My family is filled with Drama, and i have pushed away from them and everything and the drama is still just following us. And my Girlfriend is at her Witt's end and on the brink of saying its over with me. what should i do?
Invisigoth
Favorite Answer
The drama finds you because you allow it into your life. You're still allowing yourself to be sucked back into your family's drama.
you have to do a better job of (oh no! pop psych term coming up!) establishing boundaries with your family and not letting their drama affect your life.
if you don't get a handle on things now then this girlfriend won't be the only SO who leaves you because of your family drama.
since you haven't given any specific examples of how the family drama is interfering w/ your life, I'll give you a hypothetical:
Mom calls all up in arms about something your sibling did that displeased her (it can be anything from something small & stupid to something huge & zomg it's prison for him/her). She rants and raves and then asks you to speak to him/her.
1. mom is all excited and upset which probably gets you excited and upset and you rant and rave to your GF and stress out your GF.
2. mom has asked you to stick your nose into something that is none of your business and plop you right in the middle of hers and someone else's drama. And you the dutiful and loyal daughter do what you probably already know you shouldn't be doing because you want to help mom.
STOP. you only *listen* to mom. make reassuring noises in her general direction and you encourage her to deal w/ whomever she's having trouble with herself.
NEVER place yourself in the middle of someone else's drama. limit your time and exposure w/ them. when it gets to be too much, you cut them off.
NEVER take every single piddling problem to your SO. work out the small stuff on your own. Go for a walk, exercise, do whatever you need to do to work off the toxic junk your family is spewing at you.
ONLY take big important stuff to your SO. death, maiming, dismemberment, prison (1st offenders, not repeaters). Don't worry about cousin Sallie's latest ex-con live in who's just using her to leech off of her between prison stints.
keep telling yourself that you aren't being a disloyal family member just because you aren't willing to roll up your sleeves and join the latest brawl.
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i do no longer think of roughly it because of the fact i've got faith anybody is entitled to dislike me. If I even have given them a reason then i've got faith quite of maintaining grudges we could desire to constantly have the flexibility to talk like adults, and get to the muse of the priority. If it won't be able to be fastened then, I say the hell! with it. you're unlikely to delight anybody each and all the time, and interior the phrases of my mom "human beings hated Jesus so what makes you think of you're above human beings hating you" i've got faith relatives relationships can in basic terms be ruined in case you enable them to be. existence has taught me that some human beings take the easy way out and in some situations this is purely much less stressful to be mad.
?
move father away from your family, sorry can not help more this is a tuffy!
Ethan2390
move to another country????
Anonymous
your . . . . girlfriend??