Such a large amount,
in such a short period
of time.
Precious time
he would never get back.
Craving more
with every puff,
every snort.
He knew
he was living a lie,
and he found out
that life has no meaning.
But he was continuing,
perishing.
It was a few weeks later
we found him lying
on the floor.
His heart not beating.

Hope you liked it! What did you think?

phalor092009-05-19T16:09:30Z

Favorite Answer

it's a great poem in a sad way ;)>

Anonymous2009-05-19T16:30:02Z

It is ok, but it sounds as if you have not personally experienced the use, or misuse, of drugs. Try reading about the root cause of drug use and explore the end results. In most cases, overdose and death are far less calamitous than the horror of a life time of addiction.

nobody2009-05-19T17:26:54Z

i like it. its allot better than mine

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popping all these pills my life is heading to the hills all the meds ive taken are hiting me harder than ever now i can not allow this xanax to go in my mouth or else i will be really f*cked up get the willys and wack out get chilly and black out cant see, hear or feal a thing these drugs really f*cking up my thoughts a whole lot now i need to stop, stop with the drugs stop doing this to my life get clean and spend some time with my wife.

?2009-05-19T16:10:18Z

I like it!

*Applause*